Kevlar Archive

The Kevlar Files - Episode 1
Archived By David Kibrick (kiburi-san)

Note: These files contain the the original text of these messages,
complete with the original spelling (and misspelling), so don't blame me
for any mistakes that you find.

The Fifth Day (8/5/99 - 12/10/99): To Hell and Back

Ryo arrives, Disasters begin, evading the freshman hive, We all go to "hell" (beach, ice skating, old people, ice cream), The thesaurus is found, The defeat of Ryo, P.E. returns, Zombies attack, Ryu's tower dance

Last Updated 12/21/99 4:26 PM

169. Ryu looked Coldy over at Ryo and vice versa. Taiwan leered at Korea.

Kiki spoke up. "So is this your Evil Twin Ryu?" She asked.

"No, this is my Good Twin, Im the Evil Twin." Ryu Responded

Ryo Spoke up. "Well Brother it's good to see you again"

"I thought you were Banished to the Realm of Fuzzy pink things you
Pansy
White magick user!" Ryu said.

"I got out and have been spending time with Mom.You shouldn't Neglect
her
you know!You Dark Evil Mean Nasty Black Magick User!" Ryo said.

"Next you'll tell me Brother RiKoshi is on his way as well!" Ryu yelled

"You Know Mom Does Not Like it When We Mention his name!" Ryo yelled
back.

"your right, let us never bring up our insane brother again.But why
have you
come Ryo?" Ryu asked.

"I've come searching for the (T) of power Ryu! And to fix the Family
name
that you have Tarnished! I heard you were leaving so Im here to replace
you"
Ryo said defianetley.

"Well I hope you can Find a Date for the Dance Tommorrow! Because By
That
Time I will Already Be away In Massachusets at Miskatonic
Univeristy!..So
There Nah!" Ryu said sticking his tounge out at his Twin.

"Ha! There's no shame in going stag Dear Brother! But your to Dark and
mean
to relise something like that! I'm going to do just fine and dandy here
now
that you'll be leaving!" Ryo said.

"Well Good! Maybe these People Will Wise up about the truth about you
Ryo!"
Ryu said.

"What Truth? That Im a nice person unlike you Ryu!" Ryo retorted.

Ryu stood up coughing and looked over at Kiki. "Well then, I'll leave
you
two alone now.Im leaving for Rhode Island For Miskatonic Univeristy,
good
day" Ryu said picking up Taiwan who had snapped a few times at Korea.He
then
began to walk off.

"Im sorry you had to see that Miss Kiki. My brother has.... Problems he

needs to deal with." Ryo said."By the way, Do you yourself have a
escort for
the Dance?" He asked. "oh, Korea, please go and fetch me and the lady's
food
will you?" Korea Flew up saluted with a trail of pixie dust and said
"Right
away Sir!"

170. Kiki sat down on a plastic chair in-between Ryu and Ryo.
Taiwan had his eye on Korea; ³Another sidekick but I¹m still the best.²
Kiki looked at both the boys again; ³Who¹s Yig?² But then she decided
to
change her question; ³What the hell is going on here?!²
Ryu sighed.
³I have a few guesses,² continued Kiki, ³But it¹s a genius¹ right to
know
the facts!²
³Right I¹ll tell you,² said Ryu.
(Little did Kiki know that Lapin was now in a pizza shop eating most of
the
contents.)

171. Ryu stepped out of the portal and found himself in Front Of Majestic
Miskatonic Univerisy. He held Taiwan in his hands and looked up at the
school.

There were students lounging about and what not, he saw a cute witch
flying
on her broom.

He smiled holding his Friend and said. "Well Taiwan, we've finnaly
moved on
up!" He walked into the school immeidtely talking with the populace and
Gasp
getting along with them.

OOC Ryu Has now left the Game.He is now at Miskatonic Univeristy, which

always changes it's location every time someone is planning to go to
it.
Only Magicaly active people can always find it with ease.

Ryo Whateley 11th Grade, streets of Oshiba.

Ryo walked with a happy smile on his face as Korea hovered around him.
"Oh
Joy Master! Not only are we going to find the (T) of power, but You've
made
friends already!" She said in her annoyingly High Cute tinkly voice.

Ryo Laughed Jolly Like and replied "Yes, little one. Soon the (T) of
power
will be mine, and then we can change the world for the betterment of
all!
There's just one thing. We have to find it first. But the ritual
confirmed
it was located here in Oshiba, and Now with my Brother out of the way,
no
one can stop us!"

"HOORAY! JOY! YIPPIE!" Korea Exclaimed! "the world will be a cuter
Happier
place!" she said.

On the two walked, looking for the mysetrious (T) of power.

172. Boy Mai, sure can sleep Watch out folks cause shes sleepwalking and
the
slightest noise can wake her and cuase her to strike out with out
warning

Along her sleep walk Mai heads thru the school crashing thru walls,

doors, and windows. Eventually she gets outside the school and heads
down the
road. Cars stop and honk at her but she still remains asleep. Soon she
gets
to the shopping district of town where a bank is currently beign
robbed.
Nethier the alarm nor the sound of gun fire wakes her from her sleep
walk.
The two robbers and several cop run right past her firing off their
guns and
STILL SHE DOES NOT WAKE.

173. Kiki and Ryo were sat at a table on plastic chairs eating assorted
food
in the food court. Korea was back floating over Ryo.
Kiki¹s mind cast back, she thinks she might have seen a poster about
the
dance in chem class but it didn¹t click.
³I¹m sorry. I didn¹t know there was a school dance, you see I¹m new
hereŠ²
³I see,² said Ryo.
³I was hoping a certain person would ask me, but...² mumbled Kiki under
her
breath. She considered Ryo. She wasn¹t sure about him, there was
something
too good to be true. She also wanted to know more about this (T) of
power
thing he was searching for.
³Yes, I will be happy if you escorted me to the dance,² she smiled.
³Splendid, I¹ll see you tomorrow then,² said Ryo getting up.
³Alright, see you then and thanks again for the meal,² waved Kiki.
When Ryo and the pixie were out of sight Kiki rested her head on the
table
and started talking to herself; ³I¹ve never been to a school dance
before, I
wonder what it will be like?²
Then she heard a banging noise of metal pans and screams about a
rabbit.
³Lapin!² Kiki darted up and headed towards a shop called ŒPizza Stop¹
as
Lapin bounced out over the counter and into Kiki arms.
³Your stupid rabbit has eaten my profits!² yelled one of the two girls
behind the counter. By the name-tag her name was Emma.
³I¹m sorry,² said Kiki.
³The total comes to $34.99,² said the other, with a calculator, called
Amy.
³Well?² asked Emma.
³Sorry, I don¹t have any money,² said Kiki with a sad look on her face.
³Well you¹ll have to work it off then.²
For over an hour Kiki worked cleaning and setting the shop up for
tomorrow.
After she finished she asked Emma if she could get a part-time job.
³Sure,² said Emma ³We need extra help.²
So with Kiki receiving a new job and a Œdate¹ in the morning she opened
a
sub-space pocket and stepped in with Lapin. As the pocket was closing
she
was already asleep.

174. Kiki woke up, she was on a bunch of pillows on her ship¹s floor. Lapin
was
sleeping on top of her stomach. She careful picked him up put him on
the
pillows and got up. She looked around the ship; ³I¹ve got to find time
to
fix this up. I haven¹t done much since crashing here.²
Kiki teleported out of the ship and stared out at the dark and barren
landscape of sub-space. As a cool wind blew she looked at her watch;
³Time
for school I guess.² She created a whitehole and stepped through it
into the
real world. She reappeared out of a blackhole just outside the school.
³Oh yeah the school dance is today,² said Kiki who suddenly remembered
that
she had never danced in her life, ³Oh no what am I going to do, I can¹t

dance at all!²
She quickly looked around the street for someone to teach her how to
dance
quick.
³There¹s a soul who might know,² said Kiki noticing Maiyuki across the
road.
Kiki teleported next to her.
³Hey Maiyuki could y.....²
Kiki looked at her, she had her eyes closed and was walking slowly.
³Oh, she¹s sleepwalking. Errr Maiyuki, Mai darling, it¹s morning,² she
said
lightly tapping her on the shoulder.
Maiyuki eyes flicked open with an evil glint in them.
³Scary!² gasped Kiki.
Maiyuki just grumbled, looking straight though Kiki ,as a ball of light

appeared in her hand.
³Whoa,² Kiki quickly teleported out of the way as a laser blasted
across the
street, ³She trying to kill me? No, it can¹t be. It must be because she
woke
up bad.²
Another laser zapped across towards Kiki, she didn¹t have time to
teleport
out of the way but as a reflex action she brought up her personal
shield.
The laser hit it absorbing most of the shock but it still sent Kiki
flying
against a wall.
³Ouch. She got the same kind of laser attacks as I do, but hers are
much
stronger. Must be her temper.²
Kiki slowly got off the floor using the wall as balance, to see Maiyuki
a
few feet away with another laser blast charging up.
³It¹s to early for this,² whispered Kiki.

175. At lunch, Teri sat, reading a Maison Ikkoku graphic novel. One of
the ones where a misunderstanding and failing to listen causes major
problems (in other words, any and all of these graphic novels apply).
It was the day of the dance, and she felt she was in the position of
the one who hadn't listened. Apologising wouldn't work, so she decided
to beat Ibuki at her own game.

AFTER SCHOOL

Teri sped home in her Jeep, and put on the black dress she had bought
in hopes of going with Kiburi-san. Over it, she donned a mil-issue
Trench coat, and olive drab pants which came out the bottom, so it
appeared normal (for her).

Upon her arrival at Victoria's Secret, Teri picked a couple of items
comparable to what Ibuki had used, and went into the changing room.
She tried on the items, and put the dress on over them, and walked into
the center of the store, leaving her stuff in the changing room.

She found Kiburi-san in a corner, hidden from the rest of the store by
a tall row of racks of panties. "How's this for tonight?" she asked,
playing innocent to the Ibuki thing, as if it had never happened.

"Well, uh..." he said, not sure what to make of it, though his facial
expression showed good signs, at least towards her appearance.

"Oh, and before I forget, Is this ok?" she asked, with a slight smile,
as she unzipped her dress and let it fall.

176. "SQEEEAAKK!", went the jar as Sally walked to the school with the jar
under
his arms. He'd been trying since he'd started walking to school.
"Stupid slippery jar. Open!", he said his hands slipping and unable to
get a
grip. Looking around he spotted quite a few other students doing the
same or
wearing really ridiculous lingerie over their normal clothes and trying
to
put on makeup. Apparently, it was an epidemic. Simulataneously, they
all
changed gender.
"Too bad there isn't a synchronized sickness competition...", sally
muttered, when he just narrowly avoided a blast of energy from... a
sleep
walker. "This could be a good distraction for the moment", Sally
squeaked in
a cute voice. Taking the pickle jar like a bowling ball, he rolled it
under
Mai's foot and watched as she slipped on it and it flew out from under
her,
crashing into a wall and shattering. Mai fell over and got up swearing.
"Cripes, that was my last pickle jar too.", Sally whined. Sally took a
fighting stance and hoped for a decent fight.

177. Dr. Nguyen watched dispassionately as the ambulance
pulled up to the raised concrete loading bay, its red
and white strobes flashing. The practice, he mused,
was never as interesting as ER. Instead of the doors
slamming open and adrenaline-pumped paramedics rushing
out with a stretcher, with a patient invariably
gushing blood, this rarely happened in Oshiba. This
time, the doors were sedately opened by a pair of
bored-looking paramedics, who in turn sedately wheeled
a stretcher onto the landing dock, which contained a
teenager who seemed to be in perfect health. The only
thing approaching hysterics was the driver, who was
screaming as a small, slightly dented robot tried to
grope her.

"I'll take it from here," Dr. Nguyen said, leaning
over the prone unconscious form as it was wheeled into
the hospital.

"I'd say it looks like some sort of severe shock," he
continued, pulling one of Kiburi-san's eyelids open
and shining a penlight into the pupil. "Any idea what
could have caused this?"

"I'm not exactly sure," the shorter of the paramedics
said. "It must have been something quite shocking."

"Well, what could it-"

Dr. Nguyen paused as a girl walked into the ward,
wearing a large olive-drab trenchcoat. Unfortunately,
one of the buttons became hooked on the doorknob, and
it fell open.

Kiburi-san woke up to see Teri standing over him, and
a number of hospital personnel lying unconscious on
the floor.

"You know, Teri, it really isn't necessary to
incapacitate all of them. I wasn't being kidnapped,
you know." And then, as an afterthought: "And you
might want to consder returning that particualr
lingerie. It's a bit, uh, well, it um, channels your
feminie charms in, ah, rather a, um, stunning way..."

Montresor hovered in, even more dented than before,
and spurting a black fluid from the top of it.

"Lousy nurse. Just barely fondle her, and she takes a
50cc syringe and jams it through my main oil line! I
bet you had a bunch of hot nurse babes or something
hovering over you."

Then, noticing Teri, Montresor darted under the
trenchcoat before either Teri or Kiburi-san could stop
him. There was a short sound like electrical circuits
overloading, and Montresor collapsed to the floor.

"Now I can die happy..." Montresor said peacefully
before passing out.

"Well, I guess we'd better get ready for the dance..."
Kiburi-san began.

"Uh, don't we have to finish school first?"

"Right. Hold on to me." There was a sudden burst of
light and sound, and the two found themselves back in
their desks at Oshiba High.

"I did it! I finally teleported without messing up
the clothing!" Kiburi said exultantly, then realized
that there was something awfully constricting around
his chest.

"Well, almost," he said, looking down.

"Uh, you still have your panties, right, Teri?"

178. Despite the noises of the explotions set off by Mai energy blasts
she
still remains asleep. But with the still movements of the small crowd
caught
in the middle of the disaster allows Mai's attacks to slow down to
almost
none she now just stands in the middle of the street with her head
flopped
backwards as she snores and a small drip of droll slips from her mouth.

Car soon zooms by honking its honk to try and get Mai to move but with
a
burst of light from Mai's hand the car turns into a squealing pig with
the
driver still sitting on top of it.

179. ³Thanks,² said Kiki, coming into focus, as she teleported next to
Sally.
³Whaaa, where did you come from?² squeaked Sally.
³Look out,² said Kiki calmly.
Sally shifted to the left as a blast from Maiyuki shot over.
Sally got back into fighting stance; ³What¹s wrong with her?²
³I think she¹s still half asleep, she attacks anyone in range. She was
after
me until a different student walked past then ran in here,² explained
Kiki.
³And now she¹s after me?²
³Looks that way.²
³What should we do?² asked Sally.
³Duck.²
Sally ducked another laser.
³Stop being so calm!²
³I¹ve got an idea, we have to properly wake her up.²
³How?²
Kiki replied by opening a small blackhole and taking outŠŠ ³An alarm
clock,
of course!²
Kiki quickly set the alarm to go off in five seconds as Mai was closing
in.
Sally and Kiki were now trapped against a wall. Five seconds pasted
andŠŠ
nothing.
Sally gave a concerned look to Kiki; ³Isn¹t that thing supposed to go
off
and save us?²
³What¹s wrong with this thing?!² yelled Kiki. She checked the back of
the
clock; ³Haa ha no batteries.²
Sally gulped trying to think of a plan.
Kiki had a few things on her mindŠ
1) I still can¹t dance,
2) When I brought the alarm clock back on Sockomi why didn¹t I put
batteries
in it?
3) How do Sally and I get out of this mess coz I¹m too tried to keep
teleporting around,
4) If I live through this I need to go buy a dress for the dance.

