The Kevlar Files - Episode 1
Archived By David Kibrick (kiburi-san)
Note: These files contain the original text of these messages,
complete with the original spelling (and misspelling), so don't blame me
for any mistakes that you find.
The First Day (5/15/99 - 6/1/99): Meetings
Contents: The characters are introduced, accidents happen in the classroom,
an evil plot is foiled in the cafeteria, a journey into the secret army base,
a dragon appears and disappears, and Kiburi-san in a "personal" situation
11632 words in 44 installments
Day 1 has now been spell-checked!
Teri walked into her first class, JSL (Japanese Second Language)
class. in the room, there were only people she didnıt know. There was
one Japanese, one american, and one brit. Or so it appeared. so, she
loudly asked, as she walked in, "Does anyone here speak ENGLISH?"
pronouncing it EEEEN-Glish slowly.
"Yeah, I speak it." the hippie-type girl said.
"As do I," said the brit.
"Alright. Good to see some around here."
The fat japanese kid mumbled something unintelligible in any language.
The teacher, Miss Shinobi Tempura, walked in, and told the class in
english to sit down. Teri looked over to see Lilly, the hippie, slowly
pulling out a zap gun and aiming it under her desk at the japanese guy,
who was making annoying noises. The teacher began to introduce
herself.
1 - Tetsuya walked into class, and looked around. Well, he thought,
they look slightly more normal than last year, as he glanced at a guy
with a foam skull and a guy with an annoying robot floating next to
him. Tetsuya took a seat.
"Look at his head!!! Kill the rodent!!! Kill the rodent!!!" the robot
said. Tetsuya smacked it with his hand, and it flew against the wall.
The battered robot floated back over, looking somewhat like Wile E
Coyote after getting hit with just about anything. "What a jerk." the
robot said. The teacher got the attention of the class.
"The Vice Principal is coming in to observe today's class." the teacher
said, and a man in a Marine dress uniform with private's stripes on the
arms walked in.
"He's a PFC. What a loser." the robot said. The VP smacked the robot,
and the robot said, "no wonder he's still a PFC." The robot dropped,
and stayed quiet for a while.
"Today, were' watching Saving Private Ryan. It is a war movie, and
we're studying war." the VP said.
"But were studying the Trojan wars." one student said.
"A wars a war, student." He turned on the movie. A few minutes of
shots of landing craft, and then the gunfire started. The vp pulled
over the teachers desk, and began to fortify his position.
2 - Pleanty and Teri were told to sit together by the teacher. They
were to be "partners." Pleanty works alone. 007 works alone so she
does also.
The Teacher spoke, "Class I would like you to now introduce each other
to your partner."
Teri turned and looked at Pleanty, she then saluted. "The name is Teri
Mills."
Pleanty returned the salute, "I'm Pleanty Moore."
Teri blushed starring at Pleanty's chest which well is unavoidable for
anyone to not see. "That's nice now tell me your name."
Pleanty snapped her head back and looked at Teri with contempt. "The
name's Moore, Pleanty Moore (ooc: from where that came from...)."
The teacher then spoke. "Okay class the first word of Japanese we are
learning today is Saotome........"
3. Teri and Pleanty sat, talking. First days are so easy, she
thought. Last year, she had spent a lot of time out of class getting
the VP to calm down and quit running from the enemy. Then a hall
monitor came in.
The hall monitor was a monstrosity, who had been hit with two boy/girl
guns at once at one point (back when such technology was experimental),
and was now a man on the left and woman on the right. "Is there a Teri
Mills here?" the monitor asked in Japanese.
"I'm here," she answered in Japanese. Teri turned to pleanty. "You
may want to watch this." Teri followed the hall monitor into the hall,
and stopped in front of Teri's locker. She opened it, and got in.
When she came out, she was wearing full BDUs. The hall monitor led
them to the classroom where the VP was wreaking havoc. Teri stepped
into the room, and called the principal to attention.
"What seems to be the problem, Private?" she barked at him.
"The enemy...We're landing, sergeant, permission to continue?"
"Denied. Fall back to barracks, soldier." The principal turned, and
marched towards his office.
4 - Kiburi-San watched as the VP pretended he was a
battlefield lieutenant with mild disgust. Looking
away from the movie, which he had seen a dozen times
anyway, he stared around the classroom.
Most of the students were sitting idly, staring at the
movie with mostly feigned interest. The japanese kid
sitting next to him kept glancing over at his robot,
who had restored itself to hovering about kiburi-san's
shoulder, as if it was going to bite him. Another kid
was muttering something that sounded like incantations
to the skull on his shoulder. In a far corner of the
room, two girls seemed to be whispering intently.
Suddenly, the robot started up again.
"Hah! Look at Sergeant Bilko ordering his desk
around! I bet those pencils make great soldiers."
The VP got to his feet, fuming at the robot.
"Shut up, Montresor," kiburi-san yelled at the robot.
"I don't want to have to reprogram you with the
sledgehammer again."
At this, the robot, who happened to be named
Montresor, finally shut up. Turning towards the wall,
it folded its stubby metallic arm and gave the
appearance of sulking. Unfortunately, the VP was
still staring angrily at the kiburi-san.
5. "You might want to watch this." Teri had said to Pleanty when the
freakish hall monitor took Teri away. After they left and class
continued, Pleanty had a thought.
Pleanty raised her hand. The teacher was mildly pissed because this
hand interrupted her on the first words of japanese. Manga, Saotome,
Anime, Ranma, Lum, and Akira. The teacher pointed at Pleanty,
"Yes...miss" she was now fumbling her seating chart. "Miss..Moore,
what can I do for you?"
"I need to go to the bathroom." Pleanty said while placing her hands
on her crotch.
"Miss Moore you know the rules, only in an emergency." The teacher said
in Japanese.
"Oh so I can then?" Pleanty interpreted from the teachers comment.
Bye." With that Pleanty left the room. She saw Teri and the hall
monitor about three or four classroom distances down, but Teri was in a
set of BDU's. Pleanty hid in a corner, then pulled
her Walther PPK out of her left boot. She very carefully walked with
her back to the wall until she was right out side of the VP's office.
Teri: "Oh stop it."
VP: *crying*"....They're coming." Then the hall monitor came out.
She/he/it? was surprised by Pleanty being there.
The monitor whipped out her detention book. Pleanty pointed the gun at
the monitor, "Listen we have never met, and you haven't seen my gun and
you are not going to write me a detention, okay?" Pleanty said in a
very suave manor.
The monitor looked puzzled. "Uh.........."
6. Tetsuya sat, watching as the chaos ensued in the classroom. So, he
thought, the rumors about the VP and that military girl are true. He
watched as the guy with the foam skull destroyed the TV with a magical
spell, and the principal screamed.
"We're dropping like flies!!! Iım the only one left!!!" as he ran down
the hall, panicked. Tetsuya walked over to the TV, smacked the side,
and Tom Hanks fell out. Well, it looked like Tom Hanks.
"What the hell??" he said. He walked over to Teri and said, "What is
going on here?" Teri turned around and saluted.
"Teri Mills, Civil Air Patrol, reporting for duty, sir."
"I thought I was on the other front."
"Japan isn't a front anymore. It is now the year .
We won that war in 1945."
"well, then. Where is the nearest base?"
"Meet me after school, at my jeep. I'll take you there."
"Well, then, allow me to introduce myself. Captain John Miller."
"Ok. Teri Mills. See you after school, huh?"
"After school."
Teri went back into her locker and changed.
7. "Nice hall pass. Walther PPK?" the terrified Hall Monitor said.
