"Life sure would be boring if there weren't people around who screwed up so other people could laugh at them."

The Ominous Characters

These characters are not real-time players in the PBEM. These players are controlled by the referee, and are used to help lead the story along. However, they are real characters, and they are played as real characters in the PBEM (meaning that no matter how badly you want to, you can't kill them).

Teachers at Kuzuru High

Name: Mr. Haberushimu
Type: Human
Ususal Gender: Male
Age: 53
Occupation: Principal

Smarts: 4
RWP (Relations with Principal): 6
Driving: 3
Cool: 1
Bod: 2
Luck: 3
Looks: 4
Bonk: 4

Knacks:
Scare the living daylight out of students +2
do paperwork +4
Panic and hide under desk +10

Powers:
Lose it completely

Traits: short-tempered, nervous, shifty

Mr. Haberushimu is an average, almost-mild-mannered principal. He almost never leaves his office, preferring to spend his time doing paperwork. When forced to discpiple kids, he has a simple rule: If they look short and puny, make their lives hell, and if they're not, cower under the desk and have the security guards give the sutdent hell. Either way, the student usually gets hell. However, the principal is incredibly skittish and even something that sounds remotely like an emergency siren will keep him under his desk for a good half-hour, or until someone comes to "rescue" him.

Name: Mrs. Torukoruko
Type: Human
Ususal Gender: Female
Age: 32
Occupation: English teacher

Smarts: 5
RWP (Relations with Principal): 4
Driving: 1
Cool: 4
Bod: 4
Luck: 2
Looks: 3
Bonk: 2

Knacks:
Give incredible dull lectures +2
Look really hurt so students will feel sorry for screwing around in class +5

Powers:
Run Like Heck

Traits: calm, meek, unobtrusive

Mrs. Torukoruko is the school's head English teacher. After years of students screaming in hundreds of different tounges at her, she has finally become resigned to her fate. Delivering her lectures with monotonous indifference, she only disciplines kids when they actually get up enough nerve to personally attack her (which isn't often). Because of this, there is almost always a security guard patrolling outside her classroom, waiting to burst in at the first sound of trouble.

Name: Mr. Waruningu
Type: Near-Human
Ususal Gender: Male
Age: 24
Occupation: History Teacher

Smarts: 6
RWP (Relations with Principal): 2
Driving: 4
Cool: 5
Bod: 3
Luck: 4
Looks: 3
Bonk: 6

Knacks:
Command Attention +2
Make students feel miserbale +6

Powers:
Zap

Traits: condescending, sarcastic, patronizing

Mr. Waruningu is the school's overly sarcastic history teacher. Fond of teasing the students to the point of insanity, his mixture of ridicule and wit are the major cause of students taking early summer vacations. Of course, when the sarcasm doesn't cuase enough misery to a student, he can always give them a little jolt to emphasize his point. After nearlyt getting canned by the prinicpal over this point, his relationship with the administration is still strained.

Students

Name: Yoshi Takezawa
Type: Human
Ususal Gender: Male
Age: 17

Smarts: 4
RWP: 3
Driving: 3
Cool: 2
Bod: 4
Luck: 6
Looks: 6
Bonk: 4

Knacks:
Get in trouble +3
Powers:
Lose it completely

Traits: easily agitated, confused, passive

Yoshi is mainly your typical, average high school student. He goes to classes, plays on the soccer team, does homework and tries to get girls to go on dates with him. However, despite being realtively normal, he seems to almost attract trouble like some sort of spiritual magnet.

Name: Mika Yokohama
Type: Human
Ususal Gender: Female
Age: 16

Smarts: 5
RWP: 4
Driving: 2
Cool: 4
Bod: 5
Luck: 2
Looks: 5
Bonk: 4

Knacks:
Convince Anyone +2
Get a Date +1
Master of Suuiberuchiiru +1

Powers:
Incredibly Cute

Traits: shy, insanely jealous, curious

Mika is normally just a shy, cute, unassuming schoolgirl. But get on her bad side, and it is best to leave for a few months. The consequences can be quite explosive. Mika is also nosy, and occasionally sticks her head into things and gets in trouble.

Name: Taki
Type: Near-Human
Ususal Gender: Male
Age: 17

Smarts: 6
RWP: 1
Driving: 1
Cool: 3
Bod: 5
Luck: 5
Looks: 4
Bonk: 6

Knacks:
Clobber Opponents +2
Wierd Science +1

Powers:
Forcefield
Shapechange
Deep Freeze

Traits: belligerent, temperamental, manic

Taki is an alien from somewhere around 51 Pegasi. Relatively short in stature, he is a veritable genius inventor with a terrible temper. A lover of solitude, he has been known to freeze people who continuously pester him. Seldom around town unless he is on a mission, he can often be found in the back corner of the Kuruzu Happy Noodle, muttering over a series of complicated diagrams.