180. Paranoidly, Teri droned through the class, waiting for the bell to
ring. Lunch would start, and she could run back to Victoria's Secret
and get her clothes. All she had had time for was grabbing the Trench
coat really quickly. Going around in a trench coat and underwear
didn't seem to be a good idea. She hoped someone had hung the dress
up, though.

At lunch, she jumped in her Jeep with Kiburi, and headed down. He went
in the back of the store and retrieved the dress, while she made sure
she had left enough cash to pay for her purchase. Upon getting the
dress back, she went into a changing room, and cracked the door. "Uh,
Kiburi?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"Could you help me for a second?"

Thoughts ran through the guy's head. "Uh, ok..." he entered the
confined changing area. She was still in the trench coat.

"There seems to be a problem...the closure of my trench coat seems to
have fused over the past half an hour."

"I guess I didn't have the clothes part of the spell quite right after
all.

181. Ryo heard the unmistable cry of two young Ladys in trouble! "Korea!
There
are two young Ladys in Trouble! We have to move quickly!"

Korea flew around him once saying "Didn't the narrator Just say that?"

"It doesn't matter little Friend, Let us go now!" He said herocially,
casting a teleport spell to the source of the cry's.

When the Dust cleared, he heard oinking, lots of it.He looked around
and saw
the sleeping maiyuki turning people into pigs. As well as his escort
for the
evening next to another young lady who were narrowly dodging the
blasts.

"YOU GOTTA WAKE HER UP RYO!" Kiki screamed!

"It maight be the only way!" Sally said!

"Hmmm, this looks like a job for a Coffee spell!" RYo exclaimed.

"Good thinking master! I'll go fetch the beans!" Korea said as she flew
off
at lighting speeds, coming back a few seconds later with coffee
grounds.

Ryo in the mean time put up a ForceField to deflect the Transforming
blasts.

"I got the beans Master!" Korea said.

"Good job chum, now hand them here!" Ryo said heroically.

Korea flew over holding a bag of Coffe beans much larger then her, she
tossed them down into his hands. "There you Go Ryo!" she said.

"CAPPUCIOUNUS EXPRESO!" he invoked with his mighty voice.

The bag began to glow a mystical purple and he tosses it at maiyuki.It
landed near her feet and exploded!!!

"What is that suppose to do Ryo!?" Kiki asked.

"Well you see fair maiden, By charging the beans with mystical energy,
I
caused them to explode, sending the resdiual Caffeine into the air.
Anyone
cought in the blast would have their skin saturated with the caffeine."
He
said

"Yeah, but won't that make her extremely Hyper?" Sally asked.

"Goodness I did not think of that warrior woman" Ryo replied."Oh well,
I bet
she'll be much nicer when she's awake. Now to start turning these pigs
back
into people!" He then turned away from them going about returning
people to
their rightful forms.

182. The bathroom door creaked open, and Teri's eye and
hand appeared around the crack.

"Is anybody coming?" she whispered."

"No. Here it is." Kiburi-san slipped the bra out from
under his jacket and quickly passed it to Teri, who
retreated back into the bathroom.

Walking back to class, Kiburi-san realized that it was
business as usual. The teacher was going insane
trying to teach JSL, and Tetsuya was hovering around
the back of the classroom looking bored. Kiburi-san
wondered why he hadn't posted lately, but not all that
much. Montresor was ogling some of the girls, who
were in turn attacking him with riot batons. They
were obviously used to this.

In the front, Ryu was... saving people? and helping
them? Kiburi-san was suddenly confused. Intrigued,
he approached him.

"Uh hey Ryu, how come you're being nice to everyone?"

"I'm not Ryu, I'm Ryo, his good twin!"

"Okay. It's not like that's all that strange at this
school. Got a date for the dance yet?"

"Yeah."

"Well, have fun. One word of warning: don't look
directly at the stage. The laser light show is
sometimes a bit intense."

"Laser light show?"

"Yeah. I'm in charge of it until I graduate."

"What then?"

"That's when the phased ban against laser light shows
comes into play."

"Why is there a ban against laser light shows?"

"You haven't seen it yet."

Ryo looked over at Montresor.

"Is that your robot?"

"Uh, well, he hangs around me, if that's what you
mean."

Montresor zoomed by, with a pack of enraged girls on
his heels.

"I, uh, really don't have too much to do with it.
Really. Especially that lecherous part."

Just then Teri walked back into the room, as the bell
finally rang.

"Well, that's it for today," Kiburi-san said, and left
to prepare for the dance.

183. Kiki had now zipped over to Pizza Stop in the mall to pick up some
advanced pay, leaving poor Sally with the hyper Maiyuki. Next she ran
over
to Victoria¹s Secret to get a dress for the dance. She found a lovely
yellow
dress (bit like the one at the intro credits of ŒSlayers TV¹) and went
to
try it on. She pulled open a changing room door and found Kiburi-San
and
Teri in there, together, alone. Kiburi-San blushed being caught trying
to
undo Teri¹s trenchcoat.
³Sorry,² was all Kiki blurted out, closing the door. Kiki threw the
correct
amount of money on the counter and ran out of the store with her new
dress.
When she was some way away Kiki sniffed and started talking to herself;
³So
there you go, he¹s got a girlfriend already.² Kiki opened a blackhole
to get
ready for the dance.

184. Kiburi-san was unable to find a suitable welding
torch in the back room of Victoria's Secret.

"Well, I have no idea how to open it."

185. Kiburi-san finally managed to cut the trenchcoat
loose with a pair of fabirc scissors he had found in
the back.

"Why are you averting your eyes?" Teri asked.

"Remember what happened last time?"

"Oh. Well, how much are they, anyway?"

"You're not seriously thinking of buying them?"

Just then, Kiburi-san heard an odd sound, like nothing
he'd ever heard before. Curious, he went back into
the main store, where a small, old japanese man was
trying to fry Montresor on a portable hibachi. The
man was covered in lingerie from montresor's gun, and
from the appearance of it, Montresor was trying to
load another clip.

"Excuse me, sir, can I help you?"

"This isn't the make-your-own-meal buffet, is it?"

"Uh, no, this is Victoria's Secret, home of the
infamous CBB. Why?"

"Then what's this I'm grilling up here?"

"That's my robot, Montresor."

"Hmm. I thought it looked too shiny for a whole
chicken." The man tipped Montresor out of the grill,
and Montresor sprang up and fired his secondary
weapon, sending the lingerie racks flying.

"Well, I'll just be going along now." The man packed
up the hibachi and walked off.

"What a wacko!" Montresor shouted after him.

Teri returned, now in her dress.

"So, shall we go?"

"Um, what about getting dinner first?" Kiburi-san
asked.

186. A small sub-space blackhole appeared further on in the mall and
Lapin
jumped out. The temporal rip then opened wider and Kiki walked out with
her
new yellow dress on.
Kiki looked to Lapin; ³Let¹s go back to the school, Ryo will be
waiting.²
Lapin shuffled after her.

187. After hours spent blasting passers by while sleep walking Maiyuki
arrives
just outside a temple just as someone rings to send their prayers to
the
sprits. The sound of the bell wakens her and she stands for a little
while
puzzled as to how she got there.

A police officer dashed up to try and capture Mai but in her puzzlement
to
find where she is she flies up out of the officers reach.

Officer: "Hold it right there miss. Do you realize what you just did."

Mai: "Umm No."

Officer: "Well take a look."

The streets are littered with a wide variety of animals running along
the
streets.

Officer: "We been trying to stop your rampage for two whole days."

Mai: "Really. Oh No."

Officer: "Yes and if you'll please come with me to the station."

Mai: "I'm going to be late sorry I can't stay officer."

Officer: "huh. Hey wait just one minute. Hey Come Back Here."

Maiyuki flies off into the fading sun. She soon stops on the roof of a
house.

Mai: "Hold it. I forgot I don't have a dress! Oh well guess I'll have
to do
the next best thing."

Light gathers into Maiyuki's hands as she chants a weird spell to
herself.
Magically her outfit changes into a long strapless dress in light blue
and
pink satan.

Mai: "And now for my date."

Maiyuki looks around and finds a houseplant. Casting her Transform
spell
again. The House plant turns into a handsome buff young man with long
green
hair.

Mai: "Well Then he looks good but tell about your self."

The Plant man replies in really slow words.

Plantman: "Me good. Me Like Date."

Maiyuki Face Faults

Mai: "Well Brains aren't always that important."

188. iburi-san was walking off to his flying saucer,
with teri in tow, when he was suddenly confronted by a
large group of rent-a-cops.

"Excuse me, but do you have a robot named Montresor?"
the lead cop asked.

"Um, yeah... why?"

"He stole around 300 dollars worth of porn videos from
the Motion Picture Company. We're here to take him
into custody."

"I don't think so, donut-boy!" Montresor yelled,
firing his primary weapon. A large brasiere bounced
off the cop's face and fell to the floor.

"Are you resisting arrest?" the cop asked confusedly.

Kiburi-san began sneaking his interdimensional library
card from his pocket. He quickly activated it, and a
book entitled "Early French Erotica" dropped into his
hands. Holding it up in front of the guard's face, he
flipped it open to a random page. The guard's eyes
bugged out to aboutan inch past their sockets, and he
collapsed into a happy daze, drooling slightly.

"Okay, let's get outta here," Kiburi-san said, leading
the way to the flying saucer.

As usual, the hatch wouldn't open.

189. After the Maiyuki situation fizzled out, Sally went to class wondering
what
he should do. with a dance going on, he wanted somebody to go with.
Getting
some books from the locker, Sally contemplated what his sexual
orientation
[Due to sensitive content, this part of the letter has been deleted for
the
safety of
others--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------].

But if he is the eggman, and he is the walrus, where does that leave me
in
the cornflake of life?, Sally pondered.
Sally finally reached class and decided that he would go alone and
dance
with whoever asked her. Taking out a pen, Sally began to write into his
note
book, titled 'The Karmic Superiority of Women', about the sexual
tenants
that should be upheld.

190. The hatch did finally open, after a small ammount
of worrying it with a crowbar, and Kiburi-san sat down
in the plush driver's seat.

Wait a minute... since when was the driver's seat
plush?

After a few minutes of taking a squeegee to the thick
layer of green mold that had coagulated on the seats,
Kiburi-san and Teri set off. After only a few minor
crashes, they arrived back at Oshiba High.

"Why are we coming here so soon?" Teri wondered.

"Well, if you read the description of Oshiba High,
this is the only place of note to eat."

"The school cafeteria?"

"No, the Third Reich Decadent Coffe Shop. It's either
that or the mall food court, and that doesn't have
much ambience."

"What about specularity?" asked Montresor.

"We're talking about atmosphere, not raytracing.
Anyway, this is pretty much it until someone starts a
new restaurant."

Teri sighed in resignation. "Oh well, let's go eat."

A few minutes later, they were seated at the coffee
shop. A mischevious-looking student walked up with
two menus.

"Wow, you're a cute babe!" he said to Teri. "Can I
have your name and phone number?"

Kiburi-san looked at the menu as a girl clad in a
tiger-striped bikini shocked the bajeezus out of the
student.

"I'll get a chicken-fried steak," Kiburi-san said to
the unconscious waiter, who was now slumped on the
floor.

"And what will you have, miss?" The girl said, picking
up the order pad from where it had fallen from the
floor.

Montresor began to eye the girl with an evil glint in
his visual sensors.

191. Ryo looked at himself in the mirror, Truth be told he did look better
then
his twin Ryu. The fact was that Ryo actully cared about his body and
took
care of it unlike Ryu.Ryo was dressed in a Black Tuxedo for the
dance.It was
a corporate looking type and made him look great.

He then began using magick to track Kiki's postion in Astral space.
Conjuring up the Kami around the area he cast the spell and teleported
to
where she was.He looked her over seeing that she looked great and asked

"Well, when would you like to go?"

Mean while the Dance had been set up. There were Banners and Streamers
and
the punch bowls and the chaporones all in their strategic postions. A
couple
of "Undercover" Aco's sat around meancingly. The Banners were for the
Homecoming of the Oshiba Tigers. The students began to File in.

192. Kiburi-san walked into the dance with Teri
following slightly behind him. His tuxedo was smoking
slightly, and evey so often a few arcs of electricity
wouls spark across his fingertips. Montresor followed
behind, hovering erratically and spitting blue sparks.

Kiburi-san's eyes floated blurrily around the room
until they fell of the face of the dance coordinator,
who grabbed him by the arm.

"You were supposed to be here an hour ago! No one else
here knows how to start up the sound system!"

"Th's cz I n'stalled it," Kiburi-san mumbled, his
mouth flashing blue as residual electricity crackled
around in it.

The dance coordinator looked startled.

"What'd you do, jam your fingers into a 220-volt
outlet?"

"Mih't 's well 'ave."

"Well, after you fix this up, you can go to the
nurse's office."

"Na' s' k'ay. I g'na be fine."

Kiburi-san connected a pair of wires on the sound
system. Alound blast from the speakers caused
everyone to dive to the floor with their hands over
their ears.

"Oops, r'ng cir'kit. L'see, try th's one."

The rock music began to play at a reasonable level.
Kiburi-san walked back to Teri, the sparks and the
stupor fading slowly away.

"Um... so, d'ya wanna dance?" Montresor asked one of
the girls, who promptly threw her glass of punch at
it.

193. Kiki and Ryo entered the high school and walked towards the large hall
where
the dance was just starting. Kiki was arm in arm with Ryo but then she
stopped before they went in.
"Err, Ryo could you wait for me please, I have to go..... to the little

girl's room."
"Alright I shall await your return."
Lapin stayed with Ryo as Kiki went into the girl's bathrooms and looked
in
the mirror; "I still can't dance, what I'm I going to do!"
She then thought about other things, she was still unsure about Ryo.
"He's too good to be true, and I really want to know about this (T) of
power, my laptop knows nothing about it."
Kiki opened a blackhole and took out a very small bottle of orange
liquid.
"So I'll use this truth potion in the punch!" She put it inbetween her
breasts since she had no pockets on her dress and walked out.

194. As Kiburi-san tried to dance inconspicuously with
Teri, the room echoed with the screams of girls being
groped by Montresor. Finally, Kiburi-san couldn't
stand it anymore. He surreptitiously pulled a remote
from his pocket and pressed a few buttons. Montresor
made a lot of high-pitched noises and collapsed to the
floor, its motor controls deactivated.

Montresor watched as Korea flew by.

"Maybe I oughta just give up and change my name to
Vietnam or something," it grumbled.

Kiburi-san continued his attempts at dancing. After
the third dance, with Teri becoming slightly annoyed
at him, he began to realize that dancing involved
something more than merely shuffling your feet around
and acting like you knwo what you're doing.

"I, um, have to use the bathroom," Kiburi-san said,
hastily excusing himself from the dance.

A few minutes later, the janitor, hearing a series of
loud thumps coming from the gym, discovered Kiburi-san
in the middle of a hurried session of training, amidst
a number of dents in the wood of the gym floor.