"I thought so." Pleanty said, and went in to watch the chaos ensuing
inside.
8. As the smoke cleared from the shattered
television, Kiburi-san watched with amusement as a
soldier fell out of it. As the soldier talked to a
girl in BDUs that had mysteriously appeared,
Kiburi-san noticed that the VP had fled before yelling
at him. As the class milled around in confusion,
Kiburi-san turned over to Montresor, who was still
sulking in a corner.
"C'mon, Montresor, let's go. I've got science next."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Taskmaster!" Montresor sullenly
floated back over to him.
Kiburi-san gathered up his backpack, and managed to go
through the door at the exact moment that the
end-of-class bell rang. Hurrying to his locker, he
shoved the zap-gun he was hiding there into his
backpack and shoved the annoying Montresor back into
the locker. Ignoring the robot's annoyed mutterings,
David followed the Japanese student down to chemistry
class.
9. Ryu looked around nervously holding Taiwan in his Hands.Then He saw Tom
hanks pop out of the Tv..."Hmm, it seems the spell had a side
effect..Oh
well onward to the next class" He held Taiwan and began to chant while
throwing some old chicken bones on to the floor and disappeared inside
a
black Flame....
Only to reappear in Chemistry class..."Bah! Chemistry...We should be
learning Alchemy!.."..
Taiwan spoke up.."But Master, you can work on your antiLove potion you
want
to infect all the magical girls with!"
"Why your right Taiwan!" Ryu Laughed Evilly..The chemistry Teacher
looked
annoyed remembering Ryu from last year...
"Ryu could you please not summon any Great Old ones this time?"The
teacher
asked looking annoyed.
"No old ones..something far more sinister He grinned gleefully taking
out
his ingredients.
10. Kiburi-san sat anxiously in Chem class, watching that
strange kid from history class mutter something to his
skull yet again. Come to think of it, he was doing a
lot of muttering before the TV exploded...
Kiburi-san suddenly decided that this was a rather
boring topic to be thinking about. Instead, he turned
his attention to a cute girl in the front row, holding
a liquid-filled test tube precariously.
Montresor suddenly hovered a foot higher and began to
make a strange bleeping noise. "I feel a disturbance
in the force," it said in an kenobi-like voice.
"Very funny, Montresor. Now shut up. I'm working
with a solution that's part nitroglycerine, and the
composition is very delicate. One false move, and the
lab blows up... again." Kiburi-san tightened his grip
on the mysterious vial.
"Well, then DON'T DROP IT!"
"Shut up, Montresor!"
"But that kid's mumbling something again..."
"I said SHUT UP!"
11. Ryu quickly fished into his handy bag of ingredients,(no mage leaves
home
without it!)and took out several things.He grabbed a big Test tube and
began
to set out his items."A leaf of Deadly nightshade!" into the Beaker
"a preserved Dead rat" actually a rubber rat but it went into the
beaker.
"a FLower from a Date gone wrong" into the beaker
"a tape recording of a answering machine dump" into the beaker.
"a love arrow that missed it's mark" into the beaker.
"Spoiled perfume" into the beaker
"The school cafeteria's mystery meat special" at this one ryu had to
hold
his nose and quickly threw it into the beaker. Then Firmly taking
Taiwan
into his Hand He placed a metal chin strap on his Skull friend and
began to
ground up the material into a nice soupy mixture.
After about a minute he stopped and the chin strap was placed into the
mix
as well.
Then He placed his hands together and chanted faintly to power it with
a bit
of Magickal energy.
The Taiwan spoke up.."Um boss, ya think your only doing this as a
attempt to
lash out your own unsatisfactory Love life?" He asked.
Ryu Gave him a cold and steely eyed glare.."never mind" Taiwan said.
Then Ryu looked at the kid with the robot.."Isn't he the one who blew
up the
Chem lab Last year?"......."If he blows it up again the antiLove potion
could go horribly wrong and do something completely unexpected!!!"
12. The Hall Monitor stared at the gun that Pleanty was holding, "Nice
Hall Pass...A Walther PPK?"
Pleanty smiled, "Yup." She was starting to walk away from the Hall
Monitor, "Oh remember you have not seen anything. And don't narc on me
or I will be forced to get my parents (part of the 00 section) to pay
you a visit. Cool?"
The monitor looked like it was pissing it's pants, "yeah, just don't
hurt me..."
Pleanty tucked the gun into her waist band. "Cheers." and she ran off
after Tom Hanks in a BDU.
Pleanty ran after Tom for a while, shouting out for him to stop.
Tom turned his head backwards, "I can't this place is surrounded by
Japs!" Tom went into the first open classroom he could find. Teri had
now joined the chase. She was dressed in BDU's.
Teri turned and looked at Pleanty, "greetings." Tom grabbed an empty
desk for cover and started to unload his Colt .45 in the direction of
the school kids.
Pleanty reached into her pocket and pulled out a "dime." "You know
Teri, I think the only way to end this is to...return him to
television."
Teri laughed, "doh! And how should we do that then?" Teri noticed that
Pleanty held the dime and put her arm behind her back. Then she
brought her arm back....with a Hyperdimensional Hammer. "Oh...wow you
Brits are armed good?!!?" Pleanty ran into class and threw the hammer
at Tom Hanks knocking his ass on the ground, and out cold.
Pleanty collapsed the hammer back into the dime. "All in days work."
Then a bell rang. Pleanty looked up at the clock, "And now it's lunch
time. Come on Teri lunch is on me." And they both walked away.
13. Ryu heard the lunch bell ring...."Hmm just in time..Now I can try out
the
Anti Love potion in the school food!" He grabbed Taiwan and Cackled
evilly.."Your so Evil Master!" Taiwan added to his evil laughter.
With that Ryu Grabbed Taiwan and the Beaker filled with the Anti potion
and
ran to the school cafeteria Kitchen.Where the stuff they called "Food"
was
served.
(I have to distract the lunch ladies somehow......)..He placed Taiwan on
the
Ground .."Taiwan, Bound in there and scare them off"..Taiwan simply
nodded
which was impressive since he didn't have a body.Using is only power of
bouncing he bounded into the kitchen and began to make weird
noises.."BLEUAGHH!" He ran around as the terrified Lunch ladies began to
scream and run out..
"My plan is afoot! Time to enact it!"
Ryu ran in and began adding his Potion of antilove into the school food
until there was no left..."THe food's already so awful no one will
notice
the difference in taste..Hell it will probably improve it!"
He cackled evilly again grabbing Taiwan and running into the cafeteria
taking
his usual seat Alone in the corner where he could watch events
unfold.."Soon
everyone will Be taken over with Loathing of each other!"
Taiwan as usual supported him.."Your so Great Master!"
It was then he noticed Teri and Pleanty walk in..(Hmmm, the military
Girl
and the one with the gun....Have they caught wind of my plan and have
come
to spoil it!...I cannot let them...wait..they couldn't have know still I
must
watch them to be sure) Ryu tried his best to look natural which is
impossible for him since he is so weird and continued to watch both
girls
for any sign of trouble,sitting alone at the table in the
corner.Holding
Taiwan like some old James Bond Villain would a Cat.
14. Just as David was about to mix the final component
into the vial, the bell for lunch rang. Sighing, he
poured the vial down the drain and packed his books
back into his backpack. As he walked towards the
cafeteria for lunch, he suddenly realized that
Montresor should still be locked in his locker.
Turning to the hovering robot, he said "Hey! How'd
you get out of my locker?"
