Kevlar Archive

The Kevlar Files - Episode 1 Archived By David Kibrick (kiburi-san) Note: These files contain the the original text of these messages, complete with the original spelling (and misspelling), so don't blame me for any mistakes that you find.

The Fourth Day (7/8/99 - 8/5/99): Tension

Pleanty goes out with a bang, The EVAs are turned back, Everyone is transported to a giant picnic table, Kiki and Maiyuki arrive, Sex-Change Paintball Madness, The ACOs arrive, Preparations begin for the dance

Last Updated 9/5/99 4:04 PM

95. Q and Pleanty were hard at work. This many stimbolts could
destroy the world. Q rummaged through his bag. "I FOUND IT!" Q said
pulling out a pistol shaped device and banging his head on the basement
celing.

Pleanty came down with a tray with tea, biscuts....and clotted cream.
"What's that Q?" Pleanty said pouring Q a cup of tea.

"Elementry my dear...it's a top secret duplicator gun." Q said with
enthusasim....Pleanty looked at it. It looked like a normal duplicator
gun.

"Q....you can buy those already." Pleanty said.

"No, no my dear these are diffrent!.....These have a longer lasting
time then normal ones. Watch!" Q said while blasting the biscut.
More biscuts appeared. Pleanty took a bite out of one of the duplicated
ones.

Pleanty turned white..."I don't feel tooo g---" Pleanty passed out.

<----some time later---->
"Wake up Pleanty...wake up!" Q said splashing water on Pleanty's face.

Pleanty opened her eyes. "wha happening?"

Q looked stumped..."I don't know...you're late for school."

Pleanty didn't feel right...She felt evil, sociopathicly
evil....coca-cola classic evil...100%! Pleanty gathered her
things...filled her backpack full of stimbolts, got in her car and
drove to school.

<---At School--->

<---more specificly homeroom--->
Sally, Kurbi, Ryu, Terri and that other guy all sat togther in
homeroom. Pleanty walked in. Pleanty opened up her back pack and
pulled out a hand full of the stimbolts. everyone screamed. "You are
all my hostages.... and if you try to escape...I have lined every exit
with self-sealingstimbolts that could kill you at any time!" Pleanty
said followed by a demonic laugh

96. The blades on the RocketChef slowly spin to a halt
on their near-frictionless bearings. The giant chef
staggered back, looking at his minced arm, chopped
leg, sliced abdomen, diced chest, disintegrated hip
and shredded toe.

"I surrender," the giant said weakly before passing
out.

"I think you can put away that M-16, Teri," Kiburi-san
said as he holstered the RocketChef and began to
unearth his saucer.

-- The next day --

Kiburi-san was sitting quietly at his desk, virtuously
looking at the teacher instead of the playboy magazine
that Montresor was trying to thrust in front of his
face. Actually concentrating on the lessons, of
course, was a rarity at Oshiba High, but they weren't
too bad if you got bored once in a while.

"Jeez, I wish summer vacation was here," Kiburi-san
mumbled under his breath.

Suddenly, Pleanty burst in to the room, brandishing a
handful of... what the hell were those things?

"Ack! Look out! It's a stimbolt!" Montresor
screamed as he dived to the ground.

True to form, Kiburi-san groped for his pistol, then
remembered that it was still in his locker

Montresor, finally coming to his senses, decided that
it would be a good idea to play dead.

"Montresor, help me take care of this!"

"Sorry, K. I'm currently dead at the moment."

"GET UP, you stupid hunka junk! And what the hell is
a stimbolt, anyway?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Pleanty said with a
sadistic grin on her face.

97. Pleanty looked sadistic. "Stimbolts, seal then they can kill
things! Muahaha! I will Destroy Oshiba unless I get my rewards....and
to help influence the world goverment's decision....I am going to use
my army of Evangellians. (anyone ever watch Neon Genesis Evangellian?)
Look out the window." Pleanty said pointing out the window.

Everyone looked out....all they saw was big bags of popcorn. Teri
spoke up, "Pleanty...I watch Anime...that is not an EVA."

Pleanty pulled out a black box with a big red button on it. "Oh yeah
watch this!" Pleanty pushed the button. The popcorn bags
expanded...."The duplicator rays are duplicating the Popcorn....so much
that it will be huge. Also I have Miniture EVA's in the popcorn...they
expand with it." Pleanty gave out a minalical laugh.
The popcorn formed into Evangellians, covered with buttery popcorn.

Montressor looked at the EVA's. "Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye...this is
terrible." It said in a voice very similar to Alpha (as in the mighty
morphing power rangers).

Pleanty then spoke into the black box. "Now my children Destory
Oshiba...starting with Starbucks....."
The Massive EVA's lumbured towards downtown Oshiba where Starbucks is
located.

98. Kiburi-san jumped to his feet. As Teri pulled a
small radio from her backpack and began yelling
commands to Mills Army Base, Kiburi-san dashed from
the building and down to the parking lot, where his
rather beat-up flying saucer was located. As
Kiburi-san entered the hatch, Montresor flew up.

"Aren't you glad you didn't build me to look like
them, O greatly ex-salted master?"

"Um, yeah, sure. Now help me fly this thing while I
work the all-purpose death ray. You can fly, can't
you?"

"DO it all the time, don't I? Just leave it to me.
Those robots are an offense to my race."

"No offense, Montresor, but robots are machines.
They're not a race."

"Well, yeah, but I can be racy sometimes..."

"Look, Montresor, just shut up and drive, ok?"

"Ok, most glorious cesspit of humanity."

"Hey! I'm not even human, remember?"

"Yeah, whatever. You're still mostly carbon-based."

"JUST DRIVE!"

"Jeez, Mr. Slavedriver. I'm driving, I'm driving..."

A few minutes later, Montresor halted the saucer in
the middle of a busy street. Up ahead, panicked
civilians ran in fear of the giant Evangellians
charging down the street after them.

Kiburi-san turned on the loudspeaker in the saucer.

"NOW HEAR THIS!" Kiburi-san shouted through the
amplification system. "YOU ARE INVADING MY TOWN, AND
THAT DOES NOT MAKE ME HAPPY! NOW TURN BACK, OR BE
DESTROYED BY MY INCREDIBLE POWERS!"

"YEAH, RIGHT," The lead evangellian replied, leveling
its weapon at the saucer.

"Oh, shit," Kiburi-san replied, diving for the
death-ray controller.

99. Teri snuck out of the room, and got in her jeep, remaining low the
whole time. while the EVAs were headed the other direction, she headed
back to base. She quickly suited up there, and got in her Apache. She
needed a gunner, though. her parents were already off in theirs. She
flew the apache at car height to school, hoping to find Kiburi-san or
even Montresor or somebody, so they could gun in the Apache.

100. Kiburi-san crawled out of his newly wrecked flying
saucer a few seconds before it was crushed under one
of the giant feet of the EVAs. Dodging across the
street to relative safety, he cursed himself for
putting the death-ray controllers on the opposite side
of the spacecraft as pilot control. He had been a
second lat to the trigger, and his saucer was already
crashing and burning before he was able to lock onto
the EVAs.

"Where the heck did Pleanty get those things, anyway?"
Kiburi-san wondered aloud.

"Probably from Evangellains "r" Us or something," was
Montresor's snide reply.

Kiburi-san looked back at his smashed spacecraft.

"I'd say at least a two-week repair job, wouldn't you
say, Montresor?"

"Yeah, I guess. Hey, maybe we could hijack one of
those EVA things instead!"

"Yeah, right, Montresor. Unless you want to be
blasted to scrap, that is."

"Oh, yeah, I kinda forgot about that."

Suddenly, Kiburi-san heard a loud whirring noise.
Looking over for the source of the sound, he saw an
apache helicopter making a hasty landing in the middle
of the street. A few seconds later, Kiburi-san saw
Teri stick her head out of the cockpit.

"Need a lift?"

"Sure." Kiburi-san climbed into the cockpit from the
opposite door. Montresor, of course, flew directly
over to the weapons panel.

"Boy, Mr. K, is this thing loaded!"

"All right," Kiburi-san said defiantly, mopving his
hands over to the weapons controls. "Let's go teach
those EVAs a thing or two about the U.S. Army!"

101. "My, there sure has been a lot of giant robots lately. the one guy
almost
gave new meaning to baked Alaska....", Sally said as she watched the
robots
destroy stuff. Covered in popcorn(and pigeons trying to eat it) the
evangelions were hulking, buttery engines of destruction.
"Muahahahahaha!", one of them let out as it crossed Oshiba chasing a
helicopter. Sally started thinking trying to come up with a plan, when
she
remembered how Pleanty had created this menace. Sally jumped through a
window and started to push an Evangelion's leg. It laughed until it
noticed
it was sliding from all the butter that covered it's outside. Sally ran
as
fast as he could and the Evangelion started to do the splits (followed
by
the falls). Sally started to jump from roof to roof to try and inform
the
Teri and Kiburi when Pleanty threw something at him.
"Eat stim bolt!", she cackled maniacally. As it hit Sally's dress, it
sealed
him inside it, a cocoon of sailor blue fabric....and BONK!

102. "Well, it looks like downtown's had it."
Kiburi-san looked down at the wreckage, the smoking
buildings and cars smashed into the ground, flattened
so badly that the suroof of one failed to reach the
height of the crushed sidewalk beside it. People were
running around in panic and abject terror, reminding
Kiburi-san of the Grade-Z movies that came on the
sci-fi channel at around midnight.

"Hey, look at the refugees!" Montresor exclaimed
gleefully. "Let's see if there are any stores down
there we can loot!"

"Will you shut up, Montresor? We're supposed to be
fighting the evil EVA things, not looting the local
K-mart!"

"Aw, c'mon, lighten up! At least we could rob a few
lingerie stores..."

"That would be on you mind at a time like this..."

"What the...?" Teri yelled from the pilot's seat.

Looking up, Kiburi-san found himself, once again,
face-to-face (literally) with the gigantic purple
visage of Grillactus.

"AH, SO WE MEET AGAIN, MORTAL!" Grillactus said in
greeting. "YOUR ROCKETCHEF WAS AN AMUSING TRICK, BUT
POWERLESS AGAINST A BEING AS OMNIPOTENT AS I. NOW
THAT YOU CAN SEE MY TRUE POWER, I DEMAND THAT YOU
BRING ME THREE THOUSAND TONS OF GRADE-AA T-BONE STEAKS
TO THIS SPOT IN 48 HOURS, OR I SHALL DESTROY YOUR
PATHETIC CITY!"

"Um, I'm sorry, Mr. Grillactus, but the job seems to
have been taken already. Take a look around you."

Grillactus looked at the wreckage that surrounded his
massive frame.

"OH, DARN. I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GO HOLD UP A
MEAT-PACKING PLANT INSTEAD." Ignoring the helicopter
and its occupants, Grillactus stomped away in search
of a place with a greater abundance of cattle.

"Well, wasn't that fun." Kiburi-san stared at the
retreating form of Grillactus. Well, he had never
expected the RocketChef to work against a giant
otherworldly behemoth, but it was always woth a try.
It had sure worked against that bully in 9th grade,
though...

"EVAs ahead!" Teri yelled.

Kiburi-san reached for the weapons console.