195. Sally arrives wearing a really bad dress with neon colors and enough
make-up
to cover an army of mimes. Looking around the room she saw various
people
dancing. She finally spotted the two most important things at the
dance: the
bleachers to sit at for wallflowering and the food. Sally quickly
gravitated
towards the punch bowls, when she realized that the tight dress and
feminine
identity made it impossible to eat to much. Getting a few measly nachos
and
some punch, Sally sat down at the bleachers and safely shifted gender.
"It's a good thing this bra has so much starch that its stiff as a
board or
it might look odd.", Sally whispered to himself. Sipping the punch, he
nearly spit it out when he saw a salad man and that sleeping maniac
Maiyuki.
Then he saw Ryo and Kiburi playing with wires.
"Something tells me that this is a dangerous situation... oh well! I'll

worry about whatever it is when it happens. Hmmm, now lets see... who
would
be willing to dance with me...", he said when he spotted the half
man/half
woman hall monitor. " Hey this is kind of perfect in an akward sort of
way",
Sally squeaked as he went off and tried to get a dance.

196. A while later, the doors to the dance burst open,
and Kiburi-san walked back with a confident smile on
his face.

he thought.

So, feeling confident that he wouldn't make a fool of
himself, he strode over to teri and waited for the
next dance.

"Okay, everybody!" the DJ said. "Next, we're going to
do the Electric Slide!"

Kiburi-san began to panic.

Fortunately for him, the sound system chose precisely
that moment for its traditional explosion in a shower
of sparks.

197. Maiyuki flies down to the doorway leading to the dance her plantman
date
flutting behind her.

"The Party can begin now that I Maiyuki have arived."

I the crowed ether to deaf from the loud music or just cause they are
ignoring her from her past problems with them goes on dancing while
Mai's ego
deflats.

"Fine then carry on."

Mai goes out to grab her dates arm only to grab a srub insteed. She
takes a
look around and spies that Plantman has taken root in the punch bowl
and is
talking with a ficus. A couple of the free girls notice Plantman and
fight
over who gets the chance to ask him to dance. Mai on the other hand
look
fureous as she was just stood up by a house plant.

"That's the absolute last time I use a Dendrite for brains as a date. I

swear. This whole thing makes me sick."

In one last flow of anger Maiyuki shouts.

"MEN."

198. Kiki came out of the bathroom and met Ryo.
³I¹m sorry, I was so long,² she apologised.
³That¹s alright,² said Ryo, ³shall we go in.²
³Please.²
She wasn¹t aware that Lapin had hopped off after Korea.
They walked into the hall arm in arm. Kiburi-San was still trying to
fix the
exploding speakers and Teri didn¹t look very impressed.
³Shall we dance?² asked Ryo as the DJ started another track.
³Alright,² said Kiki in a slightly alarmed voice.
They started to dance but with every two moves Kiki stepped on Ryo¹s
toes or
nearly tripped him or herself over.
³I¹m sorry, I¹ve never danced before.²
³I think you dance quite good,² he said. She accidentally stood on his
foot
again, ³maybe we should have a little rest.²
³That might be a good idea,² said Kiki turning red from embarrassment.
They sat down on some chairs near the food table. Kiki eyed the punch
bowl,
she wasn¹t sure if she should do it. She was starting to like Ryo, but
as a
girl who wants to know everything she decided to do it.
Kiki suddenly pointed her finger across the room at the wall; ³What¹s
that!²
Ryo fell for it and turned around. She quickly pulled out the small
bottle
of truth potion from her front, poured it in with the punch and hid the

bottle again. Ryo turned back round; ³I don¹t see anything.²
³Oh, it was nothing. It must have been a trick of the disco lights,²
Ryo
seemed to except it, ³anyway do you want some punch Ryo?²
³Don¹t mind if I do,² Ryo poured himself out some punch, ³you not
having
any?²
³No, I¹m not thirsty, thanks.²
Ryo picked the cup upŠ

199. Ryo drank his punch with the Truth serum in it, completely unaware of
the
affect it had on his body."So Ryo, um what did you think of my
Dancing?"
Kiki asked testing the waters.

"Ah, well you certainly need to work on learning to dance, but with
time I
think you'll get it" He awnsered thruthfully. Ryo awnsered.

Then Kiki thought of a Good question to ask. "What's my Most atractive
feature" She asked still testing the Truth serum.

"Ah, that would be the size and shape of your perfect Breasts" Ryo
said,
unaware that he was saying this due to the Truth serum.

Now Kiki knew the Thruth formula had worked on him.

Meanwhile Korea, flew toaward the Trophy case and found it, the
mysterious
(T) of power. It was one of the letters in the Gold inlaid Oshiba
Tigers
Football Trophy. Taking out alittle Theives kit, she quickly removed
the (T)
of power and stuffed it into her purse and prepared to fly back to Ryo.

Ryu whateley 11th Grade, Hell.
Ryu ran faster through hell, his brother had been clever setting up the
time
delay spell on Ryu's dimensional teleport.He now had to hoof it through
hell
and back to the Oshiba Dance. He had to stop his Good twin before it
was to
late, and maybe even try to steal his Girl.

200. Kiki was just about to stand up and slap Ryo when she remembered he
was
under the influence of the serum, and probably wouldn¹t have said
something
slightly rude like that if he wasn¹t. So she took it as a complement.
³Well,² said Kiki blushing slightly and looking down on herself, ³youŠ
you
think they¹re prefect?²
³Yes,² nodded Ryo.
Kiki started giggling to herself. (Some people back on Sockomi said she
was
as stacked as Lina Inverse.)
³You¹re so nice,² smiled Kiki.
³Hey Ryo,² said Kiki getting ready to ask another question.
³Yes?²
³Do you think I¹m the best genius in the universe?²
³Of course, I can tell, you¹re just not that famous.²
ŒVictory!¹ thought Kiki; ŒI don¹t know why I thought he could have been

bad.¹
Kiki was now ready for THE question; ³Ryo darling, I¹m just wondering,
what¹s this (T) thingy of power and why do you want it?²
Ryo was just about to answer but a few things stopped him. The first
was
Kiki¹s hyper-dimensional mini laptop phasing into thin-air in front of
her.
³Hold that thought,² said Kiki to Ryo. She tapped a few keys and the
screen
flickered.
She talked to herself while she tried to find out why it appeared; ³I
set
this thing so it would only turn up if something weird happened. What¹s
up?²
The laptop showed that some strange factors where going off. One of
them
being that someone was trying to dimensionally teleport from Hell and
the
other a power source was moving closer towards the dance hall.
From the hall¹s entrance Korea flew in followed by Lapin meanwhile Ryu
had
finally made it back to the land of the living.
He was crawling on the front steps to Oshiba High School panting.

201. "And just why did you hook up the sound system to
an unstable fusion generator?" The teacher in charge
of the dance asked with an intonation of annoyance.

"Well, it was the only thing I had on hand, and these
kids like it loud, right?"

"Yes, but this is grossly irresponsible! What if a
thing like that were to destabilize and explode?"

"Don't worry. That would only happen if someone
suggested it. You see, it's a Psychic fusion
something-or-other. If everyone thinks that it's
working, then it does. But if you don't..."

The fusion generator began to make disturbing bubbling
noises.

"I'd suggest thinking calm thoughs right about now,"
Kiburi-san said. As the teacher tried rather
unsuccessfully to meditate, Kiburi-san went over to
the refreshment table for a nice cool glass of punch.
It had the usual chemical aftertaste of the fare at
most school-sponsored events.

"Would you like to dance some more?" Teri asked.

"No, I'd actually like to leave before that teacher
over there figures out how I suckered her into
silence. When she realizes that the generator isn't
really psychic, I'm going to be in big trouble."

"Hmm... okay," Teri said.

They had both made it to the door when Montresor, fed
up with emphatic refusals to dance, flew into the
speaker system and exploded in a shower of sparks.

202. Ryu Gasped as he came out of hell and clawed his way up to his Feet.His

clothes were shredded and he had sweat coming down his face.

He walked into the dance Taiwan at his side and went toward Ryo.

Ryo whateley

Ryo was Just about to say everything on the (T) of power when Kiki
stopped
him and said that there was someone from Hell trying to get in.

Ryo's eyes narrowed, and having sipped the Truth Formula he didn't hide
any
spite. "Oh, That's Just my Evil Twin Ryu, He's here to stop me from
Getting
the (T) of power so I can spread Good across the world. It will stop
his
Evil Machinist if I use it. So I put up a counter delay spell on his
Hell
teleporting and he had to run all the way here, the persistant Bastard"

Ryo got up, but first bowed politely to Kiki "Please excuse me, I have
to Go
Send my Brother Back to Hell now" he said walking toward his brother
Ryu.

Ryu: SO it's finaly come to this has it, you've finaly found the (T) of

power.

Ryo:Yes, and I won't let you stop me Either Oh Evil Brother of Mine who
I
secretly do Care for and wish you weren't a bad apple and that we could
get
along and do things that Brothers should do together, Like play
Frisbee.

Ryu looked Strangely at Ryo "What's up with you?" He asked.

Ryo responded "What do you mean what's up with me? Why nothing at all,
I
feel fine and well, yet sad That I'am going to have to battle my own
twin
because of his Evil inside of him"

Ryu:Your the Evil one! No one relises it! Im the True Good Twin and
Your the
Evil Twin!

Ryo:Are not!

Ryu:Are To!

Ryo:Are Not!

Ryu: Are To!

This went on for around 3 mintues until there eyes met and the first
spell
was Slung.

"Forces of Darkness come to my Aid, Smite my Foe with a Fragment
Grenade!!"
Ryu said chanting as a Greande materilised right in front of Ryo Who
looking
very scared quickly chanted.

"Forces above I My opponet will not yeild, please protect my and my
Friends
with a Impentrable Shield!"

A ForceField shot around everyone in the Dance hall, protecting them
from
the blast of the Grenade, except for the Teacher who stood charred with

ripped clothing, fell over Bonked.

Ryu and Ryo stood facing eachother again, Growling to eachother.

203. Ryu mumbled something then snapped his fingers, making all the
force
fields shatter.
Kiki ran in-between the two brothers; ³Stop this fighting at once.²
³Quickly get behind me, he¹s evil,² said Ryo.
³Kiki, he¹s lying, he¹s the evil twin, come here,² said Ryu.
³If he¹s evil why has he been helping us and anyway he can¹t lie, (not
unless he doesn¹t know it himself,)² said Kiki.
³What do ya mean? Why can¹t he lie?² asked Ryu.
³ErrrŠ IŠ never mind that, just stop fighting.²
³It¹s too late, it¹s gone to far. It must be finished here,² yelled Ryu

crating a fireball in his hand.
³Alright then!² said Ryo crating an ice-ball in his hand.
Kiki turned to Kiburi-San; ³Kiburi-San do something!²
In the background the sound system exploded again.

204. Kiburi-san was attempting to make good on his
retreat from the angry teacher when a grenade exploded
behind him. Instantly dropping, Kiburi-san reached
for his trusty pistol, and remembered that it hadn't
been there for months. Instead, he discovered a small
penlight, and, curiously enough, a popcorn grenade.
Kiburi-san couldn't remember where he had found the
thing, but it was the only weapon he had at the
moment.

Crawling slowly back towards the grenade detonation
site, he heard Kiki scream for help. Temporarily
forgetting about stealth, Kiburi-san broke into a run,
holding the grenade in front of him.

At the netrance to the dance, Kiburi-san noticed that
Ryu and his twin Ryo were fighting over something, and
Kiki was cowering behind Ryo in fear.

However, in the distance, he could see the teacher,
clothing completely shredded, charging angrily at him.
Kiburi-san's instincts took over, and he threw the
grenade at the teacher.

The room suddenly filled itself with popcorn from
floor to ceiling in a paisley flash, and everyone was
ejected through the front doors of the gym into the
parking lot.

205. Ibuki Hiroshi walked over to Kiburi-san, half-drained cup of punch
in her hand. She looked royally pissed.

"Why didn't you pick me up? You're a lousy date!" she said, throwing
the punch in his face, managing to get the majority of it in his mouth.
Ibuki stormed off.

"What the hell was that all about?" he said quietly, after swallowing
what had gone into his mouth. "this punch is actually pretty good."

"She's the one you were going to come here with, remember? at work?"
teri tried to clarify.

"Uh...not really...you look really great tonight," he said without a
hint of shyness. "Want some punch?" h asked, while getting himself a
cup.

"I guess so, sure." Teri answered, taking a cup. Just as they were
about to drink, Kiki yelled, "Kiburi-San!" in a 'there's danger' voice.

206. The punch bowl and sound system had been moved outside too.
³Stop drinking punch with Teri and playing in the popcorn and help stop

these two fighting!!!² yelled Kiki, who was now sat on the parking lot
floor
covered in popcorn.
Ryu and Ryo where still standing, staring each other out.
It seemed that Tetsuya, Taiwan, Sally, Maiyuki, Lapin and everyone else
who
was at the dance were sat on some outside benches watching the fight
and
eating popcorn; ³Better than WWF,² said Montresor who was still a
little
beat up after crashing in the sound system.
Teri and Kiburi-san stepped forward.
³Back off you two! This is between me and Ryo,² warned Ryu.

207. Maiyuki decides now is a good time to turn profit.

"Okay folks place your bets place your bet who will win the macth. Bets
start
at 5 dollars and with each bet you get free popcorn"

The group looks at Mai a bit strange since the popcorn is all ready
free but
still a small collection of students start to place there bets on Ryu
or Ryo.
A small grin hits Mai's face as she realizes that no matter who wins
she will
end up on top.

208. Sally was watching the fight(they were still just charging up their
respective blasts) and munching popcorn, when she heard Maiyuki taking
bets
for people. Taking a look at the combatants, and having fought with one
of
them, she knew who the more competent combatant was. Walking up with a
fist
full of money, Sally states," My bet is on Taiwan!". Sally was pretty
sure
she knew how this fight would go. they would duel(screwing up on their
original blasts) and fight at a stand stil until someone whipped out
with
advanced firepower.

209. A snappy looking SUV drives nearer to the school, showing in the
passenger seat a young lady seemingly more suited for life in the
sixties or seventies. Her hair is long and straight, falling beyond
her
small white tank top. The car drives slowly into a park, revealing
the
driver as a middle-aged professional man.

The girl slips out of the car, not looking back towards the man. "Have
a nice time, honey," the man calls out, smiling widely at her. She
stops, then steps away and closes the door. The man slowly drives
away,
leaving the girl at the front of the school. She sighs, and walks
towards the gym, bellbottoms flapping in the wind.

210. Their Fight was at a Stand still. Both Combatants had not even
injured
eachother at all.

The area around them was a Diffrent Story. RYo sat Panting With Korea
circling around him.

Across from him Ryu sat Panting with Taiwan bouncing around him.

The parking lot was trashed. Every single vechile in it had been turned
into
Flaming Wreckage or worse. The Aco's had driven by, stopped looked.
Found
out Magic was the source and not Alien power, decided it wasn't there
juristiction, and drove back on.\

Then Ryu Spoke. "Alright, The kid Gloves are off! TAIWAN ATTACK!!!!"

With That Taiwan Jumped up into the air, a blast of black energy
swirled out
of him as he took his true form, that of a 9ft tall Skeletal
Abomination
with Six arms.Taiwan snarled meanly and looked at RYo.

Ryo Kept his cool turned to Korea, "Korea! Battle Maiden Form now!!!"
he
said.

The little pixie Korea flew up did a Magical Girl style twist in the
air,
complete with nude Transformation scene and became a 6ft tall well
proportioned Buxom Beutiful Magical Girl. Complete with white armour
and a
Big Sword.