"I flipped the tumblers from the inside," the robot
replied in a condescending tone of voice. "An easy
feat from an experienced escape artist like me."
"Next time I'm connecting that lock to an active stun
gun."
"You wish."
The cafeteria was already crowded with students eager
for some reason to eat the glop that the scary
hairnetted ladies served to them.
"Montresor, open hatch number 25."
A small hatch opened on the back of the robot,
revealing a plain paper bag. Kiburi-san reached in
and opened it, pulling out a plain-looking sandwich
wrapped in aluminum foil. Kiburi-san unwrapped the
sandwich and began contemplatively munching on it,
staring off into space as he pondered his new
philosophy of time as a giant three-dimensional
cheeseburger.
Suddenly, Montresor perked up again, and Kiburi-san
heard the distinctive voice of the foam rubber skull
from the back of the cafeteria. Realizing that the
skull's owner was probably up to no good, Kiburi-san
yelled to Montresor "Hatch 32!"
Instantly, another hatch on the robot popped open,
revealing a squat taser with an extra battery-pack
clipped to its side. Grabbing up the weapon,
Kiburi-san ran towards the doors to the cafeteria
kitchen, knocking aside startled students in his mad
dash. Montresor followed, the two open hatches
flapping behind it.
Kiburi-san burst through the doors, taser at the
ready. Noticing the kid muttering something over the
food, he aimed the taser with practiced skill,
leveling it at the kid's temple.
"I think," Kiburi-san said to the student, "it would
be best for you not to move."
15. Ryu Turned to Face the kid with the taser aimed at his skull.
"So, you've come to Foil my plan have you..."...Ryu Grinned evilly with
his
Dark circles under his eyes looking even more sinister..He still looked
sorta silly standing at a measly 5'3 and 95 lbs.
"you forget Scientist, I have Allies as well" he snapped his fingers as
Taiwan, who had been sitting at the door after scaring off the
Lunch ladies,
Leapt for Kiburi's Taser with mouth open wide trying to snatch it out
of his
hand..In the ensuing confusion Ryu managed to chant fast enough to have
a
spell ready.....Though Taiwan was knocked to the ground and had
failed.......At the least Kiburi and Ryu were even...Staring at
each other.
Like some twisted Spaghetti western..Ryu had his hand up pointed with
the
Black energy just barley hanging off of it, while his adversary had the
taser
still deadeye pointed at Ryu's skull.
They were going to be there for awhile...."So...we can both walk out of
here
like nothing happened or we can sit here with our guns trained on
each other.....what is it going to be"
16.
Kiburi-san stared at the kid, who was holding his arm
up in a menacing gesture. Unsure of exactly what
magic the student had, Kiburi-san decided to try Plan
B.
As the other student menaced him with his hand, which
seemed to ripple and shift in the bright fluorescent
light of the cafeteria, Kiburi-san called to Montresor
"Hatch 18."
The hatch popped open to reveal a giant, garishly
colored jack-in-the-box head which sprang upwards on a
large spring. When he was sure the other student was
sufficiently distracted, he fired the taser, stylishly
missing his target and sending sparks flying from a
colander a few feet to the left. Montresor dodged
the sparks, careening into a giant vat of soup and
spilling it all over the floor. While the diminutive
student was trying to dry himself off, Kiburi-san
slipped in the soup slick (try saying that 3 times
fast) and accidentally tackled him. Pinning the
strangely glowing arm to the floor, Kiburi-san rewound
the electrodes into the taser and held it against the
student's neck.
"So, you little miscreant, what's your name?" David
asked interrogator-style.
17. "Come on Teri, let me take you to lunch." Pleanty said as they
were walking out of school.
Teri nodded, "Okay I have to get something from my locker...which car is
yours?"
Pleanty said with pride, "The 1969 Aston Martin Volante."
Teri chuckled, "You mean that beat up POS?"
Pleanty sent a cold look back, "yes that would be it."
Teri walked back to the lockers, while Pleanty proceeded to the parking
lot.
<----At the fast food restaurant---->
Pleanty stared at the menu. Teri stared at it too. "This translation
makes the food seem less appetizing then it already is." Pleanty said
to Teri while in line.
When they got to the head of the line, Teri ordered first. "I'll have
a Hapburger with reprocessed cows milk, and extra sashmi."
Pleanty then spoke, "I'll have the halibut tempura n'chips." They paid
and got their food. Now sitting down was another question. The place
was packed..mainly with kids from Oshiba high.
Teri cleared her throat, "let's go to Mills family HQ."
Pleanty smiled, "sure I've seen satellite pictures of the only US base
in Japan...."
Teri looked at her, "Who do you work for?"
Pleanty put one finger up to her mouth. "Not safe to say it in here.
I'll tell you in the car." They walked back to the Aston Martin and
took off. The started to munch on their food, "Okay I work for..well
at least part time..for UK SIS. When I'm 18 i'll be a full member.
My parents are in it, and they happen to be stationed in Oshiba as
well."
Teri nodded, "Yeah ever since the army caught the CIA selling secrets
to the aliens...they have been kicked out of their foreign stations,
and the armed forces have to take over...so my parents get these
documents marked UK/USA eyes only."
Pleanty smiled, "that is one of my assignments. To see that document.
My government and yours worked it out..because they knew that your
parents had a teenage daughter who is military trained and trusted at
Oshiba High and then me who is also trained and trusted by the UK, so
you and I are to exchange documents that have that stamp on it."
Pleanty said in a suave upper middle class accent.
Teri smiled, "Cool." And then the car pulled up to the American base
in Oshiba.
18. The student stared back up at Kiburi-san, too
frightened to speak.
"All right, you can get up now. But don't try
anything." Kiburi-san kept his taser trained on the
rather sodden figure as he stood up, his clothing
soaked in foul-smelling soup.
"Montresor, keep an eye on him."
"I don't have eyes. I have CCDs. And they're
probably quite shocked from that taser blast."
"Just watch him, Montresor!" Kiburi-san yelled. Then,
in a lower tone of voice, he continued, "Just train
your internal electron gun at him, and shoot him if
you see anything funny happen."
"So I shoot him if he puts on a clown nose or cracks a
few lame jokes?"
"You know what I mean, Montresor."
"Yassah, massah. I watch him real good, real good."
"Oh, and Montresor, you aren't supposed to kill him,"
Kiburi-san said. "So you might want to refrain from
commenting for a while."
"Fine, Mr. Slavedriver." Montresor lapsed into
silence after an indignant electronic chirp.
Kiburi-san turned to the student, who had a slightly
guilty look on his face. "You ought to be ashamed of
yourself for... uh... whatever the heck you were going
to do. I'm going to finish my lunch, and you can
clean up this mess while Montresor supervises."
Turning away from the mess in the kitchen, David went
back into the cafeteria. He took one look at the
sandwich, noted the viscous film of soup that covered
it, and tossed the remains in a nearby trash can.
* * * * * * *
At Kiburi-san's "residence"
The house was, as usual, as silent as a tomb.
Kiburi-san's host parents had never had any children
before, and never came home from their jobs until
early in the morning. To make up for their relative
indifference, they gave Kiburi-san free reign of the
house when they weren't there. But aside from hosting
a few meetings of the Oshiba High Chemistry Team, he
had never been able to do any serious partying. 'Oh,
if only I could get up the nerve to do something
interesting!' Kiburi-san thought. 'I'm seventeen
Earth years already, and I've been to darned scared to
go on a single date! All I can do is sit here by
myself and imagine how great one could be if I could
get the nerve up to ask a girl out.'
As Kiburi-san sat and moped, the door burst inward to
reveal the squat shape of Montresor.