103. Ryu looked at all the carnage around him and a smirk came across his
face.Everything was going perfectly as planned.Pleanty had been tunred
Evil
by His Evil Bagel spell after all.Now she rained Anrachistic death all
around him.If everything went as he hoped for, She would Otracized from
the
school, lose her popularity, then he would be the only one willing to
take
her out to the School Dance Coming up!!! He laughed slightly. Then
Taiwan
bounded up onto his shoulder, "All this to get a date Master?".....Ryu
looked over At Taiwan and replied "Hey, ya gotta do, what you gotta do,

Besides she's a cute British Blonde!"....Taiwan looked down puzzled,
"What
if she turns you down boss?" Ryu looked slightly puzzled, "Then we
attepmt
to Destroy the School Dance as we have done everyyear, or we...Summon a

succubi like we have done everyyear as well."...Taiwan looked at his
Ryu
again, "Boss, I've been Kinda thinkin, why don't you just summmon a
succubi
and keep one as your girl friend? There all Crazy about you!" He yelled
at
Ryu. Ryu looked crossed at him and said "Well yes they are, but every
Black
magaician has a Succubi Girlfriend or Inuccubi Boy Friend! I wanna Get
someone normal for a change!"...Taiwan replied "oh, well okay then, so
what
should we do now?"...Ryu placed his hand on his chin, "Now we wait, and
hope
we don't get caught, besides Uncle Grillactus is throwing a barbecue
and
everyone is going to be there, the Three Dragons of Hell Family,
Cthulu, and
Lamagra, though he really creeps me out!" Taiwan yelled out "yeah
master!
Lets go!" Off, walked Ryu and Taiwan sidestepping the caranage all
around
them.

104. The fight against the EVAs was not going well.
The bullets from the copter's 18mm chain-guns simply
bounced off the hulls, and the missile pods did little
more than scratch the finish on the behemoths. As the
helicopter dodged around, Kiburi-san fished
desperately in his mind for an idea...

That was it! Kiburi-san finally realized what he had
to do. Acting quickly as usual, Kiburi-san jumped out
of the helicopter, with Montresor in tow.

"Uh, Kiburi?" Teri called down to him. "we're still a
few hundred feet above the city..."

"Oops."

A few minutes later, Kiburi-san crawled, stunned and
aching, from the impact crater, a rather dented
Montresor trying to hover on damaged jets. Wlaking
painfully back to his house, which was miraculously
still intact, Kiburi-san opened the garage and got to
work. Pulling down sheet metal and computerized
components, he began welding fanatically, muttering
slightly maniacally to himself.

"Uh, boss, are you sure this is going to work?"

"It's got to," Kiburi-san replied. "If it doesn't the
town will be completely destroyed... along with us."

"Gotcha, most glorious pile of camel spittle. I'm
going to go watch the Sports Illustread Televised
Swimsuit Issue."

"C-can you bring it in here?"

Montresor looked at Kiburi-san in amazement. "Well,
well, well! So there is some lecher in you after
all!"

Kiburi-san's face began to turn a deep shade of
purple.

"NO I'M NOT!" he screamed. "I'm not a complete prude
or something, Montresor. I like looking at scantily
clad girls once in a while. After all, the Swimsuit
Issue is practically a national pasttime in America.
It's perfectly legal, moral, and indecent, unlike that
stuff you watch all the time."

"Yeah right. The only difference is about eighteen
square inches of fabric, if that."

"Give me a break. At least it will take my mind off
of the impending doom."

"Okay. I'll let you off the hook this time. But I'll
have you wathing the Playboy channel yet. You just
wait."

- A few hours pass -

Kiburi'san thought, watching the EVA
lumber down his street from the cockpit of his newly
developed robot. Granted, it looked more like an
abstract sculpture made of abandoned car parts than an
EVA, but at least, he hoped, the circuitry was
similar.

"Ready to broadcast the command codes?" He called over
to Montresor, who was working the communications
console.

"It's ready, but I'm not sure how effective it will
be. You wired the entire Comm system from an ancient
battery-powered weather-band radio and a couple of
Radio Schlock circuit boards. It'll only be effetive
to an object within 10 metersd, if that."

"Well, this thing's certainly close enough,"
Kiburi-san replied, gesturing to the hulking machine
advancing up the street.

"Sending the Stop command now." Montresor pushed a
series of buttons, and the console gave a low
electronic buzz.

A few feet away, the EVA suddenly halted in its
tracks, it's gun-arm only inches away from smashing
through the weak plating of Kiburi-san's machine.

"It works!" Kiburi-san yelled.

"Great for it," Montresor replied. "Now, let's take
Junkheap One here and stop the rest of the EVAs before
they get to Victoria's secret!"

"You car ethat much about saving my job?"

"No way! I'm not going to be robbed of my
dressing-room peeping priveledges."

"Well, that figures," Kiburi-san sighed...

...and Junkheap One began clomping off down the
street, shedding parts as it went, one lone walking
POS on a mission to save Oshiba once again.

105. Pleanty watched on her Monitor the Appache and the flying saucer
attacking the EVA's. Pleanty took a sip of coffee.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" She screamed.

Q looked over at her. "What's wrong my dear? I told you the Popcorn
EVA's wouldn't last."

Pleanty shot Q a cold, callous, condsending look. "No, this Starbucks
Coffee tasts like crap." Q just went back to work on his gagedts.
"Pleanty, EVA Unit-00 is about to be destroyed by that damn American
Civil Air Patrol airwomen...Teri Mills!"

Pleanty looked at the small monitor that had the lifesigns of the EVA's
(Note it is lifesigns after all because the Evangellians are not
entirely robotic). "Q detenate the two stimbolts in EVA's-00." Pleanty
said really, really Flash Gordon campyness.

Q looked up in horror. "Butt mum, if EVA-00 activates it's stimbolts
it's explosion will send steaming hot burnt popcorn everywhere, it will
also bring all the fat kids out there and eat up what's left of it."

"Q, there must be another reason why you are afraid to use it?"
Pleanty said.

"Oh yeah, it will detinate EVA-01 and EVA-02 and probably kill us too.
I mean that many stimbolts combined with all that steaming melting
popcorn...."
Q said.

"I'll do it then." Pleanty said with a smile on her face. Q just
looked at her.

"Oh do be careful, Pleanty." Q said, then got back to work, working on
the designs for The.....SUPER EVA!!!!

106. Ryu walked along ignoring the carnage around him toward his
destination,
nothing would thwart him from reaching it, he ran like hell from some
of the
falling debrie and hid silently from the EVA's then he found his
destination, Pleantys Household. He walked up to the door and knocked,
narrowky avoiding a laser beam that fired off as he rolled in.Then the
saw
blades hit as he ducked under them rolling down the hall. "apparently
Pleanty has tunred her house into a death trap Taiwan, to detour
visitors."
Taiwan looked up at ryu and nodded, which was impressive for the skull
to
do. He rounded a corner dodgin bullets and more traps till he thought
he had
gotten past them all, however he did not anticipate the coils as they
wrapped around him and taiwan trapping him and strapping him to a Flat
metal
bed nthat brought him through several tubes up into Pleantys main
chamber.
He saw pleanty, the Blonde haired Evil Goddess. "It appears we have a
visitor Q, A classmate of mine if I remeber." she said smiling
wickedly."Tell me Ryu, why should I not end your existence now?" she
asked
sitting on her makeshift thrown. "Because your empress I have much to
offer
you, were alike you and I, both of us are Evil and want the same
things, I
wish to seek an alliance with you oh most Beutiful Evil one" he said as

humbly as possible,He hoped for the best but was glad that Taiwan had
slipped out of his bonds if it came down to the worse. He awaited her
reply.

107. Kiburi-san watched in satisfaction as the second
EVA ground to a halt.

"Okay, Montresor, this time get the thing to open its
hatch. I'm going to see if I can find the
self-destruct codes. If I'm not back in 10 minutes,
waste the robot before someone sends it a wake-up
call."

"Will do, sir."

"How come you didn't call me something insulting?"

"Couldn't think of anything..."

Kiburi-san quickly jumped down from his robot and
clambered into the cockpit of the other. He began to
look at all the dials and flashing lights with
satisfaction...

... and then suddenly realized he didn't know the
first thing about how to poerate it. None of the
controls were labeled, and Kiburi-san looked around in
confusion, not knowing what to do.

A few minutes later, Kiburi-san was back in Junkheap
One, carrying a large circuit board with the wires
still dangling and sparkling from where they had been
ripped from their console.

"Here, Montresor, see what you can do with this. I
think it's the comm console."

"Will do." Montresor tried hooking it up to the other
comm panel, which resulted in a resounding electrical
explosion that destroyed most of the cockpit of
Junkheap One and sent both of its occupants crashing
to the ground.

Dusting himself off, Kiburi-san looked at the ruined
robot and wondered what to do.

Then, in an instant, the world turned yellow-white as
the street was flooded with searing-hot quantities of
buttered popcorn. As Kiburi-san struggled ot his
feet, searching for a pocket of air, he was trmapled
back down by a flood of escappes from the nearby
Weight Watchers training camp. In a matter of
seconds, the popcorn was gone, leaving a melted,
dented, battered and completely inoperable EVA lying
prone on the ground.

"Well, I guess that takes cares of that," Montresor
mumbled.

"Now that we've taken care of the EVAs, we've got to
fix Pleanty," Kiburi-san said. "Any ideas,
Montresor?"

"Well, when I saw her at first, she had some sort of
strange black aura around her. Come to think of it,
it's the same kind of aura I saw on that dude's hand
way back when we were fighting at the cafeteria!"

"You mean Ryu?"

"Yeah, that's who it was!"

"Great." So Pleanty was under Ryu's control. But
what could he really do about it? He had used up most
of his tricks in his last battle with Ryu. Another
confrontation would be iffy at best. And if he had
Pleanty and her collection of stimbolts under his
thumb, than the odds would be stacked against him.

"Oh, well," Kiburi-san sighed resignedly. "I guess if
you can't beat 'em, join 'em." So saying, he pulled
his backup bazooka from the remains of Junkheap One
and aimed it at a local telemarketing firm.

108. Pleanty decided to slip out of her tux and dress more like the Bond
women did. ALMOST NOTHING!!! Ryu sat in a makeshift throne......1/8
the size of her throne. Pleanty walked into the throne room. Ryu saw
Pleanty's stunningly beautiful physique. His eyes glazed over. And
well this isn't NC-17 rated so we won't discribe it any Moore!

"My darling....I am yours to have." Ryu said trying to stop from
Salavating all over the 1/8 size throne or the Minithrone!

Pleanty smiled. "If you want to be mine...you must do a few things
first."

Ryu tried to focus. "Yes what is it you wish for me to do? My
Darling....oh how I wish I can preform to your expectations..."

"You better! Okay anyways the first thing you must do:
1) Kill either Teri, Kirbi, Montressor, or the guy who doesn't post
much.
2) Allow Q to implant a stimbolt under your skin so at any time you
betray me I can kill you.
3) Finally....You must become MY UNICH!

109. Ryu listened to Pleantys Demands Agreeing with the first two.

1.He'd kill the guy who didn't post much, after all he can't fight
back.But
his real plan was he would imprision him in a Alternate dimension, he
just
didn't like the Killing part.

2.Next, getting his stimbolt implant.Well he could always use Magick to

somehow get around that.

3.But this, this was simply to horrid! How could he enjoy Pleantys
Beuty
when she wanted to do such a Horrid barbaric thing to him!

He thought to himself.

"Well my queen I will do as you ask now" he said getting let go
while
grabbing Taiwan. Ryu chanted to himself opening up a portal in the
room.The
portal made a terring sound in reality as it opened and was black
around the
edges where blood filtered out of it, into the air."THis why I hate
using
portals" ryu winced closing his eyes and going through the portal

He arrived inside the school where Jon Mujaki Sat. "You there, who
does
not say aword at all, I curse you to the very Bowels of Hell!" Ryu
screamed
letting loose with the Eldricth Blast as it incircled Jon sending him
to the
666th level of Hell. Ryu sat against a wall and wiped his brow holding
Taiwan. "That was a close one master, you almost were gonna lose your
Male
marker!" Taiwan said. "Yes, now we'll stay here and wait until this
whole
mess is over, that way it can't be pinned on me." Ryu replied as they
sat.