The Two Sidekick's clashed. However it seemed that Taiwan had the Upper

hand, being a Large Skeletal Monster and made of Foam Rubber, made him
immune to Korea's sword swipes as they bounced off the material.

"HA! YOU HAVE LOST BROTHER GIVE UP!" Ryu yelled.

"I have it brother!" Ryo yelled to Ryu holding up a Glowing (T)!!

"NOOOOO! Not The (T) of power!" Ryu yelled as Ryo placed it on his own

chest.

There was a Hum of power and suddnely the word TWINK appeared around
RYo and
Faded away.

Ryu just shook his head and looked depressed.

"What's so Big about this (T) of power Ryu?" Kiburi asked.

Ryu sighed."My Brother is skilled in the Arts of White Magic just as
Iam
skilled in the arts of Black magic. However, we both harbor a terrible
secret. You see, while I claim to use Black magic, I also heavily rely
on....on.....on...neutral magic. Yes Iam not as evil as I claim to be."
Ryu
said and fell to his knees.

Then he continued. "But you see my Brother not only uses White magick
but
the Dreaded.........................Pink magic." Ryu said alarmed.

Ryo only responded with a nod of yes.

Ryu spoke again."You see, he will take out the (p) in pink magic making
Ink
magic. Then he will remove the (W) in White magic, then place it in
front of
the (I) in Ink magic, making it wink magic. Then he will take the (T)
of
power, place it in front of the wink and make the ultimate unbeatble
unstoppable form of magic......TWINK magic."

Suddenly a small professor spoke up out of nowhere. "Ahem, for those
who
don't know, a Twink is a power gamer, a God moder,somebody who abuses
the
Rules of a game or flat out breaks them to his advatage" With that the
Proffessor was Gone.

Ryo spoke up."Yes, now I have the power of the Twink!! But I will only
use
it to make the world a better place!" He said hppily.

Ryo sat down on the ground and sighed.."Now, there is only one person
who
can possibly stop him, thats if all of you are not seduced by his Honey

Tounged words.........."

211. "Magic? I hate magic!" Montresor grumbled.

"Well, you can stop moaning, 'cause either way we're
not going anywhere fast," Kiburi-san said, trying to
pry the massive chuink of masonry off of his legs.

"I just know those two are going to cause an
apocalypse or something," Montresor continued to moan
from under the principal's overturned Beemer.

"It's too bad the *()&#@()*&#$ ACOs stole all my
stuff, or I'd put a stop to this stupid fight!"
Kiburi-san said defiantly.

"That, and the fact that your legs are irrevocably
pinned."

"Yeah, well, that too."

"What about your zap gun?"

"Hey, now that's a thought! Nothing like random
gunfire to drive a crowd to panic!"

"So what if they panic?"

"I don't like having my face trampled."

Just then, a blue-coated rescue worker walked up to
Kiburi-san

"Don't worry, we'll have you fixed up in a jiffy!" he
said with an air of canned cheerfulness.

"Uh, okay."

Just then, a bright pink ray hit the man from behind.
He suddenly started dancing around idiotically with a
bright moronic smile on his face, trailing flowers
while overly cheerful music played in the background.

"And I thought hell was bad," Montresor muttered.

212. ³Hee hee I¹m going to win the bet,² grinned Sally. Suddenly Sally
was
holding pom-poms and singing; ³Taiwan, Taiwan, go Taiwan!²
³Hmmm, this is interesting, a TWINK hey?² said Kiki to herself. At this

point she had teleported next to Sally and Maiyuki.
³Aggh! Stop doing that! I thought you were over there,² yelped Sally.
Kiki looked towards the 9ft tall Taiwan and the magical girl Korea
fighting.
Then she looked down at Lapin, the small space rabbit, who was sucking
up
some popcorn off the floor like a vacuum cleaner. Kiki started wishing
Lapin
could do something as cool as the other students¹ sidekicks but he was
just
a rabbit.
She watched as Teri was trying to help Kiburi-san and spied his robot
trying
to get away from a rescue worker that was trying to kiss him.
³Get away from me you nut!² screamed Montresor.
ŒNow, wasn¹t I going to do tests on that robot and check it¹s memory?¹
thought Kiki. She started formulating a plan to Œborrow¹ Montresor.

213. Mai looks at her small pile of cash and a massive grin hits her
face.
"Looks like the bets are set. Now to make sure I win."

Mai takes off in the air to be floating just a feet out of reach of the

others. As she calls out to keep the sepcators in in thier seats.

"Plantman bind the twits to their seats as I make a little deposit to
my
account."

Suddenly huge vines fly out of the pile of popcorn and grab all the
other
people watching the fight. As Maiyuki flys off carring the bets placed
by the
students.

"I Said I wouldn't lose. HAAHHHHAHHHAHAA."

214. The mechanical bionic man sound plays as Sally springs into the air...
and
gets caught by a vine.
"You know, that really wasn't very nice....", Sally thought, just
barely
keeping herself in check. Changing back into a guy, Sally started
mumbling
to himself.
"keepcontrol,yournotangrydon'tdoanythingrashgrrrrrrAHHH!", Sally said,
ripping the vines from the crowd (with plantman attached)and started
spinning. He then threw him like an Olympic hammer at Maiyuki.

215. Ryo stood with his new found twink power. He heard Gambling being
mentioned
and Maiyuki running off with winnings....He knew Gambling was wrong. It
led
people to do terrible things. so he stated. "Gambling is not allowed in
my
new utopia" He snapped his FIngers, and all of the Money dissapeared
and
went back to it's rightful owners.

Ryu spoke up. "You see! He already has plans for World Domination! He's

already outlawing things!"

Ryo responded"Im not going to take over the world!.Im simply going to
change
the laws of reality to make it a safer happier place for all. so
there!"

Ryu looked at his brother then everyone else. "Your not going to let
him do
this are you?"

216. "How Dare you take my hard earned money You will pay dearly for
that"
Shouts Maiyuki as energy builds up around her.

"Um I ...I .. " screams Sallys

Maiyuki tosses a massive ball of energy at Sally and in a instand sally
is
turned into a litte salamander.

"All right who's next."

217. KIburi-san looked from ryu to ryo, then back to
Ryu again, then at the shining "T" of power in Ryo's
hand, and suddenly realized what he had to do. For
freedom, liberty, justice and all of that other
patriotic stuff that heroes always defended...

"Get 'im, Montresor!" Kiburi-san yelled.

"I'm tired. Why don't you get him?"

"Because I don't have any good weapons."

"What about your zap-gun?"

"I'm a pretty lousy shot, and he could probably block
it anyway. A situation like this needs you expertise
and... um... unique weaponry."

"Oh, fine." Montresor hovered over and pointed a
metal tube at Ryo. "This one, right?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Okay, here goes nothing." There was a blast of
compressed air, and a good portion of the inventory
from Victoria's Secret shot out and buried Ryo.

"You don't seriously think this is going to work, do
you?" Teri asked.

"No idea whatsoever," Kiburi-san replied, sitting back
and idly watching as Kiki began to power up some sort
of incredibly destructive something-or-other between
her hands.

218. Ryo, looked coldly over at Maiyuki."You are a harm to soceity, I cannot

allow you to exist in your current state in my utopia"

Maiyuki just looked pissed and responded. "Thats what you think Jerk!"
Firing her Transformation spell off at him. It hit, and did nothing.

Over to the side Ryu Laughed."Foolish Girl, me and my brother are far
supeior spell slingers then you, your magic spell wouldn't even do
anything
to him even if he wasn't a twink!"

"Well then, I'll have to do it the Old Fashioned Way! ARGHHHH!!!!" Mai
yelled as she began charging up another blast. But before it could go
off,
she was slammed by a Eldricth Blast From Ryo.

Mai, flew and smacked into the wall, getting up. "Your Gonna regret
that
one!" she yelled getting even more angry.

"I think not Lowly Demon!" As Ryo Slammed her with another Eldricth
blast
identing her into the wall. Suddenly Mai was in the air, "For your
abusual
of nature Demon, I curse you with the Worse Fate Possible!"

Using his Twink Like ability. Ryo Took alook at Maiyuki's charater
sheet and
erased her looks, replacing it with a one. Right before evevryone's
eyes,
Mai became Hideously Ugly. She was Bonked at the time however and could
not
tell.

"now the----" Ryo was cut off as he was bowled over by a Blast of
Victoria's
secret underwear and bras. He flew back into the school and out the
wall.
Only to dissapear. But his voice echoed. "My Utopia will soon be
comeplete.
Where there will be no more mean people, no more violence, No more Sex
well
anywhere until marrige, and no more Fast Food!"

Monterssor and Taiwan both simutanesly Began Screaming "NOOOO!!!!!! We
Have
to Stop Him!!!!!"

Ryu Looked around at the others."The only way we can stop him is if we
seek
the Mighty The Thesaurus. A Ancient Beast who resides within the
Hallowed
Halls of The Freshman Hallway!, where no one dare treads."

Suddenly Ryo appeared again, Grabbing out Ryu's soul, or charater
sheet,
scrathing off the smarts of 6 and replacing it with a 1. "well I won't
be
able to change anyone stats for awhile while I rest, but now you won't
be
able to find the Thesaurus!" Ryo said.

Then A Laser blast Hit ryo, it didn't look like It had much effect, but
he
was more heart broken to see the offender, his Date Kiki. "sorry Ryo,
but
your vision of utopia is more like hell!" she stated.

"Well, if that's how it has to be" Ryo responded, then dissapeared.

Meanwhile Ryu was wandering over to The Salamander that was suppposed
to be
Sally and watching with Awe."ooh, pretty, Duh, heh heh heh. I's Likes
Lizards, theres neats lookingsss Duh!" He said watching it with
amazment as
it chewed on some Grass.

219. The plant man was laid out on the floor with a few tangled students

after crashing into Maiyuki thanks to Sally.
³Whhoo, look at all the pretty stars,² said Maiyuki not knowing that
Œher¹
money had now vanished.
Kiki stood up from the mess of vines and popcorn and looked down at her

dress; ³Oh great. It¹s all ripped and dirty.² She clicked her fingers
three
times in a triangle like movement and her dance dress was replaced by
her
normal Sockomi science uniform in a blur. (After the last time she lost
her
clothes she devised a way of doing this so she didn¹t have to go into
sub-space for her wardrobe.)
Kiki faced Ryo; ³I¹m sorry. You were a wonderful date but I can¹t allow
you
to change the laws of reality. It really confuses people, and it won¹t
make
it a safer place, it will contradict itself and make it worse. I should
know
I¹ve studied itŠ²
Kiki started charging a laser ball; ³Šand anyway, as a light side
player I
hate twinks.²
Maiyuki snapped out of it, sat up and looked over to Sally; ³You!²
³Šah,² said Sally.

220. Everybody saw the little lizard that appeared when Maiyuki shot her
blast.
Nobody saw how quickly Sally dodged it. In fact, he flew right out of
his
clothes and was sitting in a tree... in bra and panties.
"I like those clothes too...", Sally whispered teary eyed under his
breath,
looking at the salamander way below as he hid in the tree,"And I
definitely
can't be seen like this".
Jumping at high speeds from tree to tree, Sally fled the area unseen
until
he became a girl again and crashed into a bush near his house.

221. Kiburi-san watched the solemn vote as Montresor
reloaded. In retrospect, he realized that while Ryu
had been annoying in the past, perhaps even a bit
vengeful, it was probably on the usual stuff that
every teenager did (those who were magically adept,
anyhow). Ryo, on the other hand... Well, maybe he
had ben wrong. May be Ryo was the good twin...

Making a quick decision, he decided to take action.

"We don't need to go abck and retrieve weapons," he
said, walking up to the group. "That will take too
long anyhow, and Ryo might have begun his plan before
we got back. There's more than enough stuff in the
Chemistry lab to make what we need, and and I'm sure
at least a few of us have some zap-guns or something
they can use on them. I say we move now and save our
reality! Who's with me?"

222. Genesis, still new to the school, finally wanders near the gym.
Seeing a large grouping of students outside, she sidles up to one of
them, hoping to meet some people.

*sidle* *sidle*

She stops next to Kiburi-san, purposely bumping him to gain his
attention. The seriousness of his earlier words unheard by her,
Genesis
smiles up at him with a youthful grin.

"Is this where the dance is? I'm new here, so I'm not completely sure
about my way around."

223. Maiyuki gets up form her fallen postion. With the flames of rage
burning
in her eyes she makes an incantation.

"Oh great spirits of the wolrd beyond I pledge myself to you to some
forth a
beast that may halt the fools that stand before me. Oh great Spirits
lend me
your power in the form of our enmies foes. Now greet Warrior Accend."

(translation Hoxus pokus what's to eat)

Suddenly a burst of light cracks the ground as smoke rises a dark
figure
stares out of the smoke and begins to Pantomime. (Mia just summoned a
mime).

Almost in an instant Mai is placed by the mime in a invisable box.

224. ³He¹s been turned into a complete lemon!² gasped Kiki looking at
Ryu,
³Now how are we going to find this Thesaurus beast thing?²
³We have to work together and go to the Freshman Hallway,² said Teri.
³That¹s the Hallowed Halls of the Freshman Hallway,² stated Montresor.
Teri ignored the robot and said; ³Right let¹s take a vote. Do we all go
home
or wherever and stock up on some decent gear, or, do we just go in
right
now?²
As the voting started Kiki picked up the lizard that the gang thought
was
Sally and put it in her pocket.

225. "I'll go!", Sally said wearing a t-shirt and pants. T-shirt and pants?
'This
couldn't be Sally, could it? ' was the majority of students opinions.
"Let's go to the chemistry lab!", Kiburi and Kiki said simultaneously.
The
mime acted like he was pulling himself there with a rope as he carried
Maiyuki in an invisible box.
"Where's the dance?", Genesis added glumly.
"Dese walls taste goood", Ryu said as he licked them.
"I'm gonna head to my locker, I'm sure there is more ammo there then
here.",
Teri said as she turned to leave.
'I'll head off with her. I'm already armed enough.", Sally stated as he

*smash to the floor* she walked after Teri. They were almost to her
locker
when a devolved Freshman fiend with sticky saliva and no eyes jumped
from
the ceiling, uttering,"He-he, girlses....", slobbering ravenously.

226. As Ryu was being led away he turned toward Kiburi and said.."Kiburi,
your my
Friend. Im sorry for all duh mean things I did to you's....Duh!!! Heh
heh
heh" He was walking with them, (More like being led) when he mutterd
some
more innae gibberish. "Kiki, your pretty. Your the Most Pretty Girl Ive

seen, How did you Get so Pretty? Did you use a Spell?........Duh, I
like the
taste of chocalate."

He proceeded down toward the Freshman hall slamming his head into
Lockers
and Laughing from the impact he made.

The Freshman hall, poor lighting and low tempertures. Those who went
down
in, never returned. For some reason all the Freshman in Oshiba had
dissapeared. But every one knew that Freshman were not people, they
were
some Deevolved race. The Lockers were filled in occasionly by Rocks,
and
stalicties hung from the Ceiling. The Freshman being the creatures that
they
were, had evolved to suit the envirment, but they all had one Goal. To
serve
their queen, and to paw anything remotely Female that ventrured down
their
quarters. All males were to be brought forth to the queen.

The Freshman heard movement and smelled the faint smell of a Femine
form,
since many of them were blind from living in the dark hall for so long,

there other senses were much stronger, they began to gather in earnest,

awaiting the Femine Treats that were there. Saliva dripping down as
Sally
and ((Kiki was it? Or Terri? I forgot)) ventured down the hall. The
Freshamn
began their attack with the words.."Girllllsssssss!!!!!!!!"