"Hey! I thought you were watching that weird kid!"
"The cafeteria ladies came and got him. You shoulda
seen what they made him do! I bet he'll never get rid
of all of those soapsuds."
"Great."
"Hey, how come you're here moping for the billionth
night in a row? You should go and party some more."
"Easy for you to say. You have to get invited to
parties first. All the ones I ever go to are hosted
by a bunch of lousy adults who get their kicks giving
out boring awards or something."
"Oh, just as some girl already!"
"You know I'm no good at that!"
"You can't be good at it until you try. Now, how
about that Moore chick? Man, when she says Pleanty
Moore, boy is she right!"
"She carries a gun. I can see it in her profile when
she walks by."
"Well, excuuuse me, Mr. Espionage-person! I'm
carrying at least a dozen on me right now, and you
still talk to me!"
"It makes me nervous."
"Aw, just turn on the good ol' charm! Once she takes
one look at you, shooting you will be the farthest
thing from her mind."
"I wish I were as confident as you in the matter."
"Well, get off your butt, then! I tracked her to that
whacko army base thing in the middle of town. You'll
have to infiltrate it."
Kiburi-san's eyes suddenly lit up. "Come to think of
it, that sounds like fun. Even if I'm too scared to
say anything to her, It's always amusing to break into
secret compounds. Montresor, fetch the kit."
Montresor left for a few seconds, then returned with
an ominous black tote bag. Grabbing up the bag, the
contents rattling around inside, Kiburi-san set off
for Mills Army Base with an intrigued, slightly
sinister gleam in his eye.
19. Teri and Pleanty pulled into the gates of Mills Base, and upon
seeing that her parents' Hummers were there, realized that not only had
she left her jeep in the school parking lot, but Captain Miller was
still waiting for her. She got out of Pleanty's POS and ran out the
gate, towards the school. Pleanty opened her door, and said, "What the
hell! I donıt understand her."
As Teri ran, she went past Kiburi san, unnoticed in the shadows of the
walls as she ran by, concentrating only on the task at hand.
20. Ryu Finally managed to finish mopping the cafeteria...His antilove
potion
plan was gone..But he had others..and now he had an enemy....Kiburi.
"Time to enact the REAL plan Taiwan"
Taiwan looked up at his master hopefully.."You mean it!"
"Yes Taiwan" Ryu replied.
He Chanted quickly and then let his spell hit Taiwan.."Time to shed
that
Fake little form of yours Taiwan." Ryu said
Taiwan Grinned more and more "yes master"....Slowly his form began to
change, Bones and marrow began to erupt from underneath Taiwan.Ryu of
course closed his eyes..he hated this part.
But Taiwan's body began to form a Large roughly 11 ft figure with a
Large
Skull and horns coming off of it with sharp teeth.His form began to
take
shape.Now he was a more than a full skeleton.He had six arms all made
of
large thick rough sharp bones.His rib cage seemed to extend outward
into
crude long thin Rail spikes and he now wielded several large Weapons
made of
Bone.A scimitar, a scythe, a spiked whip made of sinew and bone
fragments, a
shield, and two hands left unfilled for grasping. However, his silly
looking
eyes remained unchanged except they were larger and goofier, almost
unbalancing himself enough to fall on the floor..."ACK MY EYES ARE
HEAVY!"
it took him a few but he finally got his balance back and got use to the
weight.
Outside they both walked into the night air, into the back of the
school,
into the open field, where they would remain undisturbed.Ryu's laughter
echoed throughout the night air as he began his work with his faithful
Taiwan
looking out.
21. Kiburi-san's kit had not originally been made for
espionage. A compilation of various items he had made
over the years, the pack was used more to break out of
things than to break into them. Every year,
Kiburi-san's host parents left on lengthy business
trips. Not wanting their "son" to get in trouble,
they incarcerated Kiburi-san in a summer camp composed
mainly of elementary school students. All he had to
do was escape, and Kiburi-san had the whole summer to
himself with no adult interference whatsoever (besides
the Alien Control Officers, that is).
Opening the kit, Kiburi-san pulled out a pneumatic
piton-gun. Created in metal shop from an old nail-gun
compressor, some batteries and a lot of used climbing
gear, the gun was a squat, long object with a number
of climbing pitons strapped to the side. Kiburi-san
clicked the switch on the side, and the compressor
warmed up with a quiet hum. After a few minutes, a
gauge on the side creeped up into the red, and
Kiburi-san aimed it at the top of the fence. The gun
fired with a pneumatic whoosh, and the piton caught on
the top of the razor ribbon, trailing a thin climbing
cord behind it.
Securing the gun again, Kiburi-san began to climb up
the rope, the kit dangling at his side. Montresor,
ever eager to improve on his one-upmanship, zipped to
the top of the fence.
"Ha Ha! I beat-"
Montresor began to sizzle, blue bolts of electricity
arcing across his ovoid body. Montresor's arms
flailed wildly as the electricity coursed through
him,and he fell halfway to the ground before he gained
control.
"Well, that was certainly refreshing!"
"Montresor, do a circuit check."
"Fine. Round and round and round and round and..."
"You know what kind of circuit I mean."
"All right. All circuits check fine. Happy now?"
"Yes, Montresor."
Kiburi-san reached into his pack and produced a large
roll of rubber sheeting. Tossing it over the
electrified part of the fence, he crawled over it and
dropped down, making a perfect 3-point landing on top
of Montresor, who had jumped over a second earlier.
Montresor tilted on its jets, and Kiburi-san tumbled
to the ground in a heap.
Brushing himself off, Kiburi-san reached in and
grabbed a large metal flashlight. He clicked it on,
lighting his surroundings as bright as day. Hurriedly
turning down the power control until the light only
emitted just enough light to see, Kiburi-san crept
onwards into the darkness of the compound, Montresor
by his side.
22. Dashing through the darkened after school halls of Oshiba, 'Sally was
looking for the main office.A cloth wrapped around his head, wearing a
pink
skirt, Sally panted.
'That...*huff*...janitor...*puff*..was pretty spry....',Sally choked
out.Leaning onto the nearest wall(and getting poked by the door knob)
found
that the office was behind him.One "HAIYAHH!" later the door was kicked
open,the target was resting on a desk covered in grenades,war
memorabilia,
and a sleeping vice principal hugging an M-16. The day before Sally's
first
day at school was proving to be interesting.
Tiptoeing and picking up the small registration note,he checked to see
if
the letter was opened.Fate had smiled on him...except it was wedged
under
the VP's elbow.
"Just have to slip it out from under there and replace it with the
false
one", Sally whispered, slowly slipping the note from underneath the
bony
limb and setting the fake next to it.It was so perfect.Now people will
think
I'm a girl too, if I'm lucky.Walking quietly out of the room, Sally
started
to skip gleefully smiling.
A peel of gunfire shattered his moment of happiness.
"GOOKS!", screamed the Vice principle as he waved his firearm wildly
,causing Sally to run out the school in terror as chunks of brick were
blasted from the walls.
"EEK!", Sally shrieked in the most feminine voice he could manage,
which is
basically a winy sailor-moonish type, running to the fields behind the
school.
23. Ryu was deep into the ritual now, very..He was nearing it's completion
by
the late hour when Taiwan began to yell..."MASTER! MASTER! There's a
Cute
Girl Skipping this Way!"....Ryu, who was in the middle of drawing an
elder
sign paused to respond..."Scare her off Taiwan" he replied
nonchalantly...