110. Between Kiburi-san's bazooka and Montresor's AK,
they had pretty much wasted the interior of the Oshiba
Infomercial Depot. After lacerating an EasyFlyer
poster in the back of the depot with its assault
rifle, Montresor turned back to Kiburi-san.

"This 'destroying everything for the heck of it' is
fun and all, but shouldn't we be finding a way to
counteract that spell?"

"Yeah, yeah. All right, we'll go take care of that.
But I get dibs on Bill Gates' summer house
afterwards."

"And I get dibs on Victoria's Secret!"

"Yeah, right. Let's go head back over to the school,
I have to pick up some of my gear before we can try
anything."

-- At Oshiba High --

Kiburi-san watched with detached interest as Ryu
banished the non-submitting character to some deep pit
of hell. After he was done with that, Ryu turned,
then jumped back when he saw his nemesis standing in
the doorway and loking none to happy about it.

"So it was you who put the spell on Pleanty and
started this mess in the first place."

"Well, uh..."

"Of course, I didn't think that your spells could be
this evil... but perhaps I've underestimated you.
Regardless of that, we both have something that the
other wants. I want this whole mess to stop before
the entire town is completely destroyed, and from the
way I've seen you look at Pleanty, you obviously have
some interest in her. So here's the plan: you help me
get Pleanty de-evilified and this town back to normal,
and I'll help you get a date with Pleanty for the
upcoming Oshiba High dance. Agreed?"

Montresor looked on impassively.

111. "Loosing...air...dress...really tight....sentence...fragmented...",
'Sally' mumbled as he struggled with the deathtrap that his dress had
become. Checking one of the many pockets inside the dress, 'Sally'
found a
razor sharp nailfile.
"Now I just saw my way out and...", 'Sally' paused realizing he would
be
nearly naked, making it very easy to identify his gender. Scrambling
around
inside the dress he found his spare outfit and laughed when he felt
what it
was. Through a complex series of manuevers( making him look mostly like
a
pretzel ), rolling around to where Kiburi and Ryu were conversing.
"Ew, it's squirming... ", Kiburi observed ," Did you do this Ryu?"
'Sally' hurriedly sawed through the fabric of the dress at this point.
"No, I would've given it tentacles.", Ryu replied.
Sally then burst out of the clothing with... wings?
"I really wish I hadn't stored my butterfly costume from that 7th grade
play
in here... oh well", Sally squeaked as highpitched and annoyingly as
possible. Ryu and Kiburi both doubled over laughing at the neon striped

skirt and spandex shirt that accompanied the flimsy plush wings that
drooped
on one side. His face beet red and barely maintaining a proper voice he

managed to speak.
"Okay, what is going on here?"

112. Pleanty paced up and down the throne room. Then there was an
alarm. Pleanty turned. It was coming from the EVA monitor. Pleanty
ran over. The EVA had been commendeered. "DAMNIT!!!!!!!!" Pleanty
yelled out. She pushed a few buttons on the keybord. The monitor
turned brought up the camera. Pleanty saw her worst enemy at Oshiba
High....Kirbi-San! "Damn, blast, mother fucking....I will get you for
this Kirbi!" Pleanty screamed into the monitor.

Kirbi just laughed. "Bring it on Biatch!"

That was all Pleanty needed to hear. "Fine, Kirbi. I will kill you
now!" Pleanty pushed a few keys. "HAHA! You don't even know you're
dead!" Pleanty gloated. But somthing was wrong....the stimbolts
didn't go off.

Kirbi laughed. "HA HA....No one has been able to match the Japanese
ability to master technology. Especially ENGLISH technology....that's
kinda an oxymoron...hehe"

Pleanty was furious. "We will see Kirbi-san." She pushed a button the
the screen went blank. She pushed another button and it brought up a
screen with an EVA on it. It said 'would you like to create an EVA? Y
or N'

Pleanty pressed 'Y.' Another message poped up. 'Would you like your
gun loaded with Stimbolts? Y or N.'

Pleanty devilishly laughed, then pressed 'Y.' Another message poped
up.....'Construction will begin imedatly..EVA will be ready in 5
minutes....in the Oshiba High Motor Pool .' Pleanty
grabed her PPK and her cosmic battle bikini, and ran to the Motor Pool.

<---About 5 minutes later---->

Pleanty walked into the old auto shop class and saw a beautiful
Evangellian. It was nice Popcorn...not store bought popcorn in a bag.
And it was real butter not this yucky shit. Pleanty pushed a button
that lowered the EVA so she could get in. Once in she checked her Sync
ratio...it was a whopping 89%! The EVA departed to find Kirbi. "But
first I must destroy Oshiba High School! This will be my final stand!"
Pleanty ran away from the school about 2000 feet away. She then fired
her gun. 2 Stimbolts shot out! They leveled the school. Reducing
everyone's bonk to -50 (basicly dead).

Pleanty then continued on to find Kirbi...but an Appache Hilocopter
just poped up on Pleanty's radar....

113. "What the... ? Where the hell am I?"

"I believe," Montresor said distastefully, "that we're
in the depths of Hell or some equally abominable
place."

"But we're not dead?"

"Not exactly. We were caught in Ryu's vortex when he
did that escape spell just moments before the
stimbolts completely destroyed Oshiba High for the
third time this month, making it statistically
irregular. It is, on average, only completely leveled
once a month."

"Get back to the whole 'escape spell' thing."

"Well, it seems that the only easy place for Ryu to
escape to is the depths of hell."

"Great. And me without my sunblock."

A few feew away, Ryu was staring at the two of them,
and not looking at all happy.

"How'd you get here?" he asked.

"Ask Montresor. He should know."

Suddenly, a group of apparitions popped up as if from
nowhere, moaning horribly. Montresor tried to whack
them away with the butt of his AK-47 but it just went
through the ghostly spectres. At a mutered word from
RYu, though, they rapidly dispersed.

Kiburi-san looked around uncomfortably, then turned
back to Ryu.

"Can we get outta here anytime soon?"

"I can answer that," Montresor replied. "The vortex
to the real world is still open." He pointed to a
large opening only a few feet away. "If we go through
that, then we should be back where we were."

"Then let's go, already!" Kiburi-san jumped back
through the portal, Ryu and Montresor close behind.

The portal deposited Kiburi-san on top of an enormous
heap of rubble. Looking up, he saw the unmistakable
figure of another EVA towering over him, its
stimbolt-gun leveled at his chest. KIburi-san turned
to Ryu, looking as calm as possible under the
circumstances.

"Well, it looks like we're all gonna be destroyed in
the next few seconds... So how about finalizing that
deal? Fast?"

114. Ryu looked calmly over at Kiburi and Sally then to the EVA.

"Kiburi it is a deal, however We will need Sally since her Fighting
skills
are superior to ours." Ryu Hurridely put up a protection spell as he
chanted
and a Pentegram appeared underneath them glowing green.

"Now then, for a trick I saw on Dragon Ball Z" He chanted again while

holding Taiwan chargeing him with Energy as the Skull began to glow
white.

"Whoa Boss! I feel lightheaded" Taiwan said as ryu then turned the
glowing
Energy Ball and focused it on Sally increasing his abilities. as the
energy
shot out and filled his being. "Although I think the power level
philosphy
is a bunch of crap, if it is true I have increased your power level by
4000!
temporarily. Now then Destroy the EVA with Haste Girl!" Ryu commanded
to
Sally.

"Now Kiburi, It is up to us to hit Pleanty with everything we got the

mintue the EVA is decimated, we won't get a second chance if I
anticipate
what her next move is going to be.Pleanty has gone beyond the original
Evil
spell I put on her, now she is truly Evil herself without the spell's
help.So I will distract her while you use your scientific skills to
create a
pyschological device we can use on her to nullify her senses, giving us
time
to come up with another option"

Ryu waited For Kiburis reply as he quickly began chanting and drawing
mystical symbols on the floor, preparing many attack spell.

115. 'Sally' noticed he was glowing as he rushed to fight the EVA.
"So I have some sort of high power. Well I've always wondered what
being a
magical girl is like....", Sally cheerily mumbled under his breath.
Rippping
out the flagpole from in front of the school, Sally jumped all the way
up to
the EVA's head and speared it through the side. Then Sally began to run
fast
until the bolt holding the head on was unscrewed, swinging the pole to
launch the head into the stratosphere or maybe into the next town
over.But
the thing was still going!
"Hmmm, maybe i should sit in a still shot building up the energy for a
gigantic 'spirit bomb' only to be steppped on by the EVA for the next
15
minutes. Nahh.", Sally stated as he hurtled in his neon butterfly
costume at
the Eva, then, changing direction dived down the neck. A gigantic neon
greeen laser followed her, slicing the Eva in half causing light to
pour out
of it and eventually causing a near nuclear looking explosion.
'Sally' stood triumphantly on the defeated mecha with a wide grin until
a
man carrying a paper in his hand came to her.
"This is the bill from Industrial Light and Magic", the man said
calmly.
Sally briefly glanced at the paper, then feinted.

116. Pleanty turned on her loud speaker. "Citizens of Oshiba, since no
one has met my demands I will destroy all of Oshiba. I really didn't
want to but you left me no choice!"

Many people were at the train station trying to flee the city. The
only train that was in the station was the Galaxy Express 999.
Pleanty's EVA took off after it. And when it started to take
off....Pleanty fired a burst of Stimbolts at it. The Train blew up.

Pleanty got back on the loudspeaker. "See I'm not joking here people.
You have pushed me to the edge of my limits....May I see you in Anime
hell, where Casshan the Robot hunter, Sailor Moon, and all the Pokeman
go to die! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Pleanty pushed a button on her
EVA. Every stimbolt in town blew up.

117. The multiple blasts shook the remainder of the school
throwing the defiant trio to the ground. Kiburi-san
struggled to his feet a moment later, then hurried
over to Ryu, who had ben knocked unconscious from the
blast.

"He's not dead, is he Montresor?"

"No, he'll be fine. Lemme just use some smelling
salts here..." Montresor produced a small bottle from
one of his hatches and waved it under Ryu's nose. Ryu
took one sniff, then jumped up with a start, sneezing
uncontrollably.

"Whoops, wrong bottle. Let's see, what did I use...
Cayenne pepper?"

A few seconds later, Montresor was zooming away across
the rubble, dodging energy bolts from an infuriated
Ryu.

Kiburi-san, meanwhile, walked over to stare at the
EVA. Its remaining magazine of stimbolts had all gone
off at once, practically vaporizing the upper half.

"Where's Pleanty?" sally wondered.

"I think we're probably breating in parts of her right
now, I'm afraid. Nothing even remotely human could
have survived a blast of that magnitude."

"Oh YUCK!"

As Sally leaned over to rethc at the base of the EVA,
Kiburi-san stood at attention, regarding the robot
with muted sadness.

"Rest in peace, Pleanty," Kiburi-san said, watching as
a ray of light broke through the storm clouds above,
illuminating the EVA like a divine ray of hope sent
down from the heavens. "Rest in peace."

Turning away, Kiburi-san walked down from the pile of
rubble and, with scarely a look back, continued on
into the ruins of the city.

Kiburi-san's house was mostly intact, the only damage
being a completely vaporized utility shed. Unlocking
the door, Kiburi-san went into the kitchen, then
slumped down in a chair, his head in his hands.

<What a mess,> he thought. <The entire town is in
ruins, Teri is MIA, Pleanty practically commited
suicide, Ryu is pissed at Montresor again, and the
school dance is in two weeks. How could this possibly
get any worse?>

And then the doorbell rang.