227. Kiburi-san rifled the cabinets in the chemistry
lab, producing a number of vials of strange liquids
and a large, menacing-looking gun.

"What's that?" Kiki asked.

"This is a Lindstradt air rifle," Kiburi-san replied.
"It shoots high-velocity tranquilizer darts."

"Yeah, but why would a chem teacher need that?"

"Well, with classes like these... Anyway, there are
two different types of vials. If you mix one of each
together, they will explode in 5 seconds. You hold
onto these while I find some ammo for the rifle."

Kiki secured the vials as Kiburi-san ransacked the
Science office, finally returning with a black pouch
of fletched darts loaded with a clear liquid.

"Okay, we're ready to go," Kiburi-san said, loading
the thirteen-round clip of the rifle and clipping the
remainer of the ammunition onto one of his pockets.
Tossing hiszap-gun to Kiki for her to use, he walked
into the hallway, adjusting the sights on the rifle.

As the duo approached the infamous freshman hallway,
dragging Ryu behind them, they heard a series of
screams and bursts from an automatic weapon.

"Teri's in trouble!" Kiburi-san yelled, running
towards the darkened hallway. "We've got to help
her!"

228. Mai bounces up and down in the box till she final breaks free.

"You idoit I Called you here to take care of Ryo. NOW GO GET HIM!" Mai
yells
as she kicks the mime into orbit.

The mime soon lands crashing down in a empty hall and Maiyuki soon
floats in
flowing him but the mime soon runs into a invisable wall. Mai watches
as a
group of students run by as a massive heard on the other side of the
wall.
The mime seems to be climbing the invisable wall with the an invisable
rope
and hook. Mai on the other hand takes the short cut and flies over.

The two watch as the crazed freshman run by after the girls. Mai stand
quiet
and blinks and then moves on down the hall with the mime in tow who
keeps
running into invisable walls.

229. The gang had decided to split up into groups, commando style.
Kirburi
and Kiki, with Ryu following (and dribbling), went to the chemistry
lab.
Maiyuki, who was in a strange position like a box, and the mime were
still
at the entrance. Teri and Sally had already gone down the hall. While
Genesis, who had just turned up and didn¹t know what was going on, was
in a
different hall with the three sidekicks. Taiwan, Lapin and Montresor.
³Yippee another girl,² said Montresor, ³the boy/girl ratio in the
school has
gone up!²
³Hee hee,² said Taiwan.
³Ep,² said Lapin.

230. The Freshman meance increased their forces, being repelled by the
Firepower
their limp body's began to stack up in to piles. Soon they Began coming
out
of the Lockers themselves!

"Their Everywhere!"Kibrui Cried out.

"There's just to many and Im gonna run out of ammo!" Terri said.

Sally was doing her best to Fight them off, knocking them out with
crippling
Blows.

Mr.Mime Began trapping them in Boxes and letting them pass out from
lack of
oxegen.

Mai was Turning them into Weebles,

Yet the Hoard continued to Grow!!

And it seemed they were after someone.

It was evedient that they were trying to Grab Kiburi."Queen needs a
Mate!"
They squeled trying to GRab and Drag him to their Queen's lair.

Figuring that Ryu was to stupid and puny to make a acceptable Mate for
their
queen, they decided he was better off as food for the Hive!

A Few Decended on him Trying to Grab Him. Ryu Looked up and
shouted..."GO
WAY SCARY BUG PEOPLE!" Blasting it with arcane energy.

He then began materlising Tinkertoys and constructing some strange
statue of
a horrible Tentacled Beast. He held it up to everyone and said.
"lookee, Dis
is my Uncle Yosogoth!" He then smashed it against his skull. Laughing.

Meanwhile Taiwan and Montressor were doing there duty to "Guard"
Genesis.
When Taiwan looked over at MonTressor and asked. "Hey Mon, ya think if
we
impress this chick with our Prowess she might go out with us?"

Montressorn the Robot floated in the air and responded. "IT's a
Possibility!
Lets Impress her!"

231. Sally had already finished one off.
Kiburi-san watched as Teri was jumping up and down on top of a
freshman;
³Don¹t touch me you creep!²
Another freshman ran down the hall.
³Well maybe she doesn¹t need much help,² said Kiburi-san.
³ErrrŠ that other one called for reinforcements,² said Sally noticing a

large group of fiends up ahead, ³it¹s not going to be easy to find this

thing to stop Ryo.²
³Get ready Kiki,² warned Kiburi-san. There was nothingŠ
Kiburi turned around to see Kiki gazing at Ryu who was gawking at a
picture
on the wall, tougue hanging out.
Kiki was quietly talking to herself; ³He¹s kind of cute, a bit silly
maybeŠ²
³Kiki,² tried Teri.
Kiki span around; ³Sorry I was just thinking of something.²
³Look ahead.²
The freshmen were closing in. Kiki looked at the zap gun Kiburi gave
her;
³Well this will save me some energy.²
The lead freshman saw Kiburi-san and said in a raspy voice; ³Male,
briiiinggg himmmm tooooo queen.²
Kiburi gulped.
From behind the group Maiyuki came into view a joined up; ³Hi guys. I¹m
I
fashionable late.²
After noticing Mai¹s looks were down to 1, Kiki wondered if there was
anyway
that she could create something to block twink powers.

232. With a quick burst of energy Mai makes a big white cowboy hat and
places it
on her head as she, Kiki, Kirburi-san and Ryu gather the Freshmen in a
large
group where the Mime soon lasos the freshmen and ties them down as if
they
were cattle in a rodeo.

A few stragglers are running about but many of the freshmen class lay
about
tied on the floor. As Mai show great joy in capturing the freshmen. But
the
reality of that the mime did most of the work doesn't hit her till she
finds
herself tied up and being draged behind the rest of the gang.

233. Kiburi-san realized that time was fast running
out. In a moment, he would be captured, whether he
liked it or not. Thinking quickly, he yelled to Kiki.

"Mix the vials and throw them at the lockers!"

Kiki complied as he took down another freshman with a
tranquilizer. A few seconds later, there was a series
of bright flashes as the banks of lockers on opposite
sides of the hallway collapsed, burying a large number
of freshman beneath them. But, with strength that
seemed almost inhuman, the freshman tossed the lockers
aside as though they were made of aluminum foil and
kept coming. Kiburi-san continued to fight, but was
soon overwhelmed. The freshman pinioned his arms, the
gun clattering to the floor and began to drag him
away.

234. Sally threw off three Freshman who were grappling her to the floor. She
was
covered in their spittle and was getting worried about the starch in
the
bra. Being a 10th grader, Sally was very recently a freshman at another

school and didn't remember the deevolution part.
Sally finally got an idea. Taking out her Pangalactic Ghetto Blaster,
she
cranked the volume up and turned it on. All the Freshman (and everybody

else) grabbed their ears.
"Ahhhh! Our subterranean senses are shattered!", the Freshman shrieked.
"Ahhhh! The Spice Girls!", screamed everyone else, except Sally who
started
to hum along before he noticed he was back to being a guy. Luckily, the

starchy bra and bad lighting did wonders for his 'girlish figure'.
"Okay, lets go find that thesaurus!", Sally said in his best squeaky
Sailor
Moon impression as Kiburi was dragged off. Of, course nobody heard it,
but
they followed Sally anyway after a few hand gestures, into the Freshman

caves.

235. "This, um, this is where the dance is?" Genesis asks to none in
particular. She shrugs and looks around a bit more, completely missing
anything important in the hallway.

She walks over to Taiwan. "Um, I know there's like no music, but,
would you dance with me? I'm new here, so I need this social
opportunity."

236. Kiki looked around the interior; ³How come there¹re caves in a high

school?²
Then Kiki looked over to Sally and did a small scream.
³What is it?² asked Teri quickly.
³I can¹t believe it¹s took me so long to notice,² said Kiki.
³Notice what?²
³That if Sally¹s thereŠ why do I have this lizard in my pocket?²
Sally grinned knowing he did move fast to dodge Mai¹s blast earlier.
Kiki decided to keep the lizard for her lab later.
³Let¹s continue, we gotta get Kiburi-san back,² said Teri.
Kiki was still talking to herself about her subject while walking; ³How
did
I not notice? Maybe it was because there was a lot of other stuff going
on
as well,² then she turned to Ryu who was slowly following, ³maybe it
was
because of, of him.²
She sighed and the gang continued on.

237. Mai is being draged along by the group and is showing just a little
anger
for her situation. "LITTLE ANGER I"M TICK OFF YOU STUPID NARATOR NOW
GET ON
WITH THE STORY"

Well If you want to behave like that then you just do it all I quit.

"Man I thought he would never shutup. Thats the absolute last time I
summon a
mime figures a guy who can't speak can't hear either. But I when I find
that
lousy jerk Ryo he will pay for what he did to me. That jerk destriod my

lovely face and he going to learn never to cross a woman scorned."

Mia hits a bump.

"Ouch, Hey I thought you quit."

I can't if you want to do something other then talk.

"Well fine but tell those idots up front to take it easier draging me
allright"

What did someone say something.

"Oh just great. Fine be that way see if I care."

Mai hits a whole swarm of bumps

"OUCH, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch .................."

238. The Freshman had been Fought off but at what a cost. the soaking in
Saliva
of the Female adventuer's that's what. And One boyFriend Scientist
kidnapped. a Rescue mission was in order for our interepid
adventurer's.

Meanwhile Kiburi was Dragged into a Large Open Cavern and thrown onto
the
Ground. Looking at the walls it seemed their was a strange gooey
substance
coating them. Kiburi quickly surmised that it was probably their
hardened
saliva fluids. Then a voice called out.

"Oh Boy! Finnaly A Real Man!!"

Kiburi looked up to see a young Girl about 14 with Long curly Blonde
hair,
thin redlips and a small Girlish Frame and incrediably pale skin. She
wore a
pink sweater and blue jeans. Her Rear end was attached to a Giant womb
Like
Structure like that of a Queen Ant's.

Every Few seconds a Freshman pod fell out of it.Kiburi was intriuged by
this
scientific break through! He now knew that Their were two seperate
classes
of Freshman!

The slightly tolorable ones were real people who entered that short
Deevoulution period in their lives, but after that year became people
again.

But apparently some Freshman enter a chrysalias and become queens,
giving
Birth to those Intolorable Freshman that Must be shoved into Lockers!

But he quickly broke out of his Funk and looked back at the Freshman
queen
who just unattached herself from her Giant womb.

She looked like a Normal Girl for her age, even pretty, it's just she
had
that whole inhuman freshman slimeness to her.

She Ran to Kiburi lept up onto him and tackled him to the Ground.

"My Name is Stacey! And Your My Mate now upperclassman!" with that she
began
to fill his face with Kissess while Freshman Guards stopped him from
trying
to escape.

Over with Genesis Taiwan stood Trying to Blink His lidliss eyes at The
Girl...Did she Just ask him to Dance? No, that couldn't be right. After
all,
He is a 9ft tall Foam Rubber Skeleton with 6 arms! Well he wasn't going
to
look a Gift horse in the mouth so he simply responded.
"Sure Babe! Let's Dance!" He took her Hand in hand as suddenly a olf
50's
slow dance song began to play out of nowhere, ((you know, one that says

ShooBopShoowap a Few times or something)) He slowdanced with her.

Unknown to everyone the Freshman queen had this music blaring from her
hidden chamber, trying to forcefully SlowDance with Kiburi. He hoped
That
his Friends would be smart enough to Follow the music to Her Lair.

All the while Ryu Walked with everyone, when he heard the music and
wrapped
his arms to his shoulders and began to sway..."im...Slow Dancing...!!"
He
then Giggled and walked swaying with his arms about his shoulders.

239. Teri went back to her locker for a Hyperdimensional hammer. The
whole mob followed her. She got into the locker, and began to change
into her Cosmic Battle Bikini. She heard 50's music playing through
the vent in the other side. A vent in the other side! Teri peeked
through the vent, and saw Kiburi and some wierd chick dancing! She
opened the door she had came in through to tell the others about what
she had found, and quickly ducked back into the locker. She then put
on her Cosmic Battle Bikini. She came back out, and told them.

240. The Freshman Queen Pulled Forth Kiburi and Held him close to her
reguarding
Kiki. "No! You Can't have him! He's my Mate now!"

With that she kept her Frowning Face and turned her head with a Hmph!

"But we Really Need him! Were Trying to Find the Thesuarus!" Kiki said.

"you seek the Letter Master! He is Deep within the Bowels of this
School! No
one has returned from seeking his aid! You must have a serious
problem!"
Stacey replied.

"we,we Do! Were dealing with a Twink wizard! And we need Kiburi!
Besides
he's my Boyfriend already!" Terri said menacingly stroking her AK-47.

"WWWell You'll have to compensate me in some way for safe passage
through my
territory's... And It better be something Good, otherwise Im Keeping my
new
mate!" Stacey said.

Over in the Corner Ryu started to spout off the life cycle of a
Succubi.

241. Kiki consulted her laptop that had most of the school¹s blueprints
on.
This was because she sneakily hacked into the school¹s computers
earlier and
got them as well as some student records; ³Well, going through Teri¹s
locker
would be the fastest but I can¹t bring myself to harm someone¹s locker.
We
could climb through the ceiling air vents and drop down on them or we
could
go back and navigate those caves, but that could take for ever.²
³Air vents it is then,² said Teri.
³No way, I say just blast right through!² yelled Maiyuki.
³If we do that we may start a cave-in on the other side,² said Kiki.
Sally went in a small door and came back with a stepladder. Kiki opened
the
air vent on the ceiling with a screwdriver and everyone climbed up. It
was
dark and they all had to slide on their bellies to move. Kiki was in
the
lead following her laptop. They all moved through the vents like
commandos
on the field of combat, expect Ryu who said; ³I¹m a worm, I¹m a wriggle

worm.²
After a while the music in the vents had stopped. Kiki noticed on the
laptop
a circle on the route they were following. Kiki was trying to remember
what
a circle means when she and the rest found out the hard way. It meant
another vent going down.
The gang fell and slid like they were on a water slide and soon fell
out
into the caves. They didn¹t land on the cave floor, they landed on
Kiburi-san.
³Whaa!² said Kiburi.
Kiki landed on him; ³Ouch!²
Teri landed on the two; ³Oww!²
Sally landed on them; ³Yip!²
Mai crashed through too; ³Grr!²
Than as the cherry on top Ryu fell on top of them all; ²I win!²
Stacey eyed them all in a heap on her new found male; ³Damn it, they¹re
all
female as well. Apart from the weird one on top but he doesn¹t seem
worth
it.²
³Hey,² said Kiki defending Ryu.
³What do you lot want!² demanded Stacey.
³We¹re looking for something and we want Kiburi back, where is he?!²
said
Teri.
A series of muffles came from below. Kiki and Teri gasped and the group
got
off him.
³He looks kind of flat hee hee,² said Ryu.
Kiburi got up and dusted himself off.

242. Kiburi-san, feeling a bit sore, realized that he
had to find some way to distract the freshman queen so
that they could all get on with the misssion of
finding the Thesaurus and defeating the evil Ryo.
Unfortunately, the shock that he had gone though was
muddling his thoughts.

He looked around for Montresor, hoping that it would
be able to help, but it was nowhere around. Finally,
after a few minutes of conscious thought while dodging
the queen, he hit upon an idea.