Taiwan saluted with one of his six bony arms..before he left he asked a
question..."Hey Master, I dig the whole evil thing but what's with the
laughter?"...Ryu replied curtly."It's for Dramatic Flair of course! I
can't
be a Great Villain without the Laughter!"...Taiwan shrugged. He began
to
sprint toward Sally, which was at a pretty fast speed for a 8 limbed (6
arms
2 legs) 11 ft tall skeleton...He Ran toward her His sharp teeth
chomping and
him screaming..."BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA!" making sure to have his tongue
swirl
out suggestively..
Ryu finished the Elder sign and wiped his brow..He had been at this for
awhile..He smiled to himself and said.."And all the girlies say Iım
pretty
fly for a Dead guy!" and then laughed Evilly while continuing the
ritual..
24. Kiburi-san skulked around the dark corners of the
army base, surprised to find it almost completely
abandoned. There wasn't a soul around... Not a
soldier, nor tailor, nor tinker, and Kiburi-san was
the closest thing to a spy in the area.
Montresor had wandered off somewhere, and for some
reason Kiburi-san's mind shifted back to the look the
student had given him after he had foiled his evil
plot. 'That student probably thinks he's my enemy
now,' Kiburi-san thought. 'I could see it in his
eyes: He'll try to get revenge for spoiling his
plot.'
"I wonder what his plot was?" Kiburi-san said aloud.
"He was going to kill the spirit of love in everyone
by forced ingestion of cafeteria sludge." Montresor
popped back up at his side.
"How did you know that?"
"That's what I was programmed for, remember? 'To
discover the hideous face of evil and find the proper
course of action to counteract it,' I believe your
words were."
"Yes, of course. But how did you learn about magic?"
"Ever read Necronomica for Dummies?"
"I can't say that I have."
"Well, you ought to. It's really quite fascinating.
Why, there are at least a hundred ways to turn people
into toads..."
"You sure you didn't read The Collected Tales of
Mother Goose instead?"
"You can also gruesomely torture people to death by
remote control."
Kiburi-san shivered involuntarily.
"Well, have you found a way to counteract it?"
"Yeah. Kill yourself."
"Besides that?"
"Well, you can cook up some handy-dandy Magic
Repellent. KInda like that spray-on mosquito stuff,
only it's supposed to keep the evil influences of
magic away from you."
"Any side effects?"
"Well..."
"What, Montresor?"
"Nothing important."
"WHAT?"
"Okay, okay... The only problem is, it turns you into
a girl for 24 hours from the time you take it.
Unfortunately, when the day is up, you return to
normal and aren't protected anymore."
"Well, that's real useful."
"In emergencies..."
"Yeah, I suppose. Any port in a storm... But I'm not
taking that stuff unless I'm in extreme danger, you
hear?"
"Yes, sir. If you're ever that desperate, it's in
hatch 38."
"Fine. Now where were we?"
"Using the acetylene torch to burn through the locking
bolts."
"Oh, right. I'll get that set up."
Kiburi-san began to cut through the door, and
Montresor watched on, a silent, snideful sentinel.
25. 'Sally' kept running as the VP destroyed most of the wall near the
office.
Outside, he kept running through the fields eeking all the way.Leaning
over
to catch his breath, he soon heard "BOOGA BOOGA!".
Looking up, he sees a large shadowy figure running at her.
"Security...", he whispered under his breath.Luckily, he had armed
himself
before breaking in.Jumping into a bush, he threw a powderpuff as close
to
the figure's face as possible.
"BOOGA BOOGuff...Blearegh!?! I can't see!", Taiwan said flailing about
wildly, destroying the bush incidentally."My eyes are my most sensitive
organs!", he cried as the white powder covered them(with no eyelids to
cover
them)."In fact, their my only organs!".
Taiwan groped about, trying to find the little girl that was there.
"Oh my god!It's a skeleton monster!", Sally squeaked out as he got a
good
look at it.
"Ah hah!", Taiwan proclaimed as he grabbed at the noise.Sally avoided
the
blow by jumping straight up, but lost his pink jacket to the claws in
the
process.Sally threw a barrage of compacts at the monster as she came
down,
hitting on 2 of his limbs making him drop some weapons.Coming down on
his
other side, a glint of brass at the base of the skull caught his
attention.
"Grrr...uhhhmmm....rarrrgghh!", Taiwan exclaimed as he swung back his
scythe
cutting off the rest of the top half of his clothing and knocking
'Sally'
to the ground with only a bra(??)on, his face a bright red at his lack
of
clothing and feminine features.
"You....jerk!', Sally screamed as he grabbed him by the foot and began
to
whirl around really fast until he threw Taiwan like an olympic disk
back to
the same part of the field.
"Hentai!!", he said with tears on his face.'I hope it didn't see
me...Nobody
better see me like this', he thought as he began to run home.
26. Taiwan landed back with a large thump by Ryu who was paying no heed.
He spoke in his gravely tired voice.."Master....I..I..scared her off"
and
then let his skull thump to the floor.
Ryu who seemed undisturbed was lighting several candles.."good
Taiwan..I'm
negotiating for him right now" he responded.
"I thought it was a Girl?" Taiwan responded.
"Oh who cares, it's a it okay"..Ryu replied curtly
"okay master,I'll get back to my post" Taiwan got up and went back to
look
out..while ryu sat inside of the elder circle as if speaking to
someone.
27. Kiburi-san finished blowtorching through the door
after a half-hour. By the time he was finished it
looked like the door had been eaten away by tiny
burrowing worms. Kiburi-san kicked the door open, and
its heavy mass swung open slowly.
Inside, the building was as pitch black as the
compound had been. Kiburi-san swing the flashlight
around the surroundings, noting the rather spartan
decor. He was in the main entryway, and the hall
continued onwards into darkness. Kiburi-san began to
walk down it, and upon reaching a set of doors that
looked like a kitchen, remembered that he hadn't eaten
since lunch.
Hurriedly ransacking the kitchen in the darkness, he
finally came up with a slab of roast beef and a loaf
of bread. Throwing together a quick sandwich, he had
just started to eat it... when the light clicked on.
28. Lilly pulled up to "Sally" as he/she walked home. She opened the
window, and said, "Hey, you want a ride?"
"Sure," Sally said, and walked around to the other side to get in (its
an american VW bus on a japanese street, meaning it is driving on the
left side of the street with left-hand steering wheel and the other
doors are on the streetside.)
"What happened to you?" Lilly asked, "Your shirt is all thrashed. Oh,
and nice kleenex in that bra." Lilly said, trying to joke around, but
Sally looked hurt. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things worse."
Lilly grabbed an army jacket off the floor next to her and handed it
back to Sally. "Here, you can wear this if you want."
Sally looked at the jacket with some disgust, not exactly wanting to
wear such a masculine item, but decided that if it was ok for this girl
to wear it, he could too.
29. Kiburi-san turned in the direction of the door - but
there was nobody in sight. Correctly guessing that
Montresor had triggered an automatic motion-sensor
light while flying around, Kiburi-san finished the
sandwich in relative peace.
"Hey boss, I sure don't see any chicks around here."
"You're right, Montresor. In fact, there really isn't
much of anything around here. Let's go check the rest
of the house."
"Good idea. I always wanted to be in the army."
"Fine. I'll paint some concentric circles on you and
send you ahead as reconnaissance."
"Very funny, Mr. Comedian. Let's go already."
Kiburi-san began to go through the army base. Commons
room, storeroom, barracks... but not a single girl in
sight, in BDUs or otherwise.
Finally, Kiburi-san looked into a room that looked
slightly more feminine in the decor than the rest of
the base. Unfortunately, decor or no, there was still
no girl inside of it.