118. Sally was sitting in front of the door when Kiburi opened.
"Hi", Sally squeaked, "May I come in?". Kiburi let Sally in warily.
"Okay, there are no threats to Oshiba now, sooo what are you doing
here?",
Kiburi asked, not really sure Sally was going to attack him or not.
Sally
shook his head back and forth.
"I just wondered if it was alright if i hang out with you for a
while?",
Sally asked as innocently as he could manage. "I'm sick of fighting
with a
lot of my classmates. In other words... could we maybe.... be
friends?",
Sally asked as her eyes to turned gigantic and her eyes looked watery.
"Maybe when the town's rebuilt we can go to an arcade or something."
As Kiburi's mouth began to open in answer, both were teleported to the
top
of a mammoth picnic table, with a smaller picnic table on top of it. At
the
giant table sat the Dragon's of Hell and their baby, the winged
octopus-headed dragon Great Cthulhu, an Eva that had mysteriously
survived,
Godzilla, and the Jolly green Giant. The hulking form of Grillactus,
Barbecuer of Worlds was using his minion, the Silver Spatula, to flip
around
some elephants, cows, and whales.
"WELCOME TO THE BARBECUE OF THE GREAT GRILLACTUS! I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO

BARBECUE THE WORLD, FOR IT IS PAST IT'S EXPIRATION DATE. CARE FOR SOME
BURGERS?", Grillactus said with a grin.

119. "What? Where am I? What burgers?" Kiburi-san
was saying this quite a lot lately, except for the
burgers part.

"WELL? DO YOU WANT SOME OR DON'T YOU?"

"Uh, sure, whatever..."

"HERE YOU GO." Grillactus dropped a plate that looked
more like a serving platter down in front of
Kiburi-san. On top of it was a humongous burger.

"Well, I haven't eaten since the EVA stuff started,
so..."

The hamburger was gone inside of ten minutes.

"So," Kiburi-san said, "About that whole friendship
thing... I'm still not sure. But before we discuss
that, something's been troubling me. There's the
faintest thought, that's been lingering in my mind
ever since I started working at Victoria's Secret.
There's something about your chest..."

"Huh?" Sally wondered how Kiburi-san could ever have
re-remembered his secret.

"That's it! Your bust size is too big for your bra.
You need a size B, I think."

"Oh." Sally secretly heaved a sigh of relief.

Just then, Montresor popped up from under the picnic
table.

"Gee, I thought it was because Sally's a guy dressed
up as a woman."

"What?" Kiburi-san's eyes narrowed with suspicion, as
Sally began to beat Montresor to an oily mettalic
pulp.

120. Ryu sat wearing his official "Shintao priest" outfit and listened to
the
words of the Great preist Katsoheto or "grandpa" as everyone called
him.
"Now then Ryu, Im glad I was able to find someone with your knowlege in
the
field of the occult to help out around the Masaki shrine, ever since my

Grandson Tenchi went off to college, I have been slightly overtaxed"
Ryu
looked up with a smile "Sure thing Grandpa! No trouble at all! What are
we
gonna do first? Banish some demons? excersie a House? Sanctify a
Graveyard?"
He asked excitedly.

Grandpa regareded Ryu calmly and said "you are going to rake all the
leaves in front of the shrine while I practice my Haiku." Grandpa said
tossing Ryu a Rake.

Ryu sighed as Katsoheto walked back into the shrine and he began to
rake
leaves. "well the pay is good, and the food is free, and man can that
little
Sasami Girl cook!!"

He went about his buisness raking leaves for an hour or so.Just when
he
finished he found himself teleported right onto Grillactuse's Huge
picnic
table, staring at Sally and Kiburi who was pulverising Montressor. Then
He
relised that he was sitting their in Shinto priest clothing!

121. Sally used her free hand to cover Montresor's speaker while using the
other
to pummel him.
"Oh, he didn't say anything at all heh heh", Sally tittered nervously.
Kiburi raised an eyebrow. Montresor used an EMP and made Sally's hair
stand
on end as the robot started to electrocute him. Sally flipped
backward's
away from the robot, ran to the giant lemonade pitcher at high speed,
lifted
it, and poured lemonade on Montresor as he began to fire up another
bolt.
There was a small fizzle and pop as the robot fried itself.
"Oh, me loves up there in me fridgidaire, its been 12 years today. they
said
I'd never keep her, but she's kept quite well, I'd say.", Montresor
babbled,
smoking, before he went into renditions of Daisy and the Macarena.
Sally stood up charred and soaked in lemonade, triumphant.
"Hey I thought you wanted to be friends.", Kiburi stated with a bit of
malice. "I mean, sure Montresor probably deserved it, if not for what
he
said then something else. Wait a second did he just say....?", Kiburi
San
began .
"Hey is that Ryu hiding behind that ketchup bottle over there?", Sally
asked, attempting to sneak away as Kiburi turned to look.

122. Teri got out of the helicopter and cake, in her flight suit. She
left her helmet in the cockpit. She decided she was really going to
have to get around to hitting the mall to retrieve her Jeep.

She saw that Ryu was dressed in tranquil, calm, shinto clothing.
oddly, Kiburi was actually talking to a girl. He didn't have much
problem doing it. His job seemed to be doing wonders for his shyness
problem. The huge cook leaned over. "Want a burger?" it asked.

"Sure."

123. Kiburi-san stared at Ryu in the Shinto priest
outfit, and then realized he had no idea what it was.
Or, for that matter, what Ryu was doing there, or
where Teri was, or where he happened to be, or why
Montresor was looking so pathetic. Okay, he did know
the answer to that last one. But what was really
going on?

He turned to Ryu.

"Do you have any idea what's going on around here?"

"None whatsoever."

"Well, isn't that just great. At least Oshiba isn't
being torn apart." Muttering under his breath,
Kiburi-san turned back to the picnic table in search
of dessert.

Just then, a helicopter came zooming in from nowhere
and buried itself in a gigantic pound cake a few feet
away from the small picnic table. A few minutes
later, Teri dug her way out of the side of the thing
and walked over to the picnic table.

"Fancy meeting you here..."

"Can someone tell me what's going on here?" Kiburi-san
said to nobody in particular.

124. Kiburi-san was getting bored with sitting around a
picnic table wondering hwat was going on, so he
decided to take a look around. Jumping off of the
large picnic table while everyone else was trying to
sort things out, he began to wander around the area.
It was decently forested, and Kiburi-san was beginning
to get lost. Soon, however, he came to a clearing...
and stopped

A few feet away, the ground dropped completely away.
Leaning over to the side, he looked down... and saw
the lights and bustle of a large metropolitan city far
below. It was then that he realized that the whole
picnic-island was some sort of giant airliner, casting
a dark shadow over a good portion of Tokyo!

Deciding to get a look at the propulsion systems of
the craft, Kiburi-san began to lower himself down
towards whatever lay beneath the island, but the soil
was relatively loose and his hands slipped. Realizing
what had happened, Kibuir-san tried to refrain from
screaming as he feel towards the city far below.

125. Ryu heard the yelling of a Kiburi as he began to slip off. Having No
idea
what was going on, but having his Shintao Disipline Guide him he ran
forward
as Kiburi slipped and held onto the edge with one Finger.

Kiburi's face seemed to not be to happy to see you Ryu at First."What
are
you going to do? Step on my Fingers Ryu?" he asked. Ryu replied with
"No, Im
a Priest right now so I have to do good things until 5:00 when Im off
and I
can be evil again." He reached down and pulled Kiburi up, which was a
struggle considering Ryu's lack of a physical prowess.

Panting and sweating they both sat at the edge looking over at Tokyo.
"I
wonder if the Sailor scouts Live there? They are my truest villians,
the
ones who started the dreaded form of pink Magick".

126. "Pink magic? Now that sounds evil."

Kiburi-san turned to look at Ryu.

"Well, you saved my life, so I guess I'm in your debt.
I'd still help on that Pleanty thing if she was still
here, but..."

Kiburi-san turned away again, not knowing what to say.
He didn't want to get Ryu pissed off, not so soon
after that mess with Pleanty.

Looking down, however, he noticed that something
seemed a little wrong. Instead of the giant skyline
of downtown Tokyo, there was nothing but a large body
of water.

And that, he noticed, was where this floating island
happened to be heading.

127. Kiburi-san watched as the island touched down in
the middle of the lake. After nothing further
happened, he walked back to the picnic tables.

"THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME OFR THE BARBEQUE,"
Grillactus was saying to the audience. "REGRETFULLY,
THOUGH, I MUST REFUEL MY SHIP FROM THIS LAKE. I WILL
ALL TRANSPORT YOU BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL PLACES."

There was a strange whirring noise, and Kiburi-san
suddenly found himself where the pile of rubble would
have been, except that the school had been rebuilt in
the meantime. Instead, he found himself beamed down
almost on top of a female nude model for the Oshiba
High art program. The students and teachers gasped in
horror, and the model screamed and socked Kiburi-san
in the face, causing him to topple backwards into the
center row of easels, sending art supplies and
students flying.

A few minutes later, he was forcefully kicked into the
hall by the art teacher, his clothes and body a mosaic
of chaotic colors from the spilled paint. Groaning
from where the impacts had begun to cause a number of
nhasty bruises, he stumbled into homeroom and
collapsed at his desk, not generating as much
attention as he would have expected. Instead, all
eyes were focused on the teacher, who was introducing
two newcomers at the front of the room.

128. �Hee hee this is going be so cool,� said Kiki with a mad scientist
type
laugh.
Kiki is a 16 year old girl from the planet Sockomi. Everyone on this
planet
have certain powers such as lasers shooting attacks, personal shields
and
teleporting abilities, but Kiki had something more, she was a cross
between
an ultra genius and a mad scientist. She loved inventing things and
being a
genius in general.
Kiki was in her small spaceship, her hands hovering over two blue
floating
crystal balls which were the controls. She brushed a hand through her
purple
hair then looked down at Lapin sleeping. Lapin was a space rabbit,
these
small white creatures with big eyes and floppy ears can only be
classified
as stupid. They are similar to Earth rabbits but make weird squeaking
sounds
and are twice as dumb. She had it in her lab, back home, as a test
subject
but she came attached to it and kept it as a pet.
Kiki checked the ship�s sub-space output then stood up; �Now I can test
out
my new Super Star Warp Drive, it should work according to the computer
models.�
She pressed a few buttons on a newly installed control panel and some
monitors started glowing showing endless data.
Kiki smiled as the ship launched forward making a banging noise from
the two
main boosters..........then the ship stalled. Her smile disappeared,
Kiki
gave a nasty look at her control panel.
�Oh well, time to use the sure fire way to getting anything technical
to
work again.� With that she kicked the panel. The main boosters kicked
back
into life, waking Lapin up, and the ship started increasing in speed.
Kiki
started her manic laughing again.
�It�s working,� said Kiki sitting back at the main controls.
The ship was now going at a very fast speed, it even seemed like it was

being stretched from the force. Kiki was so busy working that she
didn�t
notice Lapin had hopped onto the control deck and was heading towards
the
new panel. Kiki turned around just fast enough to see Lapin jump on
some
controls.
�NO!!!�
BANG! The ship changed course and started moving even faster.
�Ep ep ep,� squeaked Lapin.
�You stupid rabbit!� yelled Kiki as the ship dived past countless
planets
and different galaxies, into a small solar system and straight for a
blue
and green planet.

129. "Life sucks's" yells the young girl. Her scream in prefect harmony
with
the crash of thunder in the sky. "I traveled ten billion light years
just to
get stood up. Oh he is dead when I find him." Just then a hall monitor
approaches the girl.

"You should have been in your homeroom an hour ago miss." explains the
hall
monitor with a hand near his pad of tradey slips. But before his hand
touches
the pad it is destroied by a blast of energy from the young girls hand.

"I think your mistaken slug for brains. I'm never late. I do what I
want and
you have just made my mood even worse then before. You have ten second
to get
out of my sight before you end up well done." Sparks fly from the girls
hands
and the hall monitor dashes off for fear of his life. Or at least that
what
the girl thought.

In a few minutes the hall monitor comes back out shouting. "There she
is
Jojo, the tardy bully that almost killed me."