"You have a lot of alien technology, right?"
Kiburi-san said to Kiki. "Do you have anyway of
creating something that at least looks like a guy to
distract her? It's going to be hard for me to do
anything if I'm trapped down here."

243. The Lizard man immeditely pounced on stacey and began licking her face
like
well a Lizard!

"Wow! A Guy who actully likes me! You can go!" Stacey embraced the
lizard
man Lovingly who was doing the same.

Hmmm, they must be from the same species Kiburi said.

"In order to Find the Thesaurus your going to have to Go in to the
Realm of
the Really Really Really Bad Nasty Mean Scary Nightmare inducing Hells
Made
in Taiwan." Stacey Said to Kiki.

"are you sure you won't let me keep this Guy! I mean I doubt he's any
use to
you" The Freshman Queen said as Her Freshman Guards began to walk
toward
Ryu.

Ryu At the Time had Crayola crayons and paper out. He was Drawing a
picture
that Said "My Freindz" on it, with the backwords F. In the picture was
a
picture of him smiling next to Kiburi, Kiki, Sally, Taiwan, Montressor,
and
Terri in it. Kiki was Holding a Ray Gun with a Big smiling Face. Kiburi
Was
Hugging Terri who had a Really big Bazooka in her hands. Sally Looked
very
angry in the picture with her fist sticking out at Montressor and
Taiwan who
had her/his panties.

Ryu held up the Picture for everyone and said "lookee what I Draw! he
he he
he he"

243. Sally called a huddle.
"Okay, admittedly ryu is a little dumb right now...", Sally started.
"A little. He's practically braindead!", Maiyuki griped.
"And he has been quite a pain...", Kiburi said, remembering the dragon

incident.
"He seems alright to me. He did warn about his brother!", Kiki stated
thoughtfully.
"He has tried to destroy Oshiba several times!", Teri stated.
"YES...", Sally hissed as everyone talked at once,"but what is scarier
is
that we don't even know this freshman queen that well. Who knows what
she
would do with Ryu's power? I say its easier to take him along."
The rest of the groups started contemplating this as sally became a she

again. Everyone stared as Sally hit the floor for what seemed to be no
purpose.
"... and we can use him as a human shield!", Sally said to detract
attention
from herself.

244. "Yeah go ahead too stupid to do anything else we might as well use
Ryu
as a human shield or at least a decoy. So we can distract the Queen and
take
her out in one final swoop there by destorying the hords of freshman
and
ruling the world."

The group just stares at Mai as if she lost it. The Lizzard mans eyes
twitch
around the room flicking his tounge from time to time and the mime
seems
distracted with an invisable bar and glass of beer. Mai goes on
wiggling
tring to escape the bonds of the mime's invisable rope.

245. ³Of course I have alien technology. Now, where did I put that
hologram
generator?² asked Kiki to herself. Kiki searched in her inside pockets
and
pulled out a grenade; ³No,² she searched some more and pulled out the
lizard, ³Šgood enough.²
Kiki threw the lizard in the air and said; ³Maiyuki now!²
Maiyuki zapped the lizard in mid-air and it formed into a humanoid
shape.
Cool Lizard Dude was born and for a strange reason it was wearing
shades.
³Wow!² said Stacey.
³Well I guess that will distract her,² said Kiburi-san.

246. ³No you can¹t use Ryu like a shield it¹s not nice,² said Kiki.
The others looked a bit stunned.
³As long as I¹ve known him, which isn¹t as long as you lot, he¹s been,
well,
sort of, nice. And anyway Maiyuki,² Kiki said keeping her voice down,
³we
can¹t attack the queen she¹s helping us with the Thesaurus thing, and
it¹s
better to have her on our side than against us.²
³Oh yeah,² said Maiyuki, ³I want my looks back.²
³And we can get Ryu back to normal,² added Kiki.
³So where is this Realm of the Really Really Really Bad Nasty Mean
Scary
Nightmare or whatever it¹s called?² asked Maiyuki.

247. Ryu was now eating jellie Beans. At least everyone hoped they were
jellie
beans, wondering where he found them.

Stacey, the Freshman queen spoke up. "The Realm of the Nasty Stuff is
beyong
my Kingdom. Just take the access Tunnel Behind my Womb Sack!"
She said while Hugging the Lizard man.

"Be warned though, you'll be crossing into the Thousand Hells!" She
Said
meancingly.

"Are there really a Thousand!!" Kiki cried.

"No, more like 8 or 9. They have a Low Budget" Sally squeaked back,
knowing
this from her Martial Arts Training.

"Anyway, Im guessing that these Hells still won't be that Friendly"
Kiburi
said, Wiping Lipstick off His Face, while doing his Best not to enrage
Terri
for what had happened.

"Who Cares!Let's Just Get Going!" Mai Chimed in."Hey Let me go!" She
said as
The Mime began to pull her on the Invisble rope.

The Group walked pass the Giant womb like aparatus and found a Old
service
elevator. Everyone had to squeeze in Tight to Fit.

There was only one Button on it. It Read: Floor 666.

"well isn't that nice" Kiburi said nervously pressing it.
With a lurch the elevator began to Careen down at Breakneck speeds. It
felt
more like a Drop then anything else! Everyone began screaming.

Ryu using his small 5'2 Frame, Gripped himself to Kiki saying."Scary! I

don't like Roller Coasters!"

As it finally hit bottom the doors opened letting everyone out. IT was
more
like eveyone falling out however due to the strain of landing to fast.

When everyone looked up they saw nothing But White Sand everywhere.
Then
they noticed they were all in swim wear. All of the Males were in
Shorts.
((Excluding Sally who was wearing a one piece bathing suit. The demons
figured this would be best for her since she/he kept changing Genders
so
much)) All of the Girls were in two peice Bikini's!

All around was nothing but miles and miles of Hotsand. Then they
noticed
something.....other people, and little short midget Demons who Flew on
Magic
Carpets and ran around on the Ground. Most noticable was the Hairy Feet
they
had. One strolled up to the GRoup and Proclaimed Loudly...

"WELCOME TO THE HELL OF HOT SAND THAT BURNS THE FEET WITH NO BEACHTOWEL
OR
OCEAN IN SITE!!!!!! MWHA HAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!!!!!!!!"

IT then pulled out several weights and suddenly they were attached to
Mai's
Feet. "That's so Ya don't get any Ideas and Fly missy!"

With that the Little Demon went off.

Suddenly the pain hit Everyone's Feet causing them to Yowl out in pain
and
jump in the air! The Sand was hotter then a Black top Parking lot on a
Sunny
100'degree Day!

All around there were people Jumping and yowling in pain.

248. With the massive heat of the sand the invibal rope binding Mai
burned to
where she was able to break free.

"Come Back here you stupid little Imp ."

Mai tried to fly but she only cuased herself to crash face first in the
sand.
The heat cuased her to scream in pain.

"Hot Hot Hot Hot"

Mai gets back up on her feet as her face appears deep red.

"Thats it."

Mai pulls out a weird glowing blue ball and smashes it on the hot sand.
Which
quickly is covered in water which in turn freezes suddenly.

"There No more trouble with the sand and these weights make perfect ice

skates."

"Umm Mai." cries the others. "NOW ITS FREEZING COLD"

Mai looks on as everyone is freezing in their bathing suits the mime
appears
to be a solid block of ice at the same time.

"OOPS." slips from Mai's mouth.

249. The demons were in a panic as their Beloved Hell was turned into a Ice
rink.
They ran up to mai Screaming at her!

"You Fool were Gonna Get sued for Copyright Infringment From the Hell
of
Cake and IceCream!!!! Were Doomed!!!"

Of course now the demons had to go into a Huddle to decide to make the
best
of a Bad situation. They approached the party.

"Okay here's the deal you people! This is no longer the hell of hot
Burning
Sand! This is now The Hell Of Ice Hockey!!!!! MWHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

With that they heard a pipe organ playing in the backround followed by
Macarena!!

"NO!!! NOT THIS!!" Screamed Sally.
"A Fate worse then Death, the Macarena!" Terri Chimed in.

The Rest of the Group being aliens did not know the Full impact and
Fury of
the Macarena, but soon Knew as the Cursed Song played on.

Meanwhile Ryu, who had his intelligance dropped, was immune to it it's
effects and even enjoing the Music As he did the dance for it as well.
"HEY MACARENA!" he called out in joy!

"But that's not all you will suffer through!" Cried out the midget
hairy
feeted Demons.

Suddenly they heard the sounds of Ice skates scraping across the ice.
Over
the Hill came the Biggest Largest Hockey Players They had ever seen!!!
Then
they saw the Jersy's on them. The Detroit Redwings Grind Line!!!

"Yes Darren McCarty! Draper! and Maltby!" Said the Demon.
"Wasn't there another one?" Asked Sally.
"Yes, but we couldn't afford him, But wait till you meet their
Goalie!!!!!"

Suddenly the sound of a Chainsaw cut the air!

Over the hill they saw a Large Hulking Figure standing at 8ft tall
wearing a
Hockey mask and a Janitor's with a Hockey Jersey over it! In this
Figures
Hands were a Large Chainsaw! Where the Goalie Stick should have been,
was a
Large Scythe! In his other hand! On the back of the Jersey was the name

VORHEASTHE!

"go get em Jason!" Cried the demons!

"Oh No what are we Gonna do!?" asked Kiki as the Hockey players
decended
upon them and Ryu continues to Dance the Macarena!

250. Maiyuki quickly uses her powers to summon forth ice skates on the
feet of
the fellow travelers and quickly skates next to Sally.

"Hey sally the way I hear it this Vorheasthe guy likes pretty young
girls why
don't you keep him busy." Mai says as she slaps Sally forward towards
Jason.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH he likes to kill girls stupid." yells Sally.

"Yeah well just keep him busy while the rest of us take care of the
other
guys."

Jason starts to pull the cord on his chain saw but with a lucky duck
Sally
avoids the attack. But the Freak hasn't finshed with Sally yet and does
his
best to keep up with Sally who is dashing off as fast as she can for
her
life.

Mai and the Mime pull out two hockey sticks and a weird looking hockey
puck
with teeth. Mai tosses the puck up and the mime slams it straight at
the
hockey players. the puck starts doing a pac man imataion trying to take
a
bite out of the players.

251. Kiburi-san watched the hockey players advance as
calmly as he could. As an alien, a chainsaw probably
wouldn't permanently harm him, but it wouldn't tickle
either.

Unable to think of a better idea, he pressed a button
on his watch. A moment later, Montresor flashed into
view, along with Taiwan and a girl Kiburi-san didn't
immediately recognize.

"Uh, hey, boss, what gives?" Montresor asked.

"Well, we're back in hell and trying to find the
Thesaurus."

"Oh. Hey, how come all the girls are in bikinis?"

"I don't know. This used to be a beach or something.
Now can you help me get rid of the demons and hockey
chainsaw people and things?"

Montresor, however, wasn't listening. "Hot dog!" it
yelled, and with Taiwan went over to ogle the girls.

"Rrg, next time I put in a better obedience program,"
Kiburi-san mumbled. "Okay, I still have my Library
card... Ah hah!"

Sliding it in the air, he said "Holy Bible, King James
Version with attached cross!"

A few seconds later the book appeared. Kiburi-san
pushed it at the demons, who backed away in fright.

"All right," he said, keeping the demons at bay with
the bible, "Let's go get the Thesaurus already!"

Behind him, the chainsaw swished through the air and
Kiburi-san's hair was suddenly an inch shorter.

252. Sally pushed Kiburi as Jason swung his saw, successfully moving him out
of
harms way. Sally had watched a few Jason movies and had a good idea of
what
to do.
"Rarrgghh!", said Jason(which translates to"Aaach i can't skate!And i
can't
turn offf this out of control chainsaw! get out of my way!)
Sally stared at jason and noticed that as she stared at him, he moved
slow
as molasses. Spinning around, she found he was right next to her
now.Jumping
over jason as he hacked with the saw, Sally kept his(oh god I hope
nobody
notices how flat i just became) eyes on the undead goalie. Skating
around
the monster three times while watching him, the ice was sliced in a
circle
and jason fell through into a toxic sewer, where 50 FBI guys shot him,
he
was grabbed by a corpse, landed on spikes, and stabbed by his sister.
Afterwards freddy took his mask and said," C'mon home Jase, i told you
you
shouldn't have gotten drunk with them midgets, lets get you sober and
into
the right hell...".
Sally smiled visibly at the results until one of the grindliners plowed
him
into the net.

253. Ryu was being pummbled everywhere by the Grind Line. However,
thankfully
since Sally was slammed into the Net the Siren went off!

Suddenly there was cheering everywhere while octupi were thrown onto
the
ice!

"I Guess I scored a Goal" Sally said dazed as He/She fell over again.

The Grind Line Just Grunted alot and went to Face Off, waiting for
whichever
of the party members would take postion as center.

Thinking Clearly Mai Grabbed Ryu, Went over to Her Team's net and using
Mime
Ropes Tied Ryu Spread Eagle on the Front of the net.

254. Kiki saw Ryu tied to the goal and skated over. She didn¹t think it
was
very nice tying him to goal but what else could he do in his state.
³I¹ll be your defence, OK Ryu?² Said Kiki picking up a hockey stick.
Ryu just said; ³I liked dancing.²
Kiki looked over towards the newly arrival of the girl with Montresor
and
Taiwan. Lapin was sitting on the girl¹s head and with seeing Kiki he
jumped
off and slide across the ice to her.
³Alright, I¹ve got my rabbit back but that doesn¹t change the odds much

because he¹s a dumb as Ryu is right now,² said Kiki checking out the
situation, ³having the new girl back evens up the odds. And if
Montresor and
Taiwan stop staring at Teri¹s bikini they can help too.²
Genesis still with her normal clothes on spoke up; ³Why is everyone
wearing
bathing suits and ice skates and where I¹m I?²
Suddenly she dodged as one of the Redwings got into position.
The Macarena played onŠ

255. Mai decides to let the mime take center while she changes from her
two
peice to a tight fiting cheerleading outfit with the number 9 on the
back of
her outfit. She pulls out a hockey stick called the heavens gate hockey

stick. (name this cause its about the size of heavens gate.) The mime
ofcourse appears not to have any hockey stick at all but some how is
still
able to handle a hockey puck.

Soon the ref comes out on the ice and screams are heard as its the
worst
possible person. Jerry Lewis.

"HELLO PRETTY LADIES."

256. Sally looked really nervous in the small one piece, until he realized
what
to do.
"Darn gender changing potion keeps turning me into a guy....darn kiburi
and
his robot, er..he he.", Sally struggled to say non-chalantly. Then he
started digging into his one piece, and, amazingly, seemed to have all
sorts
of make-up and odds and ends he started to pull.
"Razor edged compacts, acidic lipstick, powderpuff, hairspray and
matches,ahh here it is!", he said as he pulled out a deluxe sized
mascara
wand.
Putting all of the other equipment away, and setting the wand on the
ice,
Sally skated to his position and tried to wield it like a hockey stick.
He
just really hoped he didn't look as foolish as he thought he did.

257. The plan suddenly came together as Kiki began to
spell it out. If they could convince Taiwan to change
to its larger form, it was more than large enough to
completely block the goal and stop the opposition from
scoring. Then Montresor and the mime would run around
with hockey sticks, checking and distracting the
opposition, while the rest would bash through the
remaining defenders and score.