"Hey! Let's ransack this room!" Montresor called.
"That's rude, Montresor."
"Aw, c'mon! Don't you want to grab a pair of her
panties as a souvenir of your little adventure?"
"You've been surfing the web to the wrong sites again,
haven't you?"
"Hey, you're the genius who programmed me."
"Not to view dirty pictures! In fact, I seem to
remember that the original programming did not have
you wisecracking 24 hours a day."
"So there were a few corrupted bits in my memory
circuits. Still not my fault."
"As soon as I can get a powerful enough computer from
this primitive planet, I'm reconstructing your AI
system from square one."
"Go right ahead, smart guy. At least I'm going to get
something out of this trip."
Montresor headed over to a large foot locker, throwing
it open to uncover a group of neatly stacked battle
fatigues. Muttering in disgust, Montresor went over
to the dresser, yanking the drawers open in a vain
attempt to find something of interest. Kiburi-san
finally gave up on the robot's frantic search, and
walked back out of the base.
Climbing over the wall as he had before, Kiburi-san
began to head home when he remembered Montresor's
warnings about black magic being cast somewhere
nearby. Acting on his suspicions, Kiburi-san headed
back towards the school, pulling an ominous-looking
black case from the kit and holding it in front of
him. In the inside pocket of Kiburi-san's jacket, a
duplicate of the vial from Montresor's Hatch 38 waited
in case of emergency. Hurrying through the halls, he
unzipped the case to reveal a Beretta m1917
semiautomatic, its dark anodized finish blending in
with the leather of the holster and cartridge belt.
Kiburi-san crammed the case back inside of the kit,
stowing it in his locker as he strapped on the
cartridge belt, checking that all of the clips were in
place. Drawing the weapon, he ejected the clip,
checking that the blue-painted shells of the
tranquilizer darts were loaded instead of the regular
bullets, then reloaded the gun, the slide clocking
into place with a metallic clank. From one of the
clip-holders hanging from the belt, Kiburi-san grabbed
the fat metal tube of the silencer, screwing it onto
the end of the barrel.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Kiburi-san
noticed a strange glowing from the edge of the field,
the light reflected upward through the second-story
window into the locker-festooned hallway. Hurriedly
slamming his locker door, Kiburi-san temporarily
forgot about his quest for a date as he ran down the
steps to the field at top speed, the pistol swinging
wildly in his hands.
On the field, Kiburi-san noticed that the strange
student, who he suddenly remembered was named Ryu, was
doing some sort of strange ritual in the middle of one
of the end-zones. Nearby, a giant six-foot foam
skeleton-monster was heading toward him at an insanely
fast pace. Hurriedly switching clips to standard
rounds, Kiburi-san took aim at the horrible apparition
charging at him and pulled the trigger.
30. Ryu had been chanting for some time now, but the ritual was finally
finished..the Clouds began to show the signs...ALL Around Oshiba the
clouds
gathered into a Swirling Maelstrom forming only a clear eye directly
above
ryu's ceremonial circle....Then out of nowhere...AC/DC's Song Hell's
Bell's
began to play, confirming the ritual was a success.
Ryu Laughed along with Taiwan, who reverted to his Regular Skull form
and
hopped into Ryu's hands..Suddenly a Lighting Bolt flashed through the
Sky
and struck the ground where the ceremony was with a mighty Blow..The
Ground
Began to Tremor and shake for a few miles around, as the Ground where
the
Field was began to rip and crack and break open.A vicious Gash was
forming
out of the earth..a Big one a Big thing could crawl out of.Something
Very
Big...But what?
A LARGE red Claw shaped like that of a Foot for some Great Beast popped
out
of the Ground Before Ryu..Ryu smiled..Now He would have his revenge AND
PROVE HE TRULY WAS EVIL!!Nothing could stop him now..Not even those
Damn
magical Girls and their powers of Love, he thought to Himself..He
looked
down at his Friend Taiwan and muttered.."it Is Time!" and Hell's Bell's
continued to play on.
31. Kiburi-san watched as the bullet smacked into the
skull, seeming to cause it no harm. Then, as if by
magic, the thing suddenly condensed back into the foam
skull that it was and retreated into Ryu's hand.
As evil music began to play in the background and a
giant monster foot suddenly exploded upwards from the
ground into the football field, Kiburi-san suddenly
realized that he was in an incredible amount of
trouble. Deciding that perhaps some decoys would be
best, Kiburi-san gave a thought... And suddenly there
were two more of him, with identical clothing and
equipment, standing next to and slightly behind him.
"So, what's up, boss? Time to be decoys again?" one
of them asked.
"Yeah. Since you can't really die, try running around
and firing at the foot. Maybe it will distract Ryu
enough."
"To do what?" the other one asked.
"I haven't the slightest idea. But I'm sure I'll think
of something."
"And if you don't?"
"Well, there's always hatch 38..."
"And?"
"If Montresor is as dependable as I think, you'll see
in a minute."
A few seconds later, Montresor hovered across the
field and arrived at Kiburi-san's side with a large,
flashing cylinder.
"Here it is. I've never tried it against anything
that ugly before, though."
"You're talking about the giant foot, right?"
"No, the skull. What did you think?"
"I think we have to defeat the foot first, and then
the skull. You're sure this is the right class of
PAD?"
"Of course. I know my Paranormal Activity Disruptors
backwards and forwards. I have access to all the
databases, you know."
"Fine, Montresor. Just make it work."
"Yes sir! Damn, I love this job!"
Montresor started up the cylinder, which began to make
a strange whirring sound. As the air around it began
to glow, Kiburi-san fiddled with the vial in his
pocket. Then, thinking better of it, he looked up at
the overcast sky and prayed that his plan would work.
32. Taiwan was bounding up and down Fast now very excitedly watching Kiburi
and
his clones..."MAster! Master! What about them?"...Ryu replied, "Ignore
them,
They are of no consequence and the ritual is complete.His pitiful
science is
no match for my Arcane might..Besides the Ritual is complete.It's
over..The
Dragon of Hell has been summoned and She is Here!"
At that A Large Roar Filled the Air..and the beast fully climbed out of
the
Whole..IT was HUGE!!!!! At least 100 ft long from snout to tail, and 20
ft!
Magenta Colored Scales all over it's large sinuous Body.IT was A Dragon
all
right but it was awfully.....cute? Yes It was! In fact it had a Pink Bow
around it's head and a baby bib on.
Taiwan Looked at Ryu.."uh, master are we babysitting Her AGAIN!?" He
asked.."Yes Taiwan..I volunteered..Mr and Mrs Dragon of Hell wanted to
go on
their second Honey Moon, and since they Trust me and Magenta has such a
good
time when I babysit her..They Looked me up..Now I said I would.I mean
come
on, their's so much fun I have in store for her!" He looked up at the
Cute
Baby Dragon which smiled? and licked Ryu once, covering his entire body
with
a bit of slobber with it's huge tongue.She then Bent her neck down and
Ryu
and Taiwan Climbed aboard on to her Head.
Kiburi was obviously a little shocked.."What are you going to do? Try to
Crush
me or Burn Me for Revenge?" He asked..."No" ryu said.."I'm going to
Crush
your House." He then laughed madly telling Magenta to head off..With a
loud
WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP she left with Ryu and Taiwan...
33. Kiburi-san watched the varsity team flee in fright
before the cute yet horrific apparition. Staring at
Ryu and his annoying skull, Kiburi-san began to wish
he had lifted a rocket launcher from the military
base.