"Jojo?"

A large robotic mecha comes out and in the middle of the mechanical
body is a
geeky little nerd laughing like a mad man.

"This doesn't look good" says the girl.

"HAHAHAHA, before you meet you doom. I ask you whats your name girl?"

The girl gathers energy into her hands as she replies, "It's Maiyuki."

130. �OH NO!� screamed Kiki, �My beautiful ship.�
She quickly composed herself not noticing Kiburi-san and the other
students.
She put the space rabbit on the ground and mumbled; �For an ultra
genius I
have a stupid pet.�
A small, floating laptop computer appeared in front of Kiki and she
hooked
two leads from it to her ship. As she started typing she talked to
herself;
�Shouldn�t take more than a few month to fix and I can�t leave it here
outside so�� Suddenly a huge sub-space pocket appeared and the ship
slowly
moved into it and disappeared as the blackhole closed.
(Note from Kiki; People from my planet can make these sub-space pockets
easy
but for one that big I needed help from the ship itself, that�s why I
hooked
up my HMLT.)
Kiki�s Hyper-dimensional Mini Laptop disappeared; �There�� perfect!�
She
turned to the space rabbit; �Come on Lapin.� Kiki turned to see most of

Oshiba High staring at her.
�Arrrgghh where did you lot come from?!�
Well she knows English thought Kiburi-san. He looked at the other
students
and they looked back at him then to Kiki.
�Looks like I�m the elected spokesperson�. Hello there I�m Kiburi-san.�
He
then introduced the rest of the more famous students.
Kiki gave a half bow; �Konnichi wa! My name is Kiki and this�.� She
said
holding it by the big floppy ears, �is Lapin.� Lots of welcomes came
from
the crowd. Kiki started walking round looked at the high school.
�A high school huh? Hey Kiburi-san what planet is this?�
�Earth.�
Kiki smiled; �I think I�m going to stay for a while, how do ya get
enrolled
in this place?�
�See the principle I guess.�
�OK show me the way!�

131. Ryu walked idly around the school noticing the storm gathering and
smiled.
He did love a good Thunder storm.Still the newest books that came from
his
Grandfather's inheritance to him had kept his Magick studying up in
overdrive so he continued to read as he stepped outside totally unaware
of
the Fight bewteen The hall Monitor and The new Girl.

That was until a stray blast hit his book and disintegrated it. He
turned
looking in anger, not to impressive since he since he oly wieghted
around
98lbs and was only about 5'3.Still he did have Creepy Pale skin with
raven
black spiky hair and dark rings under his eyes.

"HEY! WATCH IT!" he yelled looking at the Blue haired Girl who's flung
bolt
had hit his book.

132. After delivering the new girl safely to the
principal's office, the bell began to ring, stating
annoyingly that the next class was about to begin.
Sighing, Kiburi-san walked back down the hall towards
chemistry class. He watched idly as a large mecha
took on another student in the hallway. Kiburi-san thought.

Chemistry class was interesting, as usual. Dr. Axok
gave another of his muddled, fragmentary lectures,
followed by a period where the entire class worked on
their individual science projects. Kiburi-san pulled
out his latest project,under the wary eye of
Montresor.

"Oh, no, not that again," Montresor moaned.

"Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen this time.
And it's an absolutely brilliant plan."

"And how do you figure that?"

"Well... Remember that potion that turned your
miserable metal visage into that of a numbile young
woman?"

"Ya mean that crud that turned me into a chick?"

"Uh, yeah."

"So what about it?"

"I've finally perfected the formula. The DNA pointer
cells work with a 99.9% level of effectiveness.
Nothing could possibly go wrong now."

"But what are you going to do with the stuff?"

"Montresor, do you know what the boy-girl ratio is at
this school?"

"Uh, no, not exactly..."

"Three to one! That's pretty lousy odds, don't you
think?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"So, I figure I'll take a page out of Ryu's book."

"What, you mean dump that stuff in the cafeteria?"

"Exactly."

"But won't everyone be a little pissed at you?"

"Who's to know? I'm not going to tell them, and if
you like looking at girls a lot, you sure won't.
Nobody else knows about this."

Just then, Mr. Axok walked over to the duo.

"I hear you're going to fix that annoying lack of
female students around here! Jolly good show, wot?
Well' go right ahead. I sure won't stop you."

"I know what I must do. Standing up solemnly, he
slipped the vial into the innermost pocket of his
jacket and began to creep stealthily down towards the
cafeteria.

133. Sally was deep in contemplation of the secrets of the universe(ie.
sleeping)
when Axok tapped him on the shoulder.
"Wake up! Sally you know...", before blinking somewhere else. Sally
bolted
up remembering his project, which was a battery hooked to a sponge.
"...and are know probably failing...", Axok stated before another
blink.
Sally really wondered where he went wrong.
"Okay.. battery, sponge....lets put in a carbon rod and a compass.",
Sally
said jamming them through the sponge crudely."With all this science
stuff I
don't see how I'm not getting anything.", he squeaked out in an
earsplitting
falsetto. Sally tried to contemplate what he would do if he were a
girl. He
decided that he would go ask someone for help.
"...with no regard to the scientific method...", Axok lectured.
Sally looked through chem class and decided that there was only one
person
to talk to. He headed towards Kiburi's desk as he conversed with Axok
and
Montresor.

134. <>
Kiki walked up to the principle�s office with Kiburi-San and was just
about
to knock on the door when Kiburi-San said; �Actually I think this is a
bad
idea.� Kiki looked at him, he continued; � I�ve heard rumours about the

principle, no one has ever come out of there alive.�
Kiki was about to say something when the vice-principle turned the
corner.
�The VP,� said Kiburi-San standing straight against the wall.
�YOU!� boomed the VP, �The one that usually has that disobedient robot
with
you!�
�Y�yes sir?� said Kiburi-San.
�What are you doing here?�
�I.. I�.� <>
�He came to help me get a place in this school,� said Kiki.
Kiburi-San sank onto the floor. �Thank God�, he thought, �and where is
Montresor anyway.�
The VP�s attention was now on Kiki.
�You�re new aren�t you?� said the VP.
�Yes my name is Kiki.�
�And you want to enrol do you?�
�Yes sir,� said Kiki.
�I can�t hear you!�
Kiki snapped to attention; �Yes sir! Sir!�
�Why should I let you into Oshiba high?�
Kiki smiled; �I thought you never ask,� <>
�Because
I�m the number one, ultra genius, mad scientist of the universe!�
<> �And I�m cute too.�
Kiburi-San and the VP blinked.
�You remind me of someone,� said the VP.
�If you say Washu I�ll kill you.�
�You�ve got spunk, I like that, alright you�re in,� said the VP.
Suddenly an explosion hit the outside wall.
�We�re under attack!� screamed the VP running down the corridor.
Kiki and Kiburi-San ran to the window and looked out. There they saw
Ryu and
a blue haired girl fighting and shooting lasers similar to her own.
�Maybe we should help?� said Kiki.
"No forget it, we have Chem class now see you there."
Kiki watched him leave then followed a few seconds later.

135. Ryu looked annoyed as the Girl Maiyuki and Jojo fought and ignored
him.Sighing he walked back in and walked back into Chem class late as
usual.Of course Ryu never has real trouble with the hall monitors since
he's
creepy enough they tried to make him one once.

As he walked in he noticed the usual people, Sally,Montressor,Kiburi,
and a
Some new Girl with a Horribly cute Rabbit.

Taiwan came bounding up next to ryu and hopped into his hands.The foam
rubber skulls eye foucsed in on the rabbit as he said "Hey Master! Can
I eat
that? It looks Good?"

ryu sighed and looked down at Taiwan. "Taiwan you know you can never
digest
anything, but since I think it's your evil side getting the better of
you,
go for it!"

Taiwan bounded out of Ryu's hands and began to bounce toward the Cute
little
bunny with his tounge hanging out the side of his mouth, and his Big
plastic
eyes jiggling like Crazy. "Come Here Ya Tasty Little Morsel!!!!"

Ryu then sat down to his Desk, which stood out against all the others
since
it was made of Stone, and instead of science Text books or Equipment,
it had
mystical carvings drawn into it, and a Table of the Alchemical
formula's.
"those Fools! I will prove the superiority of Magick over Science!!"
Ryu
exclaimed, all while Taiwan went after Lapin.

136. Kiki walked into chem� class with Lapin hopping behind. She found
an
empty seat and glanced around at the students she had in her class.
Most of
them looked human in type. She looked at a few chemicals in front of
her on
the desk.
�This is pathetic I was doing stuff like this when I was five. Oh well
I�ll
just get on with something of my own.�
Kiki opened a sub-space pocket next to herself, put her arm in it and
took
out a handful of glass flasks and chem� tubes each with strange
coloured
liquids in them. Just as she was starting the mix some of them she
noticed
Lapin was staring across the room.
�What is Lapin?�
�Epp.�
Kiki looked over and saw a small robot floating over the kid who showed
her
the way the the princible�s office. Kiki�s eyes lit up.
�Very interseting, basic but interseting. I wonder if he made it
himself?�
Kiki suddenly became very intersted in him.
�I wonder what he�s doing with those chemicals he has there?�
Then some strange girl, that Kiki thought was actually a boy, walked
over to
him and the robot.
�This planet is intersting,� smiled Kiki. Lapin just looked up at her
and
said; �Ep ep.�

137. But before he could get out the door...

...he realized that a few more tests were in order.

"All right, Montresor, Drink up, That's a good robot,"
Kiburi-san said to Montresor, handing him one of the
vials.

"Over my deactivated body, Mr.
nuttier-that-a-stoned-squirrel!"

"Do you know how much sense that made, Montresor?"

"Who cares? I'm not going through that crap again.
It was bad enough the first time. I like to ogle
igrls, not be them!"

"And if there wasn't a gaping flaw in your
programming, you wouldn't be ogling them either! Ever
heard of the robot's code?"

"Yeah, yeah, 'to serve and protect and not be
lecherous and mean and annoying.' Good thing you
forgot to add it."

"Hey, c'mon, I was rushed. remember, I was fleeing
for my life?"

"Uh huh. Anyway, I'm still not taking any of it."

"Oh well." Kiburi-san hung his head in despair. "Now
who am I going to test it on?"

Just then, he noticed Sally coming up to his desk.

"Hey, isn't that the... ?" Montresor began.

"You're right. Things may work out fine after all."

"E-excuse me..." Sally nervously began.

"Um, hey. Uh, remember that little problem you have?"

Sally looked at him angrily.

"I thought you forgot... !"

"Wait a second. before you explode... How would you
like it if all of your, uh, gender 'problems' were
solved?"

"What do you mean?" Sally asked, looking curiously at
Kiburi-san.

In return, Kiburi-san handed Sally one of the vials.

"Just take the contents of this... and all of your
troubles will go away."

138. Sally calmed himself, even while eyeing the scalpels across the table.
"I've had this kind of offer before and I must refuse Kiburi.", Sally
said
reverently in a whisper."You see women are karmically superior to men
in
every way. By imitating them I come a step closer to Nirvana. But by
using a
formula to become one, I am bucking the basic karmic system. If I am to
be a
woman, it shall be by an act of god or incidence or in my next life. To
defy
the natural order, no matter how tempting, would be wrong.", Sally
declared
in a quavering voice, still eyeing the bottle as if it were some sacred

nectar of the gods. Saying this, Sally began to turn, then jumped in
Kiburi's face with project in hand.
"Heycouldyoustillhelpmewiththisplease!", he squeaked out pleadingly as
the
carbon rod fell off of the sponge.

139. Lily slipped out of the Chem lab as the commotion took place, and
off towards her locker. She had just completed a new invention: Love
Paintballs! she filled the hopper on the top of her MegaSplat 4K, and
charged down the hall in a rather revealing nightie. (apparently she
inhaled a little too much of the fumes while making the paintballs.)