Satisfied with the plan, Kiburi-san gave a hockey
stick to Montresor, and put on a pair of skates while
Kiki tried to talk Taiwan into changing. Montresor
immediately yelled "KILL JERRY LEWIS!" and went after
him with the hockey stick. Kiburi-san watched them run
around both of them yelling unintelligably. It was
only when he tried to stand up that he remembered he
didn't know how to ice-skate, and barely put his arms
up in time to save his face from meeting the rink
surface head-on.

258. Maiyuki gets into position behind the opposing goal as the other
girls
fight to try and take the puck away from the Red wings. Mai decides
that if
she can't bring the puck to the goal the only solution is to bring the
goal
to the puck. She shoots a massive blast of wind at the ground causing
the
goal to rocket into the air and fall just a few inches from the puck.

The Mime hits a invisible puck confusing the Red wings as to where the
real
puck had gone and before they learn that they where tricked the a goal
was
scored. But a very mean tempered Jason decides that the move wasn't
fair play
in his book and he uses a chainsaw to sink the goal below the icy
surface. He
then turns to Mai and pulling out his deluxe Weed destroyer 2000 he
starts to
chase the demon girl around the rink. The ref Jerry Lewis decides its
unfair
play on Mai's half and sends her to the penlity box but he doesn't take
away
the point.

Mai sulks as she sits in a fire pot of luke warm lava (its rather
comfortable
actually) with two little devils hard at work tring to keep it warm.

"Hey Lady do you know how much trouble you just caused freezing this
place
over." Say one Devil

"If your team loses your going to send eternity melting hell with a
hair
dryer" Claims the other devil

259. Sally pushed Kiburi towards the puck. It was a good thing he had done
that
ice training, though the killer penguins were not. As Kiburi slid,
Sally
stopped pushing and went to the penalty box. With a quick whisper in
Maiyuki's ear, the plan went into effect.
Kiburi was about to get creamed by the Red Wings when they all turned
their
heads. Jerry Lewis and Jason were wearing Colorado Avalanche Jerseys!!!
"Rarrggg!", Jason said to the uncoming onslaught, which meant, "You
sophomoric fools, can you not see that the demon girl has put these on
us
with her powers and their team is about to score a goal?".
"Ouches!ooch!OWWWoah....stop wit da hoiting!", Jerry lewis pleaded as
he and
Jason were beaten by the hockey playing monsters.
In the background, everyone took turns shooting goals.

260. The demons cried in pain as they had to throw all of the Redwings into
the
penalty Box for Fighting. So the Teeners had one by Default, and score!

The Demons ran up.."Alright, you've won this time, but you have to go
through the next hell!!!"

All of the Gang were wondering what new horror they would have to face
as a
Portal opened up in front of them and they were all sucked through!!!!

Flashing Light passed by all and what sounded like someone yelling
about a
Guy Named Quinn Mallory passed by.

Out of the Sky our Heroes dropped, screaming the whole way, until they
hit
the bottom and landed on soft Grass. Up in Front of them was a very
large,
what looked like apartment building.

Then they saw the sign, It Read:Welcome to Ackin' Back Nursing Home.

Suddenly a Demonic looking, yet incrediably Cute Nurse ran up and
said."Welcome to the Hell of Old people! Oh!! You must be our new
employees!"

It was then that the party relised their Clothes had changed again!!

Kiburi was wearing a Orderly's outfit.

"It will be your Job to clean the bedpans and the Floor's sir"The nurse
said
to him, handing him a mop.

The Female members were all dressed in Very Tight fitting, short
skirted
Nurse's outfits!

The Demon Nurse now addressed them."You will be giving sponge Baths to
our
paitens, and help Feeding them!" She said warmly.

Then she looked at Taiwan,Montressor, and Lapin."Oh what cute pets! You
can
entertain the Elderly Folks!" She said picking them up and tossing them
into
a room full of Old people who began pawing them and utteriing giberish.

Then finally she looked at Ryu, who was, doing something wierd. He was
scrathing His head, and looked like he was trying to say something. He
looked around and asked."Um, what..What is Going on?"

What was particularly strange about this was, it was an intelligant
question!

Suddenly the gang relised that Mai was no Longer near as Ugly as she
was
Before! Her Looks were coming back to her!

Kiburi and Kiki started pondering what was happeing, when simeltaneouly
they
both stated. "We Must be in a Diffrent Dimension out of Ryo's control!
Ryu
and Mai are starting to Turn back to normal, since Ryo's influece is
not as
strong here!"

The Nurse's warm smile went to a mean one.. "GET TO WORK!!!"

Suddenly a strange indivudal dropped down from the sky and whispered to

everyone. "Pssst! The object of this Hell is to Try to get out, without

causing the Nurse any Grief and such, I think the exit is hidden
somewhere
inside of the home!"

With that the Figure was Gone....

261. After unexplicably falling to the ground with the others, Genesis
stands up and notes that her clothes have changed themselves, as well.
She notices she is wearing a typical nurse's outfit; however, the
material seems more or less painted to her body.

"Wait, we have to give sponge baths to the elderly?" she asks
suddenly. "What kind of a school dance is this? Hey, um, well, I
don't
think I know you."

She looks at Maiyuki. "Um, my name's Genesis. Could you tell me
what's going on?" Genesis seems to wear a ditz look on her face
convincing Maiyuki that she really doesn't have a clue.

262. "You want me to do WHAT?" Screams Maiyuki completely ignoring the
questioned asked her. "NO way I'm not going to scrub no old farts body
with a
sponge."

Suddenly Mai feels something rub against her. She turns around to see a

couple of perverted old men trying to attack her.

"Damn it. Why the hell do you guys have to go after me." Mai attempts
to fly
off but notices that she still is weighed down by the metal boots. A
man
grabs her leg and she quickly reacts by smacking his face blue.
"Pervert."

Meanwhile Genesis goes on trying to talk to Mai not taking any notice
of her
being attacked by the perverted old men.

"Hey Stupid, can't you do something useful." Shouts Mai.

"Like What." answers Genesis in a valley girl / hippie way

"Like get these freaks off of me or at least get me out of these stupid

boots."

"But aren't you having a good time with your date."

"Listen here you numbskull first this jerk Ryo shows up and humiliates
me,
then we're attacked by a bunch of freshman led by a freaked out queen
who
likes lizard men. Then we faced the hell of burning sand and the hell
of ice
hockey. Just so we can get a stupid book for stupid Ryu so we can be
that
stupid jerk. And now your clueless brain can't even see I'm being
attacked by
these perverts."

263. Mai is still fighting off the old men as the group walk into the
home.
³.....Bedpans, I have to, clean, bedpans,² said Kiburi.
Kiki started looking worried and kept staring into space.
³What¹s up?² asked Kiburi
³Because we¹re in a different dimension my sub-space pockets don¹t work

because we¹re on a different plane of existence,² cried Kiki.
³What do you mean?² asked Teri who started listening.
³Different dimensions have different sub-spaces,² explained Kiki, ³I
guess I
could open pockets up here but not the ones with my gear in.²
An old man started creeping up on Kiki and she created a laser ball and
told
him to back off, which he did. Genesis looked like she didn¹t have a
clue.
³These are bugging me!² complained Maiyuki about her weighted boots.
Kiki
released her laser ball and Mai¹s feet where free.
³Thanks,² mumbled Maiyuki. The explosion made the old men Œattacking¹
her
run off at an extremely slow speed.
Kiki turned to Ryu and smiled that he was turning back to normal. She
was
just about to ask him about the Thesaurus, (If it was a man or a book)
when
out of no where the demon nurse reappeared; ³I told you lot to get to
work!²
Time tables appeared in the gangs hands with tasks on them to do.
³NOW!² yelled the nurse.
The gang ran off in all directions trying to find the rooms they had to
go
to. Kiki and Teri ended up having to walk down some stairs. They had to
go
down five flights but only made it down half of the first one, because
in
front of them were an elderly couple going down the stairs at snails
pace.
³We¹re going to be here for ages,² moaned Kiki.
³It¹s alright I think they¹ll die before they get to the bottom of the
stairs,² said Teri.
³Or we¹ll die first,² mumbled Kiki.

264. "I really hate this," Kiburi-san mumbled under his
breath. After what seemed like hours, he had seen
more stool samples than the average medical lab does
in a week, had his face pinched so many times by old
ladies that there wasn't a single spot that wasn't
sore, and had to listen to scores of old geezers
moaning about their war wounds or something.

Upon entering the next ward, he saw Montresor being
brutally attacked by a senile old man that bore a
slight resemblence to Colonel Sanders. He was wearing
a white suit and matching hat, and was bashing at
montresor with an exquisitely carved wooden cane with
a metal handle. Upon seeing Kiburi-san come into the
room, he shifted his attention from the robot.

"You!" He bellowed. "You were supposed to ahve
changed my bedclothes an hour ago! I'll teach you to
be late!"

He swung at Kiburi-san, but he was able to dodge out
of the way in time. Unfortunately, as though his jump
had been choreographed by the hand of fate, he landed
with his feet precisely planted in the center of a
pair of bedpans. He tried to escape, but his feet had
jammed in them.

It was a comical trio that limped down the hallway:
Kiburi-san, clumping along with the bedpans attached
to his feet; the old man, walking along at a fraction
of an Mph in his walker, yelling obscenities; and
Montresor spinning around in lazy circles, as the cane
had damaged its directional jets.

After a few minutes of this, they turned a corner and
smashed into Mai and Genesis, who had been running in
the other direction.

265. "Medicine distribution...", Sally said smiling at the chart. This was
easy
he thought as he became a girl*smash*.
"All you have to do is give them the pill, a drink of water, and make
sure
they swalow.", the demon nurse said grinning.
Sally headed into the first room with cup of water and pills in hand.
Inside was an old man screaming about potatoes.
"Open wide sir", Sally giggled as she raised the pill towrards his
mouth.
She waited smiling for a minute when the old man's mouth finally was
fully
opened. Placing the pill in his mouth, it took three full minutes for
his
mouth to shut. Then it took him a full minute to swallow. A gigantic
sweat
bead was coming down Sally's forehead.
"It's okay, he is really old and it's alright that it took him that
long.",
Sally said retaining her smile as she left." I'm sure the other
patients...."
"HURRY UP! THERE ARE OLDER PATIENTS WHO NEED THEIR MEDICINE NOW!", the
demon
nurse said as her head grew gigantic and mean.
Sally looked scared for a moment, but then she spied a bucket. Picking
it
up, she filled it up and put the bucket in one hand and pills in the
other.
"Ahhhhhh!", she said screaming as she ran through the halls throwing
pills
down old people's throats and throwing water down them on the next
pass.
"Alright! I'm done!", Sally said as she noticed that all the old people
were
on the floor, choking on the pills and soaked by the water.

266. "Ouch" Yells Mai as she is hit by the cane that flys up in the air.

"Hey Why don't you guys watch were your going."

Mai looks on as the old man goes on complaining at Kiburi-san. While
Genisis
has a blank look on her face as see doesn't seem to be paying any
attention
at all.

"Leave me alone you old man" Shouts Kiburi-san.

Mai decides that she have a better chance if she let the whole
situation to
the others and she floats just out of reach and lays down as if she
were
going to go to sleep.

"Can you guys keep it quiet I want to get some rest before I face that
jerk
Ryo."

Montresor floats up to Mai and starts taping at her.

"Hey, Magic girl I don't think this will do any of us any good."

"Oh please. Now listen up you peice of scrap metal I don't deal with
old men
and the only way to take care of them is too...."

A sudden plan hits Maiyuki and her face gains a devilish grin as she
begins
to cast a summoning spell.

"Oh great spirts of time send forth a person to aid us in our danger."

Suddenly light fills the room and a grey haired man in a grey suit
stood
before the group. The old man attacking Kiburi-san suddenly stoped as
if he
was a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

"Matlock"

suddenly more and more old folks flocked out as if in a trance to see
Matlock.

267. Ryu sat outside the Home holding a Large map of Hell.

He was paying very careful attention to it. Trying to figure out where
they
could find the Thesaurus..

He jotted down their current postion and looked for the Closest route
out.

His mind begant to drift about the current events..The one that weighed
most
heavily on his Mind was Kiki...The Beutiful Scientific girl. She was
the
complete oppostie of him, using science to break the laws of physics..
While
he used Magick to perform the same function.
He began to wonder what would happen if they mixed the two..He meant
REALLY!! mixed the two..She was Tall and Sexy, while he was Short
and..not
ugly, but definetly creepy.But enough of that, he could worry about
Girls
later..Listen to myself! He thought, I use to never worry about Girls.

He went back to Look at the map when he heard the Nurse yelling at Him!
"What are you Doing!! Get to work!! She yelled handing him a Chef's hat
and
suit.

"You have to Go cook the oatmean and then Feed it to these people! now
move!!" THe nurse yelled at RYu who quickly ran off to do what he was
told.

268. A flickering image of Kiki appeared in front of the old couple on
the
stairs for a brief second before it became solid. Kiki had just
teleported.
Teri, who strangely had some sort of ninja rope on her, was scaling
down the
flights like she was rock climbing. They both made it to the right
floor and
looked at their timetables. Teri just groaned and said; ³See you later
I
gotta got go this way,² as she walked down the hall. Kiki looked at her

clipboard telling her to go in the opposite direction.
Kiki¹s eyes widened with fear; ³I have to... to... give sponge baths?
NOOOO!²
She opened a door slowly peeking around, inside were five beds on
either
side. In each were old men staring at her, awaiting her visit. < Sweat!
>
Kiki slowly stepped in and looked around then to her clipboard.
³OK,² Kiki said to the room, ³Who is Mr. Hakken?²
All ten men raised their hands and started yelling Œyes¹.
Kiki sighed but suddenly was very scared because she felt something on
her
shoulder. Kiki yelled, throwing the clipboard in the air, and turned
her
head.
³Arrrggh! What you screaming for?² asked Taiwan. The foam skull was
balanced
on her shoulder.
³Oh it¹s just you. Hey, you know where Lapin is?²
³What that little rabbit? I was chasing him earlier but lost him. I
thought
he went in here.²
³You were chasing my rabbit?² said Kiki.
³ErrŠ well, kind of, I just wanted to get away from those old people.²
³Well I¹ll rather find Lapin then scrub down one of these old perverts,
so
let¹s go find him.²
Kiki and Taiwan ignored the cries for nurse and walked out. The only
other
places Kiki could think Lapin would be was in the air ducts or wherever
food
is. A few doors away was the kitchen.

269. KIburi-san managed to disentangle himself from the
mess in the corridor and dodge into a small corner
room with a flight of stairs leading downward. "To
furnace," a small sign with black lettering said.
That gave Kiburi-san an idea.

Running down the stairs, he spied the furnace glowing
redly in a corner of the basement. He opened the
furnace's maintenance hatch. Sure enough, there was a
small reddish demon crouched on top of the hot coals.

"What do you want?" it asked in a peevish voice.

"All right, you pathetic little minion, I've just
about had it. I've seen stuff in bedpans that would
make a trained soldier puke. I've been attacked by
deranged old guys with canes. For all I know, some
nasty old man is trying to feel up my girlfriend while
she's giving him a sponge bath. Now, you tell me how
to find the (*&^@$)*(^#@()_*%^ Thesaurus, of so help
me I'll-"

"I'd look behind you," the demon said.

Kiburi-san turned to face the nurse, who now towered
over him. She did not look happy.