"All right, Montresor, now would be a good time to do
your thing."
"Uh, sorry, boss, but I can't do that. Since it's a
beast simply summoned by magic, and not governed by
it, this machine will be of little use."
"Can't you banish it or something?"
"Not easily."
Kiburi-san kicked the side of the machine until it
began to give off electric blue sparks. Now what was
he going to do? There was no good way to stop the
beast, but if he didn't do something soon, his house
would be destroyed.
Suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, Kiburi-san ran
back to his locker. Reaching into the kit, he pulled
out a large canister with warning labels festooned on
the sides.
Running home with Montresor by his side, Kiburi-san
laughed maniacally. Even if that idiot managed to
smash up his house, despite the "protective measures"
around it, he could still make Ryu's life a living
hell. Turning the canister, he read the label on its
side:
Super-concentrated itching gas: will make the victim
itch uncontrollably over all areas of skin for a
period no less than 48 hours, and cannot be washed
off. Use at your own risk.
And, of course, if the gas somehow failed, there was
always the boy/girl gun stashed in the kit for
emergencies.
Thinking back, though, Kiburi-san wondered if Ryu was
as evil as he professed himself to be. Sure, he had
humiliated him a little, but surely not to this point
of hatred! Maybe if he could talk him down...
Kiburi-san reached his house, still intact, and stood
ready for action, quickly swallowing the only vial of
antidote to the gas. Drawing his gun with one hand,
he pulled the pin of the grenade with the other. As
the giant pink dragon came roaring up the street, with
Ryu and his evil skeleton in tow, Kiburi-san stood to
face him, one finger on the trigger and the other on
the grenade's activation button, and wished that he
had just ignored the noises from the kitchen and had
lunch with a cute girl instead. But you couldn't
rewind your own actions, and Kiburi-san only hoped
that reason could win over his opponent's
megalomaniacal, twisted mind.
34. "Yeah, security around here pisses me off, too." Lilly told sally.
"you headed anywhere in particular, or do you want to just cruise
around town for a while? there's pizza pockets, microwave burritos, and
Dr. Pepper in the fridge, and the microwave's behind you if you want."
Sally looked back. "We can cruise for a while," sally said, hoping to
get a conversation going which would tell whether Lilly knew his actual
gender.
35. "Thanks for the ride", 'Sally' squeaked out with a small smile. After
being
spotted, 'Sally' had to get on the bus. If he didn't ascertain whether
this
girl knew he was a guy or not, since it could ruin the entire plan.
"Ahem, so what were you doing out there", Lilly said as she drove
along.Here
was the test.
"I'm Sally. I was over at the school, y' see I'm new and I wanted to
check
the place out, and then school security came after me", Sally driveled
out,
looking just a bit nervous."The big skeleton thingy swiped at me and
only
managed to shred my clothing".
Sally was grinning really big waiting to see the results of her tiny
fib.
36. Magenta stomped through the streets destroying cars and buildings
and
ripping up the streets in her wake.They headed to Kiburi's House, there
he
was apparently waiting for him.It seemed he wanted to say
something.Magenta
halted and lowered down to Kiburi's level.
"What do you want?" Ryu asked.
37. Kiburi-san decided to try the gentle approach for
once, instead of simply blasting the heck out of
everything until the tide turned in his favor.
Besides, he sincerely doubted that any amount of
bullets he could pump into the giant beast could
hamper it enough to save his house from destruction.
So, putting on his said face that looked a lot like a
puppy dog, he looked plaintively up at Ryu.
"Look," kiburi-san said in a conciliatory voice, "I'm
sorry about messing up your little plan for world
domination, or whatever the hack it was. I'm also
sorry about leaving you to the wrath of the cafeteria
ladies. I can understand your rage at what happened
to you, but please don't take it out on my house.
Here, if you want to, you can come down here and beat
me up if you want. Just don't mess with my house."
The student on top of the dragon looked rather
unimpressed, and his foam skull was screaming
something along the lines of "stomp the house! Stomp
the house!" Kiburi-san tried even harder too look
pathetic, but after about two minutes of this, he
finally couldn't stand it anymore.
"Fine!" he yelled, standing up and giving Ryu a
defiant glare. "You know what? I've had it with your
stupid evil plot of revenge! I really don't care!
And you know what? Screw your stupid dragon, screw
your stupid foam skull, and SCREW YOU! Now, I'm going
to the mall to go find some cute girls. And, if you
had any sense, that's what you would do instead of
running around town with a dragon in a maniacal
rampage. Oh, and if you do trash my house, I will
have Montresor hunt you down and strip you of your
magical powers. After all, that's what I designed him
for. Goodbye."
So saying, David, montresor, and his two clones
stormed off towards the mall, leaving a rather stunned
Ryu staring after them.
38. Ryu looked down at Kiburi.."Know amount of your..Inventions could take
away
my Magickal Energy!..It's not some inborn Trait like you Aliens
Have.Anyone
can learn magick..sure some are better suited at it than others..But on
to
more...PRESSING matters."..Ryu looked at Taiwan..."...It's not worth it
Taiwan,We can do a lot more damage by going downtown and smashing up
most of
Oshiba!.Besides If we leave his house alone, then he will leave us
alone."...Taiwan grumbled but looked over at Kiburi and
Montresor.."And if
you send that twerp wannabe sidekick after us! I'll use him as a
Basketball!" taiwan laughed trying to sound evil, but only succeeded in
sounding silly.Then Ryu heard ..the word Girls..."I am loathe to admit
that
in a physical confrontation with you I would lose.And..I could not pick
up a
Girl if my Life depended on it.But I do not care for such trivial
things
like..Girls,Relationships, or any of that Teenybopper crap."
Ryu took a Breath.."I have a city to bring true Fear to!" He began to
stomp
downtown with Magenta in wake, leaving a Trail of destruction.
39. Kiburi-san realized that his brave words weren't
quite as good as actions. Sure, he could go downtown
and find cute girls... but asking them out was a
different matter. But, Kiburi-san realized, even
looking at girls was better than dealing with some
psycho and his baby dragon all night.
Arriving at the mall, Kiburi-san looked around.
Seeing as it was around two in the morning, nothing
much was open besides the mini-mart at the end of it.
Deciding to avoid anyone who would shop at a mini-mart
at this hour, considering that they would probably be
even more psychotic than dragon-boy, he kept walking,
staring at the sidewalk and wondering what to do.
Chemistry! He hadn't really worked with that in ages.
The only problem was, the school only had relatively
non-explosive chemicals, and his parents had cleaned
out his last stockpile on their last return. Well, he
could always raid a chemical supply company... but
then he remembered the last time he had done that.
Jeez, the whole fire department committed to one
building...
So that course of action wouldn't work. Feeling
dejected, Kiburi-san kept walking... until he saw a
rather strange sight.
Parked against a sidewalk, an ancient VW bus was
pouring steam from its radiator. A girl that looked
like she had come out of a time warp from the sixties
was kicking the thing's side, while another girl
looked on. But wait... Kiburi-san looked at the
other girl closely. He couldn't quite put his finger
on it, but something seemed awfully strange about
her...
Unfortunately, Kiburi-san's train of thought was
interrupted by Ryu's rampaging dragon charging down
the street. Spying a cross street, Kiburi-san darted
down it... and then watched as the dragon closed in on
the hapless duo sitting by their VW bus.
40. Teri reached the parking lot and got to her jeep just as Pleanty
pulled up in her POS Volante. "I sent him back into the TV." Pleanty
told her.
"Goddamnit, Pleanty!!! You should have told me before." she replied.