She looked into the commotion, and saw what was going on. She aimed.
"anybody but the teacher, anybody but the teacher," she thought. "hey,
that kid who sold me this nightie is pretty cute," she mumbled to
herself as she attempted to target him.

140. Teri watched as Lily sat next to her filling paintballs. As the
commotion began, Lily ran from the room, knocking the container
containing the remainder of the potion on her. Teri looked as Kiburi
turned Lupin from a bunny into a Playboy Bunny, and quickly ran over to
him, hugging him from behind. Her eyes were disturbingly heart-shaped.
"What is it? Am I not good enough for you? Did I do something wrong? I
can change!!!!" She began kissing his face frantically from the side.

"What the hell...whats gotten into you?" Kiburi stammered, trying to
get out from under her smothering kisses.

141. Tetsuya quickly snuck over to Kiburi's table, and quickly filled
paintballs of his own with Kiburi's potion. Running back from his
locker with his MiniSplat 200 paintpistol, he knocked over the bucket
next to Lily full of extra balls. They all looked the same, and all
the ones he had filled mixed with hers. He quickly put them all in the
bucket and loaded his paint pistol, about to make a bunch of attractive
girls...or so he hoped.

142. Kiki walked into chem� class with Lapin hopping behind. She found
an
empty seat and glanced around at the students she had in her class.
Most of
them looked human in type. She looked at a few chemicals in front of
her on
the desk.
�This is pathetic I was doing stuff like this when I was five. Oh well
I�ll
just get on with something of my own.�
Kiki opened a sub-space pocket next to herself, put her arm in it and
took
out a handful of glass flasks and chem� tubes each with strange
coloured
liquids in them. Just as she was starting the mix some of them she
noticed
Lapin was staring across the room.
�What is Lapin?�
�Epp.�
Kiki looked over and saw a small robot floating over the kid who showed
her
the way the the princible�s office. Kiki�s eyes lit up.
�Very interseting, basic but interseting. I wonder if he made it
himself?�
Kiki suddenly became very intersted in him.
�I wonder what he�s doing with those chemicals he has there?�
Then some strange girl, that Kiki thought was actually a boy, walked
over to
him and the robot.
�This planet is intersting,� smiled Kiki. Lapin just looked up at her
and
said; �Ep ep.�

143. Maiyuki slips in behind a desk she has burn marks and black ash all
over
her. She sits down and looks at her desk of which several chemicals
lay. She
tosses three of them together and the tube they are placed in begin to
smoke
a little but then dies out. She soon gets board with it and tosses it
behind
her not taking notice that the Chem Teach is behind her. The odd
componet
spills her and leaves a strange green ooze on her shirt.

The teacher looks angry but soon her yells amplify by three as two more
heads
grow from the teachers body. Head one is shooting fire as it yells,
head two
is the original, and head three has a freezing stare.

"Um I think I'm in trouble agian."

144. Kiburi-san was disappointed by Sally's refusal,
but there were always other willing (or unwilling)
subjects.

Kiburi-san turned in the direction of Ryu.

"Hey Taiwan, want to try something fun?"

"I don't think so, you crazed mad-scientist person!"
Taiwan turned away in disgust.

"Oh, well. Who else then?"

Suddenly, Kiburi-san saw something white and furry in
the corner of his eye.

"Aha! A lab rabbit! It's perfect for my test!"

Wasting no time, he grabbed the rabbit and tried to
calmly coax it to open its mouth.

"Now that's a nice rabbit, here's a nice widdle bit of
carrot juice for you..."

Unfortunately, the rabbit didn't open its mouth.

"Okay, montresor, you give it a try."

In response, Montresor turned to the rabbit and
screamed "BOOGABOOGABOOGA!"

The rabbit, frightened by the robot, opened its mouth
and screamed "Ep ep ep!" as Kiburi-san poured the
contents of the vial down its throat.

There was a sound like a thunderclap, and the rabbit
was instantly turned into an incredibly cute girl,
completely naked, of course. She turned around,
batted her doe eyes, and screamed "EP EP EP EP EP!!!!"

"Oh well, once a bunny, always a bunny."

"Yeah, well at least his one's a playboy bunny!"
Montresor sneered.

"What have you done to Lupin?" came a scream from
behind Kiburi-san.

He turned to find himself face to face with a very
angry Kiki.

145. Taiwan dived for Lapin but just before he got to him a small black
hole
appeared under Lapin and he fell through it and disappeared. Taiwan
missed
bounced off the desk and dived straight into Kiki�s hands.
�What the hell do you think you�re doing, leave him alone?!� yelled
Kiki.
Then she inspected Taiwan closer. It�s not even a real skull, she
thought,
his master must be a good magic user.
Kiki held Taiwan up by one hand and with the other hand a laser ball
appeared.
�Agggrrrgh no it was master, he told me to do it!� said the skull half
telling the truth.
Kiki smiled and the laser ball faded away; �Is that him over there?�
she
said pointing at Ryu.
�Yes.�
�I�ll talk to him later.�
Kiki let Taiwan go and he bounced back to Ryu.
A black hole came into view next to Kiki and she put her hand in and
pulled
out Lapin by the ears; �You should look after yourself more Lapin.�
The space rabbit stared back at Kiki not understanding, then a strange
noise
came from it and he starting ep�ing again.
�I know,� said Kiki, �I�ll feed you at lunch time.�

146. Ryu's eyes bugged out of his skull nearly when he saw Mr. Axox get
turned
into a Monster, one he was sure he could have done better, but it was
still
a monster.

Then he looked at who caused it and saw Maiyuki...Her again. Rembering
her
as being the one who incinerated his spell book, and now seeing her
performing hideous Deeds such as Turning the Faculty into Monsters, he
relised why she was here.....She was here to replace him.

Ryu took Immidiate action, he lept up onto his Stone desk, spilling his

alchemical potion onto the floor which then dripped into the floor and
beneath the school where it would later have some Hideous effect.

He pointed at Maiyuki and Shouted. "You There! I don't Know who You
are! But
One thing Im certain about, You've come to Kill me Haven't you! You
want to
replace me! Well Im telling you I won't have it! There's only room for
One
Black Magician In this school and I fill that role!!!" with that he sat
back
down but kept one eye on Maiyuki, expecting her to be capable of
anything...

Meanwhile Taiwan noticed the little rabbit he was chasing earlier get
turned
into Hot Naked Girl and took action. He bounded over at her, eyes
bouncing
around the whole time and lept up nuzzling himself right into her
cleavage!!
Then looking up at her he said.."Hey there babe, ya got date for the
school
Dance yet?"

147. After Kiburi was tackled, Sally realized this wasn't helping his
project at
all. Deftly dodging paintballs and blocking a few with the sponge,
Sally saw
the mess Ryu had made. With a roll to the spill, Sally wiped up the
mess
with the sponge after turning on the battery.
"I've done it! An electrical chemical cleaner..?", Sally mused
hopefully.
"Well I'm done working for the day then.", Sally said throwing the
sponge to
his desk, where it bounced off and landed in Kiburi's concoction, then
slithered into the hall cackling menacingly.
Sally offhandedly plucked a paintball out of the air and threw it back
at
the offender as he tried to nod off to sleep.
The evil sponge was in the hall and had just jumped on the school
janitor.
"Go away you wee beasty...", the janitor started, when suddenly he
turned
into a lovestruck woman. " Oh you wonderful little thing you!", the
janitor
said squeezing it to her(?) chest.

148. �What have you done to my poor Lapin. You turned him into a human
of the
opposite sex!�
Kiki turned to the naked girl; �Well it seemed to have worked quite
well,
and he�errr she does looks cute. But why does she have three
breasts���.Taiwan! Get off her!�
The skull jumped out onto the desk.
�Ep,� said Lapin.
�Now where was I, oh yeah, I was pissed off.�
Kiki turned round to Kirburi-san (Who had Teri attached to him) and
grabbed
him by the shirt; �YOU! I kind of liked you but now�..�
As Kiki was balling Kirburi out she didn�t notice Lilly pointing a
paintball
gun at her.
�Make love not war,� said Lilly pulling the trigger.
<>
Kiki stopped and looked deep into Kirburi�s eyes.
�Why are you looking at me like that?�
�Kurby darling kiss me!� Kiki and Teri dived onto Kiruri-san.

149. Kiburi-san was nearly immobilized. With both Kiki
and Teri practically on top of him, it was all he
could do to dodge the paintballs that were zipping
around the room.

Kiburi-san watched as one of the paintballs hit Dr.
Axok, who suddenly turned into another incredibly cute
woman. Realizing that his experiment had been
compromised, he tried to escape and destroy the batch
before the situation became uncontrollable, but was
hindered too much by Teri, who was holding onto him so
tightly that his arms were firmly secured against his
torso.

"Quick, Montresor! You've got to destroy the rest of
the potion!"

Montresor hovered over to the table and attempted to
comply, when it was hit by a paintball and turned into
a naked girl.

"Not again..." Montresor moaned, standing up just in
time to get hit with another paintball. This time,
stars appeared in its eyes and and Montresor ran
towards Tetsuya with arms outstretched.

"Arrgh!" Kiburi-san yelled. There had to be some way
out of this chaos.

And so, with paintballs whizzing by around him and
dragging the two girls behind him, Kiburi-san managed
to sneak out of the room... to come face to face with
the assistant principal.

"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, SOLDIER?"

"Um, I, um, have to..."

"NO EXCUSES!"Just then, a paintball hit the assistant
principal. A glazed look came over his eyes, and he
rushed into the classroom.

150. Ryu looked around in disgust at all of the chaos that was happening.
Love
was the word, one of his many enemys, because Love was an agent of pink

Magick. "This Must be some Blasted Magical Girl's plot!" he said
outloud to
himself as Paintballs whizzed by him by accident.

Stangely no paintballs had come close to him yet.Probably cause no one
in
their right mind would want To hit Ryu with a Love paintball in the
first
place.

"Taiwan Come!" Ryu yelled to the little Foam rubber skull, that had not
been
hit yet.Taiwan bounded over and jumped into his Master's hand. Then
they
both began to march out the door when the Assitant principle ran up to
him.

"Where are you going Sold....... Er nevermind." The principle said
Letting
Ryu leave the chaos of the paintball room.

Ryu marched up to his locker and pulled out his Hate Formula that he
was
going to put in the school cafeteria food a few days ago until Kiburi
stopped him."Whats your plan master?" Taiwan asked.

"We are going to fight Fire, with Fire" ryu said using a spell to make
the
potion into tiny paintballs, which he prompltly put in his hand."Don't
you
need a Gun for that master?" Taiwan asked. "Well I don't know how to
shoot a
gun, so Im just going to use a spell to propel them at my targets" Ryu
awnsered.

Just then a Random Hippie student with the Love formula came running at
Ryu
Full tilt with paint ball gun Blazing. Thinking quickly Ryu fired a
hate
ball at her and scored."now then Hippie, take some of these paint balls
and
spread the Hate around!" The hippie complied taking a few paintballs
then
running off and shooting people as they then began to clobber each
other.

Of course then the hippie dumped the Hate paintballs for Nitroglycierin

ones, but someone else picked up the cursed Gun and began to fire at
people,
spreading the hate disease.

Ryu Nodded satisfied to himself, the Magical Girl plot would be
thwarted. He
then ran like hell as some students infected with the Hate virus began
to
try to clobber him.

Note to all TFOS players: I'm afraid that I made a tactical error in this next posting.
You see, you really aren't allowed to kill anyone. I got quite a bit of flack over this.
151. Kiburi-san watched as the pitchfork-wielding
school gardener fell from a tranquilizer dart from a
Lindstradt air rifle that he had found in the
janitor's closet. Resetting the action, he nailed a
paintball-wielding hippie, then turned around and
jump-kicked one of the alien students, who was trying
to attack him with a spray of mucus.