270. The Nurse looked over AT Kiburi.

"Your not getting out of this Hell until you Complete your chores! Now
move!
It's Bingo time for the Old Folks!!"

With that She pushed kiburi back up the stairs.

When she wasn't looking, the same Mysterious figure dropped from the
ceiling
and whispered to Kiburi. "Pssst, You can Find the exit, in one of the
Old
Guy's sponge Bath! But beware! It will lead you to the next hell, after

going through two more hells, you will reach the Thesaurus!"

With that and the sound of Heavy machinery, the Figure rose back up
into the
sky.

Meanwhile Ryu was wondering what to make for the Old folks to eat, he
had
the oatmeal cooking when he saw lapin, being that ryu had never met
lapin,
he decided that it Must be for dinner.

He reached down and Grabbed the poor creature by the scruff of the
neck, and
placed it on a Chopping block, he rose up a Butcher Knife and
stopped.."ooo,
I can't do this, I Hate the site of Blood! It's so nasty and icky icky
icky!!"

He thought for a second while still holding Lapin, who was struggling
to get
free. "I know! I'll just magic it cooked!"
With that he Raised his Hand as it was filled with Black energy and
held it
above the rabbit ready to release when suddenly...

Kiki Busted in to see the Scene!!!

271. Kiki, old people hell's kitchen

"What are you doing?!" yelled Kiki.
Thinking fast Kiki threw Taiwan at Ryu yelling the word; "Catch!"
Ryu let go of Lapin to catch the skull and his black energy faded away.
"Hi boss," said Taiwan in Ryu hands.
"Eeppppppppppp!" screamed Lapin running to Kiki and jumping into her
arms.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?!" demended Kiki.
Ryu couldn't see why she was so angry; "I was just cooking dinnerŠ"
"Dinner! That's my pet space rabbit Lapin," said Kiki.
"You're in trouble now," laughed Taiwan.
Ryu didn't want to upset Kiki and really Kiki didn't want to be mad at
Ryu.
"I'm sorry Kiki, I didn't know he was yours. I've had a lot on my mind
and
then Ryo messed with meŠ Please forgive me."
A small smile appeared on Kiki's face. The first time she saw him he
was
always doing something evil or fighting, which she kind of found
attractive,
but now he was being, wellŠ nice.
"Well, I guess no harm's done. I forgive you," said Kiki.
Ryu smiled but then quickly put his hand over his mouth.
"Hey, what's going on here?" asked Taiwan.
Before anyone could answer the demon nurse appeared at the door
grabbing
Kiki.
"Come on you. You have a scheduled."
Kiki was dragged down the hall dropping Lapin back in the kitchen.
"Ryu help!" screamed Kiki.

272. Sally was about to start jumping on the old people's stomaches to make
them
spit up the pills, when she noticed that the old people weren't choking
on
the ground. They were laughing and foaming at the mouth.
"Huh?", Sally said as she looked down at the pills in her hand.
**Super, ultra, deluxe sugar and caffeine pills!!!***
"Oh no....", Sally squeaked as she started running down the hall.
"Heheheh...lets go chase those nurses with the short skirts!", one
foaming
rabid old man said.
"Lets go find those cute little orderlies and pinch their cheeks till
their
red", said a foam mouthed old woman. The H.O.F.M.O.P.(
Horde of foaming mouthed old people), started to run(wheelchair,
hobble, etc.) down the halls looking for young flesh to pinch.

273. As Ryu Chased the Demonic Nurse she pulled out a Whistle summoning her
Elderly Elite, the most annoying, Hard of Hearing, Old Bittys, who ever

graced this Dimension.

It took the Old woman awhile, but right as the Demon Nurse entered the
Bingo
area Holding Kiki who was Buck nude for about 3 seconds.((The time it
took
the Nurse to Forcefully put the Playboy bunny outfit on her.)) The old
woman
put itself right in front of the Door as Ryu ran up and collided with
her,
his small frame flying back and bouncing back.

"excuse me Miss"He said.

"What?"She said.

"I SAID EXCUSE ME MISS!"Ryu yelled

"Oh Don't worry about passing Gas dear, I do it all the time."She
responded.

Ryu Grew angry."PLEASE MOVE!"He yelled.

"Im not that good at cutting a Groove anymore Dear, perhaps one of the
Nurses would dance with you"She responded.

"YOUR IN MY WAY!" He yelled.

"No I don't get payed, Im retired" She responded.

"MOVE! YOUR BLOCKING THE DOOR!" He yelled.

"Oh, Im in the way?"She asked.

"YES!!"He responded.

"Wellyou should have said something" She responded.

nothing happened for aminute.

"ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE!?"Ryu asked.

"Oh, you want me to Move?"She responded.

"WELL I SAID YOUR IN MY WAY!"He yelled back.

"But you never asked me to move dear."She responded.

Ryu FinnalyGot tired, conjured up some Black Magick and Blasted the Old

bitty right through the roof where she landed on a Shuffle board deck.

Ryu Ran in, Having one of those very Cool Looking Anime scene, His Hair
down
as he walked in, with Black energy Crackling all around him in Lighting

Arcs.His eyes Glowing.

Then he saw Kiki in her reaviling Clothing and Got a Bloody nose, which
he
saw the Blood, freaked out from his Phobia...and had a Dead
Fainted.....

274. Kiburi-san looked at Kiki in the Playboy Bunny
outfit for only a second, then turned away to avoid
the inevitable consequences should he let his stare
continue. Avoiding the angry looks of the nurse, he
began loading the bingo balls into the metal cage.

"And for our prize tonight," the demon nurse
continued, "the winner will get a massage by this
lovely nurse here!" she said, gesturing to Kiki, whose
eyes were bugging out.

"I absolutely will not do that!" she yelled.

"Oh yes you will... unless you like giving
sponge baths to dirty old men... Now, let's get on
with it!"

The game began, the seniors marking down their numbers
with an amazing amount of concentration.

A few minutes later, the doors burst open, and a
number of seniors, foaming at the mouth, tried to
burst into the door and jump on top of Kiki.

Tried, rather, because before they could enter,
Kiburi-san dumped the remaining bingo balls across the
doorway. As the senoirs slipped and fell on the
rolling balls, Kiburi-san grabbed Kiki and ran into
the hallway.

"Quick!" he yelled. "We've got to find the others and
find the right sponge bath if we ever want to get out
of here!"

275. ³Get up there!² yelled the nurse to Kiki.
Kiki was on a stage in front of a crowd of old biddies. She was dressed
in a
playboy bunny suit, rabbit ears and tail. Kiburi-San who was in front
of a
microphone turned to see her then quickly turned back to the audience.
Lots of voices came from the sea of old geezers telling Kiburi to start
the
game and telling Kiki to sit on some laps.
Kiburi-san tapped the mike; ³Err, hello hell of old people.²
The crowd coughed and spluttered trying to cheer.
³Err, OK let¹s begin,² said Kiburi doubtfully.
A huge bingo machine fell from the roof and dropped behind Kiki with a
loud
crash. The crowd tried to cheer again, a pair of false teeth flew
across the
room.
³What do I do?² asked Kiki not being familiar with the Earthling game.
³Just pick out the balls that drop out of the machine and show me,²
said
Kiburi.
The machine spat out a brightly coloured ball with the number 88 on it.
Kiki
showed Kiburi it then held it to the crowd.
³Two fat ladies, 88,² said Kiburi.
Suddenly two fat ladies from the crowd threw zimmer-frames at him, he
quickly ducked out of the way.
Another ball popped out of the machine and Kiki picked it up. However
before
it could be announced the doors at the back burst open and in flew
Maiyuki
closely followed by Teri and Genesis. Next, the three sidekicks came in
and
rested on top of Ryu who was laid out on the floor. They were all
running
away from the H.O.F.M.O.P who were close on their tail.
³Help!² screamed Genesis.
Noticing Ryu, Kiki jumped off the stage and ran too him. Kiburi-san not

wanting to be on his own jumped off the stage too.
³These foaming old people are trying to pinch us,² exclaimed Teri.
Kiki picked Ryu up, lightly slapped his face and he woke up. He then
saw
Kiki still in the playboy Œsuit¹ and fainted again.
Then the gang noticed it was quiet. They turned and saw that the crowd
of
old people, now missing their bingo, were staring at them evilly.
³We want our game,² yelled one of them.
Down the hall the H.O.F.M.O.P were closing in as well.

276. Ryu was being dragged behind by everyone as they ran from the
H.O.F.M.O.P as
strange benny Hill Cahse music played in the backround.

Finnaly they got to the sponge baths, where several OLD Men and Women
awaited their bath.

"Which one is it!?" asked Kiki.

"I don't Know!" said Kiburi.

"Just pick one!" said Sally.

Ryu woke up from his Blood haze ((He's a Hemophobe aka Can't stand
sight of
blood.)) and looked around.

"The right Portal is in here!" He cried jumping into a sponge bath with
a
Fat Ugly Old Women. He was wrong.

"I guess it's not this one." he said nervously as the Old women tried
to
Grab him.

He jumped out and ran to one with a Old man who Looked like George
Burns,
and dissapeared.

"This must be the one" Sally commented.

"You Go First" Said Kiburi.

Not wanting to wait, Sally Grabbed ahold Of Kiburi and Kiki and Judo
threw
them into the sponge baths Head First. Next Terri jumped in.
Then Taiwan, craddling Genesis to his Skeltal Form, followed by
Montressor
who was Gripping Lapin.

Sally was Last to go as He/she was Fighting off the H.O.F.M.O.P.
Then she jumped in.

The Gang slid threw portals that were very reminsent of a Sliders
episode
until they all tumbled out together in front of a Cave.

There was a little Demon standing outside the Cave who said."WELCOME TO
THE
HELL OF BEING SKINNED ALIVE!"

The gang Screamed in Terror except for Ryu who looked again and sighed
saying. "Oh, it's closed for Remodeling, we'll have to move on."

So into another portal it was to another Hell, this one looked like a
Court
Room.

A Demon in a suit said, "WElcome to the Hell Of Lawyers!"

THis time everyone screamed and jumped into the next portal.

Everyone tumbled off and fell into a squishy cold wet surface.

"ewwww" went Maiyuki as she brushed the cream like substance off of
her.

Then they took alook around, there was Ice Cream and Cake EVERYWHERE!

Demons Rode on Gaint Cupcakes holding Licorish whips, belting
out"WELCOME TO
THE HELL OF CAKE AND ICECREAM!" he then laughed manically.

They noticed other people here, they look like they were in pain, then
they
noticed the people were only acting.

Occasionly they saw someone steal the Licorish whip from a Demon and
Munch
on it.

"What is this Ryu?" Terri asked.

"This is the Hell of Cake and Icecream, ussualy Dieters are sent here,
but
they found out that the just would give up their diet and eat here, so
this
is sorta known as the wussy hell, a joke."

They all strode forward noticing a Boat made of Waffers.
"We should use this to try to find the next exit" Ryu said climbing in,

making sure to sit next to Kiki.

"Taiwan!" Ryu said.
"Yes Master!" Taiwan replied.
"Take the oars!" Said Ryu.
"Yes Sir!" Said Taiwan, happy that his master was back to normal.

"Montressor!" Kiburi said.
"What do you want ya Damn Slave Driver!"He replied.
"Help Taiwan with the oars" Kiburi said.
"Hell no! Im not some Slave you can just order to do what you please!"
he
replied.
"Why can't you Be more Like Taiwan! He listens To everything Ryu says!"

Kiburi said.
"Well Im not a Chump like him!" Montressor replied.
"Im not Chump!I JUST LIKE MY BOSS!"Taiwan said.
Lapin just epped voicing his opinion on how he is the most supior
sidekick,
it was a shame no one could hear him...

"NO FIGHTING IN THE BOAT!" Sally Yelled."Or Im Gonna Bust Some
Heads!"She
continued.

Every one was quiet until the boat started being rowed through the lake
of
icecream.

"lets head towards those cherrry's and ask for some help!" Kiki said.

277. "No way am I ever giving sponge baths or massages to the likes of
them,"
yelled Kiki. She and Kiburi-san were dragging the knocked out Ryu with
them
down the hall while Teri, Maiyuki and Genesis with the sidekicks were
running behind. Strangely the old geezers had some speed in them.
"Where's Sally?" asked Teri.
"There," said Kiburi-san pointing ahead with his spare hand. Sally was
running the other way down the hall saying; "I have some pills to turn
the
H.O.F.M.O.P back to normal."
"Forget it, just show us to the sponge baths!" yelled Kiburi, "The
portal to
the next hell is in there."
Sally changed direction and ran with them all; "I think they're down
here."
The gang turned a corner and burst though a door...

278. Two of the demons laugh as they watched the group try to get across
the
ice cream lake.

"Foolish mortals your all will suffer the greatest torment of this
hell. In
six to seven months your teeth will rot and and you will have
cavities."

"A truely evil hell this be."

The two demons go on laughing not noticing Maiyuki has flown next to
them and
with a sudden swipe knocks them over their heads with a mallet.

"You stupid jerks quite it with these stupid Hells allready. Show me
where
the Thesuarus is or you'll worse things then hell."

One of the demons gives a grin at Mai's words.

"Oh you mean like this."

The other demon pops up with a box over his head like a TV.

"Hey folks big Floyd here of big Floyd's 'Hell in a Box'. Terrorize
your
freinds with this handy dandy box and if you act now you can get this
amazing
mellon baller. Just look at this satisifed customer."

The demon in the box opens a small box in front of Mai which seems to
be
empty. The Demon looks in shock.

"AHHHHH its must have dropped out."

"You mean its lose, Run run run. We're all doomed."

Mai looks around the place and sees a little furry creature with tiny
wings,
two big eyes and a small mouth its seems to be humming a cute little
diddy.

"OH its so cute."

The creature hops up into the arms of Mai and the demons starts the run

around back and forth.

"AHHHH she tamed it run."

The two demons dissappear and leave the gang alone and it looks like
the cute
little furball has joined the group and seems to like Mai and decides
to
pearch on her head.

279. The wafer boat stopped at a bank of cake. The gang all stood on it
a
walked, slightly bouncing, along.
Kiki looked at the furball on top of Maiyuki¹s head and didn¹t know
what to
make of it.
ŒI¹ll have to examine that later,¹ thought Kiki.
³The ground is all sticky,² said Sally.
³It¹s chocolate cake,² said Ryu.
They continued walking on and they came to some huge ice cream
montains.
Lapin finally snapped, he just loved to eat. (Yet strangely never puts
any
weight on.)
The space rabbit dived into the mountain and started digging rabbit
holes
and eating the Œdirt¹. Kiki tried to grab him but he was too fast. He
started digging in every hill and mountain he could find. One of the
demons
riding a cupcake turned up next to Kiki and started staring at her.
Kiki
forgetting she was still in her playboy costume didn¹t understand why
his
tongue was hanging out.
³What do you want?² asked Kiki.
The demon was quiet for a while turning to see Lapin digging towards a
massive blancmange.
³Well I just wanted to warn you and the people behind you of two things
but
I think it¹s more fun if you find out yourselves,² laughed the demon.
³What is it!?² asked Kiki grabbing the demon.
³Just that one; Your rabbit is just about to try to dig into ŒIcemon¹
the
ice cream monsterŠ²
Kiki turned to see Lapin dive into the blancmange. The huge mountain
moved
and sat up. Icemon consisted of a blancmange slug like body, an ice
cream
head and a cherry for an eye. It also had chocolate flakes for arms and

bananas for claws. The beast