Teri got in her jeep, and saw a giant pink dragon across the field.
Upon arrival, she saw the whole situation. As she pulled up, she saw
that Kiburi-san and Montresor were about to try something. Kiburi-san
yelled,
"Hatch 11!" Montresor opened hatch 11, and a bra and pair of panties
belonging to Teri fell out. Teri grabbed her M-16 from the rack, and
jumped out and ran at the robot.
"You perverted bastard!!!" Teri yelled at the droid, pointing the M-16
at it.
"You got rid of the dragon zapper just to store her underwear? you
idiot!" Kiburi-san yelled at montresor.
"how come everything's always my fault?" montresor whined.
41. "Sally" was still trying to think of a clever bit of subterfuge to
reveal
his companion's thoughts,when the dragon baby crushed a small car
around the
corner. Sally nearly shot the Dr. Pepper he had been drinking out his
nose
when he saw the full picture of the thing. A burst of nervous laughter
erupted from his mouth deciding whether to be amused or frightened.
Looking
at the car, he decided against the former.
Leaping into a tree, then to the top of a house, he spied the boy
and... a
skull with a familiar glint on it. Sally now saw that the security
skull he
fought was nothing more than a henchman skull!
"Get out of the way!", Sally said, jumping on to the tail while
screaming
to Lilly. Running up the tail, Sally was wondering why he was going to
try
to do this, until he realized it was karmically the right thing to do.
"Hey you !", Sally squeaked as he reached the top of the dragons head.
Sally
whipped out three ninja compacts, threw them at Ryu,and watched them
break
as he erected a forcefield.
"Hey its that girl!", said Taiwan as Ryu baseball pitched him at her.
"You cannot even hope to stop me!",Ryu cackled. Then he paused and
asked
himself,"Did that sound villainous or did my voice crack? I really need
to
work on the laugh".Sally ducked under Taiwan as he was thrown over the
side
of the dragon. 'I don't think attacking him head on is going to work',
Sally
thought when he thought of an idea that would really push his skill to
the
limit.And possibly disgust himself.
"Hey wait, I only came up here to talk to you", 'she' said in her
cutest
possible voice. Ryu raised an eyebrow as taiwan appeared back in his
hand.
"Oh.Wha..whaWhy?", Ryu said taking notice of the effeminate features of
the
figure there with him.Sally advanced a step and hoped the plan would
continue to work.
"Well your so cute and I saw you at school and i wanted to know if
you'd go
on a date with me!", Sally's eyes going wide hoping that he would fall
for
the ruse, leaning seductively at him(?).
"I...I don't have time for girls right now...",Ryu stammered out. Sally
then
decided to go for the kill...despite the horridness. Sally quickly
stepped
forward and kissed Ryu on the lips.
Ryu's nose then exploded in a gout of blood.Upon regaining composure,
he
screamed once and huddled into a fetal ball going "EEEEWWW!!!".After
spitting once, Sally proceeded to kick Ryu like a football.
42. As Ryu flew off of the dragon as a result of the
strange girl's kick, Kiburi-san suddenly realized what
he had to do. Pressing the trigger of the grenade as
he pulled it off of his belt, he threw the thing
squarely into the gaping jaws of the dragon as it
opened its mouth to roar. The dragon swallowed the
thing with a gulp, then inflated slightly as a muffled
boom emitted from its midsection. The dragon began to
spasm horribly as the itching gas spread through its
insides, finally collapsing to the ground and moaning
faintly.
"Now, Montresor!" Kiburi-san screamed. At this cue,
the robot hovered over to the dragon, lugging the
anti-magic contraption.
"There, boss. I think the modifications should work
to banish this thing back to its own dimension." So
saying, Montresor flipped the switch, and stuffed the
dragon's head inside the contraption.
From there on, the thing seemed to work like a black
hole. The dragon seemed to shrink down as it was
sucked, bit by bit, into the machine, along with a
couple of wheels from the broken-down VW bus and some
windows from the surrounding buildings. In a few
seconds, the machine hummed softly and stopped
glowing, and the dragon was nowhere to be seen.
Switching off the machine, Kiburi-san walked over to
where Ryu and the strange girl were struggling.
Switching the clip in his pistol back to tranquilizer
rounds, Kiburi-san pointed it at the struggling duo
and squeezed off a few shots, missing horribly as
usual. A few seconds later, the clones jumped into
the fray, and after a few minutes both Ryu and the
girl were subdued by them. Idly wondering why his
clones always appeared dressed like Men In Black,
Kiburi-san had them toss the two back into the VW bus.
Kiburi-san still wished that he could have followed
through on his bluff, but Montresor still wasn't at
the point to banish someone's magical powers.
Well, if he couldn't banish Ryu's powers, he would
just have to learn how to fight him. Whipping out his
Hyperdimensional Library Card, he grabbed "The
Beginner's Guide to Black Magic" and "Summoning
Otherworldly Demons Made Easy." Walking back towards
his house, which he prayed was still intact, he began
thumbing through the books, hoping to find some way to
stop Ryu's maniacal rampages once and for all.
43. Ryu looked around. His plan was foiled.The dragon idea had to be
scrapped
but their would be others.He saw Kiburi get the magical books and could
not
help but laugh. "foolish boy!, you think by reading those books you'll
be
any match for a True wizard? I was throwing fireballs before I could
walk!"
he watched as he took off toward his house."no matter, he'll get to
see
what a beginning adept feels like facing a master." He then turned to
Sally.."you have earned my enmity as well, watch yourself" before
anything else could be Done he grabbed Taiwan and threw down a potion
from
his jacket creating a smoke screen.After it was clear he was gone.
He ended up back at oshiba High school. "Don't worry master, You'll get
em
Next time!"..Taiwan said to his master. Ryu marched into the school and
into
the bowels of the basement.The creatures here knew to steer clear of
"The
wizard" as they referred to him.He went into the area he had carved out
as
his own.his bookshelf and bed were here along with his stacks of Arcane
books and rituals and manuscripts and potions and spell foci.He set
Taiwan
down on his own padded pillow and he himself climbed into his bed, and
went
to sleep.
44. Kiburi-san threw down the necromancy book in
disgust. Science had always been something he was
good at, but this stuff was both illogical and insane.
Who wanted to rip apart toads and do nasty things
with the parts? Sighing, he grabbed the library card
and returned the books. Instead of beating Ryu
through magic, Kiburi-san realized that he would have
to rely on Montresor and his technology, neither of
which he trusted completely. After all, if Montresor
kept on throwing away perfectly good equipment in
favor of lingerie...
Kiburi-san realized, however, that he was fast growing
tired of this ridiculous fight. After only one day,
he had been forced to confront the megalomaniacal Ryu
no less than four times, and he was fast growing tired
of it. Couldn't the kids turn his magical ambitions
towards something a lot more interesting than smashing
stuff?
Switching his thoughts back to teri Mills, he realized
that she had looked awfully pissed about her underwear
for someone who went around wearing camouflage.
However, what was done was done. Now, how could he
even talk to her without that incident messing
everything up?
Kiburi-san decided that Montresor had to be taken care
of once and for all. Grabbing his taser up from the
table and setting its dial to "deactivate
electronics," he ran into the room where Montresor was
trying to descramble a pay-per-view porno channel on
the cable box with little success. Upon seeing
Kiburi-san with the taser in his hand, Montresor
darted out of the room.
The clock chimed twelve midnight.
"Oh, Montresor! Where are you?"
The taser hummed softly, the sparks faintly blue in
the dim light.
END OF DAY 1
Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6