"Montresor, what the heck is going on?"

"Well, it sure looks like we weren't the only ones
making potions."

"Well, help me with this one." Kiburi-san took a
paintball gun out of his locker.

"What are you putting in these paintballs?"

"Oh, just a little liquid helium..."

"What for?"

"Well, when hit by these, the target will become
instantly cryogenically frozen, and placed in a state
of suspended animation for a few days, which should be
more than enough time for the spells to wear off."

"Uh, great idea, I think."

"Well, let's try it."

Kiburi-san shot at another hippie, who instantly froze
and turned blue. Another hippie bashed the first one,
who shattered like a china statue, sending rock-hard
freeze-dried chunks of it ricocheting around the
hallway.

"I think I'm gonna puke." KIburi-san said, turning
away and looking green.

"Well, back to the drawing board, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Hey, I've got an idea!"

"What?"

"Well, females are less prone to violent action, are
they not?"

"Um, I guess, but..."

"FIne, then this will take care of it." Extracting a
firehose-like attachment, Montresor darted back into
the classroom and began soaking everyone inside with
Kiburi-san's potion.

152. Sally's reasons not to sleep during a firefight:
1:My dress was covered in paint.
2:My dreams moved from normal, to picking flowers in a psychedelic
landscape, to tearing the heads off of passersby, and back again.
3:Waking up to a blast of paint from a hose can nearly drown you.

153. Maiyuki sits back and watches as the other go into complete chaos. SHe
could
care less for the others and basicly dogdes the paint ball when they
shoot
off near her. She spend the rest of class however doing her nail and
hair
maybe even yawning a few times. She looks rather board even though the
is in
all out war going on in the class room.

Soon a paint ball come flying straight at her but she bends over to
pick up a
nail file she drops and the paint ball misses her. She doesn't seem to
have
any feelings of regret for what she just did.

154. Lapin didn�t know what to think. He bearly ever did thinking
anyway, he
was a space rabbit, but now he had been turned into a human girl and
was
very confused. She looked around the classroom. Chaos was everywhere,
there
were a lot of humans running around but not the one he knew the most,
the
girl with purple hair. Maiyuki just sat at the back of the class with
an
evil grin as a couple of hippies turned up shooting black pellets. A
few
bits of ice flew into the room (The ex-hippy).
�Ep?�
Lapin decided to try to find Kiki the only human she knew well. However

before she moved she noticed Taiwan again on a table waiting to jump at
her
again. She decided to run away but because Lapin wasn�t used to having
legs
she promptly fell straight to the floor as the skull dived over the top
of
her skidded into the hallway.
�Eppppppp!�
Suddenly another naked girl (Montresor) ran back into the classroom
followed
by a couple of explosions of Nitroglycierin holding a firehose. Behind
her
was Kiburi-San still with Teri and Kiki attached to each arm.

155. Ryu sat outside on the Front steps of the school.He really hated this
place."I haven't learned anything since Ive come here!" he said aloud
himself."There there master" Taiwan said. "AT least there's a school
full of
Chicks right now!" Taiwan said.

"Yes, but none of them interest me in the slightest, and I know I don't

interest them. I need some one more like me." he sighd heavily. "If
only my
application to Miskatonic University was not lost in the mail" He
mused.

Just then a Flying Nimbus Touched down in front of him.A wizened
looking Old
man in wizards robes sat on it. He then spoke. Looking at a letter as
he
did. "Are you Ryu Weightly?" He asked.

Ryu looked up at him and yelled "It's WHATELEY!!!" The old wizard
responded.
"Well then Ryu, we finanly Got your Transcript, you've been accpeted
into
Miskatonic, where you can get away from this Drab school that wastes
your
skills.Besides you'll be among your own Kind."

Ryu's face turned into one of Jubilation! His normally Pale skin was
flushed
with color, and his dark spooky eyes Got insanely Huge and BRight. "oh
THis,
THis Is the happiest Day of my Life!!!" he said.

"Well you'll start at your new school next week.Oh, your not an ALien
are
you?" ...The old man asked. "Er, no Im human.Mostly." He responded. The
old
wizard stroked his Beard "well, thats good, we don't allow Extra
Terrestrials in at Miskatonic,Although we do allow Demons and other
supernatural beings to attend."

"Well Ryu,I'll see you next monday" the Wizard said as he Flew away on
the
Nimbus.

Ryu sat happily with Taiwan who then spoke up."Hey! Maybe there will be
some
Skull chicks for me to hit on there!"

Just then a Full squadron on Alien Control Officers, Armed to the teeth

pulled up in front of the school.

"Alright Men! We got a Code 6 Here!" the lead ACO said.
"A Code six! God I hate paintball!" the lowest rank ACO said.
"Still jimmy, we've got to get into that school and subdue every Alien
student within, and if we can't manage that, were just gonna have to
Blow
the school up...TO SAVE IT!!!!" The lead said again.

"Alright men! Move out!!" The aco's then began to say Hut hut over and
over
as they ran into the school as a Horde, firing at everything that
turned up
nonhuman on their scanners.

156. Kiburi-san watched as Montresor's hose barrage
turned a substantial part of the chem class into naked
girls, who all ran around screaming. Using the chaos
as a cover, Kiburi-san ran to the back of the room
where the hippies had lined up and were shooting a
variety of paintballs. A few shots from the air rifle
had them sleeping relatively soundly, and a metal
pipette rack took care of the ammunition supply, and
creating quite a mess of different formulas running
together on the floor.

Kiburi-san decided that the first thing to do was to
restore order. He headed over to Montresor, who had
wrapped herself in one of the posters from the wall of
the classroom.

"Hey, Montresor, I need a megaphone!"

"How am I supposed to produce one in this body?"

"Well, where'd that hose come from?"

"Hmm, good point..." Montresor contemplated the fire
hose protruding from her collarbone.

"Okay, I'll give it a try."

Montresor's chest popped open to reveal a megaphone,
but then got dizzy and collapsed into a chair.

"I'm not feeling right..."

"Me either. I wonder what's going..."

Kiburi-san's gaze fell to the floor, where the mixed
chemicals were sending up an eerie blue smoke.

"I think that wasn't a good idea," Kiburi-san said in
the few moments before the fumes overwhelmed him and
everyone in the classroom, and a few seconds later
collapsed to the floor.

157. 'Sally'woke up spitting out paint and whining.
"Oh,my dress is ruined!", he whined out." Hey the teacher is
unconscious.
I'm going home!",Sally proclaimed happily. He skipped out of the
class,avoiding the unconscious bodies. He had been sleeping for a while
and
was really hating dream clowns and loving skipping. Sally skipped past
the
ACO's to the front stairs of the school.
"My God, that girl must be limp and trying to skip away from some
horrible
danger!",the lead ACO said. With that the group hut-hutted into
chemclass.
Sally continued onto the steps and saw Ryu, whom she fell on witha
sudden
shift of weight in her chest.
"Wait a second", Sally thought out loud," That last sentence said 'her'
and
'she' specifically and wasn't a typo on Shane's part!". Sally looked
down at
her new feminine physique and her eyes lit up.
"Has the universe seen fit to give me this wonderful body from my
karmic
achievements? What was the most recent good deed I've done? Well in
chem
class I cleaned up Ryu's mess... thats it!", Sally proclaimed loud and
squeakily, picking up Ryu and flailing him around in an embrace.
"Unhand me Amazon woman!", Ryu remarked. Sally hugged tighter at being
called woman. Ryu's eyes bulged slightly. Sally forcibly danced with
Ryu for
about five minutes. Then sat down next to him and started talking. Ryu
sat
there mostly because he was so dizzy.
"You have helped me in ways you don't even know.",Sally said
laughing
with no need to exaggerate her voice.
"The insane Oshiba High class, Yig I'm glad I'm leaving.", Ryu said
exasperated. Sally hugged him one more time.
"You see, all the evil you've done has improved me karmically so much
that
well... nevermind but its good.", Sally explained. Ryu was sick to his

stomach with the thought that all his plans had helped someone, instead

causing eeeeviil.
Sally got up to walk home when his gravity changed again.
"Aaachhh, I'm back to the way I was. I must have done something bad by
bragging. Maybe if I go to a temple and pray. Sally ran off to the
local
temple and started praying and eventually turned back into a she.
"The prayer did it!", Sally proclaimed. Little did he/she know that
this
would go on for the next two days.

158. Kiki was one of the first to wake up and the effects of the paint
on her
seemed to have worn off.
�The mix of all those chemicals must have worked as a knock out gas.�
She was about to worry over Lapin still in the classroom in human form,
but
then she heard the main school doors bust open to a full squadron of
Alien
Control Officers and found a new worry.
�That�s a bit much!� gasped Kiki.
The ACO�s looked around the hallways at all the students on the ground
knocked out.
�They�re already subdued sir,� said one of the ACO�s. The leader didn�t
know
what to do, he came here with his team for action but if there was no
alien
not subdued his team was not needed.
Kiki decided to crawl off and hide behind a locker.

159. A few hours later, in the evening

Kiburi-san collapsed into a chair, looking at the
parts of Miontresor strewn across the table. The ACOs
had raided the house, and taken everything: the guns,
the chemistry equiptment, and anything else dangerous.
They had even disassembled Montresor, and taken at
least half of his compartments. Sitting down with a
soldering iron, he slowly and painstakingly
reassembled the robot.

"Beep beep beep," Montresor said, sitting up and
looking around.

"Greetings, Master Kiburi-san. I am your evr-faithful
servant."

"What's gotten into you, Montresor?"

"Nothing has gotten into me. I feel perfectly fine."
Montresor hummed as it checked its internal
chronometer. "My goodness, Master! You've got to get
to your job!" Montresor grabbed Kiburi-san with one
of its gripper arms and dragged Kiburi-san through the
city at Mach One.

At Victoria's Secret

Kiburi-san sat back and watched Montresor waiting on
cuustomers. Amazingly, the ACO's forced refit had
seemed to have done wonders for its personality.

A girl walked into the store, picked out a few things,
and went into one of the dressing rooms. Kiburi-san
began reading a copy of Sports Illustrated that was
lying around for want of anything better to do.

"How do I look?"

"Kiburi-san turned to see that the girl had finished
in the dressing room, and was now standing in the
middle of the store in the rather skimpy lingerie.
Kiburi-san dropped the magazine. It hit the floor
around the same time as his jaw.

To one side, he could hear Montresor's gears turning,
and it began to glow. Then, after a few seconds, it
finally snapped.

"ARRGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER!" Montresor
dived at the girl, who shrieked and ran back into the
dressing room.

Kiburi-san
thought.

Just then, Teri entered the store.

"So, Kiburi, how about that date?"

"Um... What date?"

The girl bashed montresor over the head with a large
wooden mallet and turned towards Kiburi-san.

160. After bashing Montresor with the mallet, Ibuki stood in the middle
of the store, looking at Kiburi-san. She had first seen him one day
while browsing, and had decided that he was worth persuing.

After standing there for a moment in the skimpy, lacy black bra and
panties, it occured to her that she was standing half naked in a public
place. Her face turned bright red, and she slowly backed back into the
dressing room.

Teri watched as she backed away. "What date, huh? You know, the one
you asked me on and then passed out? The one you asked me on the day
we replaced my panties? Well, I guess if your'e too busy with that
girl from my History class..."

"Uh...no...I mean, I'm just doing my job. So what do you want to do?"
Kiburi stammered.

"You asked me, so I guess it's your show."

Ibuki came back out, dressed back in her standard Anime sailor getup,
and went over to Kiburi. "Your answer?" she asked him, holding the
lingerie in front of the appropriate areas of her body.

"Uh,...sure, yeah. Great." he said, nervously glancing at Teri as if
to ask what to do.

"Great, how's friday at 7:00? Oh, and I'll take these, too." she said,
handing him the lingerie.

"But...But...but..." Kiburi-san stuttered as Teri gave him a very dirty
look. She hadn't been present before, so she figured she had caught
Kiburi in the act.

Teri began to turn around to walk away.

161. Ryu walked with a new Bounce in his step. Smiling widely, he had the
Transfer papers in his hands, and was on his way to the assitant
prinicpils
office.

He stepped inside where the Asst.Principil was sitting behind his desk
playing with G.I. Joe Toys. "Ahem, Excuse me Sir, but here are my
Transfer
papers, You will see everything is in order"Ryu stated.

The prinicpil checked them over and then looked at Ryu. "Well Soldier,
it's
a shame were going to Lose you, but it's your decision. Next week
you'll
begin with your new Squadron." The Asst said.

Ryu smiled saluted and said "Thank you Sir!" He then walked out.
He then decided to go to the mall to shop for new school supplies.
He smiled and saluted the Aco's as he walked.

On he went into the food court with Taiwan to get something to eat.
"This is
our last week here Taiwan! We won't have to deal with Oshiba anymore!
We'll
be in Dreary,Cold,Foggy, Maryland at Miskatonic University!" He said to
his
companion. Taiwan looked over alittle depressed and then said."Yeah,
but I
never got to do what Ive always wanted to do". Ryu looked over at
asked,
"And what is that Taiwan?" Taiwan sighed then replied. "I wanted to
have a
battle for Top Sidekick! Me v.s. Montressor,Lapin, and Sally's
Grandfather
or Sponge, which ever she preffered. It woulda been cool, and I woulda
showed Im the Toughest Side Kick around!"

Ryu held his Friend and laughed. "Well I think it would have been a
waste of
your time to pound them anyway.Now lets get something to eat, nothing
can
get me down now!" They Sat in Food court and ate.

162. Maiyuki dispite the constant noise made by the rest of the
classroom in
geting up Maiyuki remains asleep. Mainly due to the time lag she
suffered in
space getting here. Hours pass and she still sleeps the janitor goes
and
cleans the room making it spotless with the execption of the one spot
where
Maiyuki has decide to crash for the rest of the day. It isn't till the
next
morning that she even wakes up.

163. Kiki was in the shop Racket with Lapin bouncing behind, back to his

normal self. She flicked through some CDs; �Yippee a new bis album!�
Kiki walked up to the counter CD in hand and put it on the desk.
�That�ll be $15,� said the clerk.
Kiki searched in her jacket pockets and put what she had on the desk.
�What the hell are these?� asked the clerk.
�Errr, Sockomi crystals, they�re the only currency I have.�
�Sorry girl we only take dollars or yen, not little shiny rocks.�
Kiki walked back to the rack and put the CD back.
�Hmmm I need to get money somehow, I know I�ll try to get a job
somewhere in
the mall!�
Suddenly Lapin jumped onto Kiki and started ep�ing like mad.
�What is it? Is there danger? What�s wrong?�
Then Kiki knew; �Poor thing you�re hungry aren�t you?� A little smile
appeared on Lapin�s face. They both hadn�t eaten for hours because of
the
mess in Chem class. The whole of the student body fell asleep through
lunch
time.
�Come on Lapin lets go to the food court and try and find something to
eat.
Of course it�s going to be hard since with have no money, but we can
try.�
So Kiki and Lapin headed towards the food court.

164. Kiburi-san rung up the purchase looking none to
happily at the girl in the sailor costume. Now he had
no idea what to do. He thought that he had a date on
Friday...

Friday! How could he have forgotten! Friday night
was the Oshiba High Dance! More nervous than ever,
Kiburi-san paced around the store, waiting for some
other customers.

Montresor came out of the back room, smiling widely.

"All right! Now I'm back to my normal self!"

"What did you do this time?"

"Oh, just re-equipped a bit..."

"With what?"

In answer, Montresor extracted a tube from his side
and aimed it at a wall. There was a puff of
compressed air, and a pair of panties shot out and hit
the wall at a decent velocity.

"Uh, what is that?"

"It's a lingerie gun! You fire it at the person, and
when they're dying of embarrassment, you bonk them on
the head with something!"

"Uh, okay, whatever you say, Montresor." Kiburi-san
went back to the counter.

"But that's not all!" Montresor extracted another
tube. "Watch this one!" He aimed it at a girl who was
walking by the store, with a small rabbit in tow.

"Wait, Montresor, that's-"

Montresor fired, and a giant gust flew through the
store, scattering bras and panties all over. Once the
gust hit the hall, though, it centered around Kiki and
then flew away, leaving her in her underwear.

"I, uh, think I, uh, need to, uh, check the stock,"
Kiburi-san stammered, hastily retreating to the back
room as Kiki charged at Montresor.

165. As kiki ran toward the food court, she didn't notice the young man in
her
way, as she slammed clear into him. They both fell to the floor, and
she
looked over noticing the small 5'3 98lb frame of Ryu. But there was
something diffrent about him.

He wore a Bright Blue School Uniform, instead of a Black one. His hair
was
neatly combed instead of it's usual spikyness. His eyes were bright and

cheery, instead of Small Dark and narrow.He had actual color to his
skin,
and a little pixie flew around him.

Ryu(?) spoke up. "Oh, how clumsy of me not to have seen you miss. Im
dreadfully sorry" He said.

Kiki spoke up "That's okay Ryu, I didn't see you" then her stomach
growled.

"oh my, you must be Hungry, well let me try to make up for my
clumsyness by
Buying you something to eat" he said."oh this is My New side kick,
Korea" he
said pointing to the Small Pikie flying around. "Hi there!" said the
pixie
in a Girlishly cute voice.

Not wanting to pass down a Free meal Kiki Agreed "Sure! Food's good!"

Down they walked into the Food court. When they entered Kiki had to
make a
Double Take. For sitting there in the middle of the Food court, was
Ryu, the
normal Ryu.He was speaking with Taiwan.She looked back over at Abnormal
Ryu,
then back at Normal Ryu....

Ryu Whateley 11th Grade. Mall

Ryu sat in the food court with the Taiwan. "Hey Master, You still don't
got
a date for the dance" Taiwan said. "Oh, Im not going to the Dance.
Besides,
Like I said earlier, I would have to summon a succubi if I wanted a
Date."
Ryu replied. "Eh, your Loss." Taiwan finished.

Then Ryu looked up and saw him self. The only thing He could say
was.."Oh
Dear Yig, nooo!!"

166. "And exhale", the doctor said as Sally forced out his breath."Well I
can't
seem to find anything wrong with you.", Dr. XXL proclaimed. Then Sally
became a girl.
"Hmmm, a bit of swelling, weight imbalance, feeling a little strange.
I'd
say either the mumps or some sex changing virus. I'm not quite sure.",
the
Dr. XXL mused scratching his head with his large crab claw. Sally had
decided to see a doctor after falling several times from the sudden
weight
shift.
"What do I dooo?", Sally pouted.
"Well that depends if your usually male or female....", the doctor
began.
"Tell me both, just in case.", Sally stated carefull not to sound
confused.
"Well, if your a boy you need to open some pickle jars. And if your a
girl
you have to put on lingerie and make-up.", the Doctor said waving his
crab
claw and trying to look superior. Sally looked at him increduously.
"Hey
that's how it works, its not like I make the rules. Besides, its well
known
that this universal cure works for all gender changing spells, devices,

diseases, and, ummm, stuff.", stated the doctor in a professional
manner.
"Yeah, right...", Sally trailed off as she left the office. It seemed
she'd
be looking for some pickle jars for the sake of morality. She also had
a
feeling Kiburi was behind all this.
"Or was it that boys wear lingerie and girls open pickle jars? Or girls
open
lingerie while eating pickles and guys eat lingerie from pickle jars?
Oh
well, I'm sure she will get it right.", the doctor related to himself
through a sock puppet.

167. Kiki in just her underwear did a flying leap cornering Montresor
against
a wall.
�I�m normally a cool and calm girl,� said Kiki holding a whack off
hi-tech
bazooka in hand and on shoulder, which seemed to have come out of
nowhere,
�But if you do something like that again�� The bazooka made a clicking
noise, �Then you�re toast, clear.�
�Yes,� squeaked Montresor.
Kiki suddenly changed back to her calm self, the bazooka disappeared
and
Montresor floated off above the back door. She walked up to the desk
and
yelled for assistants. The back door opened and Kiburi-San peeked
through.
�Oh it�s you,� said Kiki turning a bit red, �I didn�t know you worked
here.�
Kiburi-San came through the door knowing it was now safe. Kiki then
remembered that she was only wearing a bra and panties and turned a
deeper
shade of red.
�Can you just wait a second?� asked Kiki as a black hole appeared
behind
her. She walked backwards into it and came out a few seconds later with

clothes on, similar to the ones she just lost.
�Hey Kiburi-San there�s some good stuff in this shop isn�t there?�
�Y� yeah, I guess,� said Kiburi-San nervously.
�What do you think would look good on me?�
Kiburi-San quickly scanned the room looking at all the clothes and
underwear. He had to answer wisely it was a dangerous question to a boy
from
a girl. He chose his answer wisely and said; �I think you would look
good in
anything.�
�Smooth talker,� said Montresor, �I would have said that little black
number
over there.�
Kiki ignored the robot.
�Hey do you think I can borrow Montresor for a couple of hours. I just
want
to check his memory so I can catch up on some things.�
�Errr I don�t know��
Suddenly a strange noise came from Kiki�s belly.
�Ugg, I�m hungry. We�ll talk about the robot later.�
Kiki was just stepping out when she called back to Kiburi-San; �Hey do
you
know of any shop I can get a job at?�
�Errr I think the shoe shop has an opening.�
�Thanks!� said Kiki walking off. Ten seconds later she noticed Lapin
was
missing.
�The food court!�

168. Kiburi-san's shift at Victoria's Secret was
finally over. Clumping home, he sat at the kitchen
table.

"Hey Montresor, what are we going to do tonight?"

"I dunno. Look for chicks?"

"Since Pleanty left, nothing has happened around here.
Today's just been a bunch of jumbled, boring nothing.
And now that the ACOs busted me, I can't even make
any cool inventions, and they took all the cool ones I
already had. Do you have anything left, Montresor?"

"Just those two things I whipped together in the metal
shop after the ACOs took all my stuff."

"So what do we have left?"

"Well, there's the remains of Junkheap One in the
yard, your reserve chemical supplies in the
basement... and there's always the Playboy
Channel..."

"Oh, well... Maybe I'll have to sneak back into
Optimus and get a new supply of stuff. Anyway, the
big school dance is tomorrow."

"Ooh! Girls in low-cut dresses!"

"However, you'll be down for your routine maintenance
check."

"Awwww..."

"Say, did the ACOs steal my Tuxedo?"

"No, it's still in your room."

Kiburi-san disappeared for a second, then returned in
a neon-bule tuxedo with multicolored fiber-optics
glowing in strange flowing designs across the fabric.

"Well, what do you think?"

"I'd say a cross between Disco Fever, The Hitchiker's
Guide to the Galaxy, and a christmas tree."

"Very funny. This was all the rage back on Optimus."

"Why don't you just go rent a nice black one?"

"Are you kidding? Those are for funerals, not dances!
I bet the girls will swoon over this snappy outfit!"

"I think you need to go to sleep. Your brain doesn't
seem to be operating at normal capacity."

"O ye of little faith! Fine. Go watch your drunken
debauchery. I'm getting ready for a date with a real
girl!"

"Uh, the dance isn't until tomorrow, you know..."

"Oh, right." Kiburi-san sat back down at the table
and looked depressed again.

The clock chimed midnight as Kiburi-san fell asleep,
collapsed forward over the kitchen table.

END OF DAY 4

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 5 Day 6